In this World I believe there is someone for everyone. For a Soul as loving as yours there is someone special. Perhaps they are already in your life, perhaps they will come tomorrow - but they will come.
Take time for your Good Self, you are worth more than you know.
Dave.

I am so happy to learn your son is back. That had to been so difficult; but you were wise to leave it to him to find his way back. Wishing more good things will come your way in 2015.


Gerry

the pain so bad last night
my hands i speak of
was unbearable
the water works not making
anything feel better
a reminder of my decline
something i don't want to know
i am dropping most everything
eventually
in my day i'd say 50 drops of
whatever might be in my hands
eventually falls
i could take meds such as Lyrica
it was one of several we tried for my neurological
damage and problems with the side effects
deadly
blisters in my mouth heart palpation
and i do remember my hands and feet
were pain free magic number was 4 tablets
i forget how many mg
i will not experiment anymore
and to read all the problems
people have coming off the drug
i'm glad my body did not have a chance
to become a necessary intake for being on it
for that amount of time
my choice
hence my pain
as i clearly understand i have two independent
things going on
mechanical and neurological
unable to take meds for neurological
cannabis Does help with the burning or cold
but mostly the pain so bad i am itching my hands and feet
so for whatever it's worth i can only do such when available
so many things screwed up
just keep going on
though depression has set in
and has made itself at home in my brain
most know how i type
with an pencil eraser head
my hands
me

Eva,

With all that's going out with your children; it's understandable to be down; but; and the "Big But....is smiling little Eva. When you get a chance will you please post a picture of her. Those "beautiful dark eyes". I probably don't have it right; but I know she would call you something like MeMaw.

Hang in there with me my dear friend. Some of the meds may have lost their effectivenes. Meds for depression at times, actually can add to the depression. It takes quite a while to get the right dose; even for just a shot time. How much longer will you need to be on the Tamoxifien??

Love & Prayers,

Gerry

dearest Gerry

i am on Femra that replaces the Tamoxifen
kicking my butt
the sweats are back
on 100 mg Zoloft Generic
there isn't much change on a depressive state
since on the Femra many changes
terrible
my hands and feet
my skull my ears i feel it all
so unusual
do not even know to explain it
just do

thank you i'll be hanging in there
there is no option
and it be Corissa and Eva

love to you and family
during this very holy time
happy birthday Jesus
AMEN
me

Eva,
It seems you had many of those issues when you first went on the Tamoxifen. Was there any special reason for the change? I think at the time you posted you were going to have to take the Tamoxifen for 5 years. It must be 3 or 4 years that you first started taking it. I think??
Have you tried Paxil for the depression?

Hope you, Corissa, and little Eva had a loving Christmas.

Take care dear friend,

Gerry

Dear Gerry

January 12th 2012 is my anniversary date
you have been following
i had to change because of the meds my shrink had me on
it did not work with the prozac he put me on lexepo put me in the state i am unable to shake off the desire to go home
It has zero to do with my children
even with all emotional pain inflicted
by my son
never a thought i wish i hadn't had children
it was time to come off of the tamoxifen
and a additional 5years on the new drug
Femera
i have been put on it for about 6 months
and it is this drug that made nausea a all day thing
he sweats are back
oh how i remember those nights changing my pj 2-3 times a night
there is a constant discharge
sometimes it has a hue of pink to it
i will see Mark my Oncologist nest week
i am going to ask him if i could go back on tamoxifen
right now i am on
morning
60mg oxycontin pain twice a day
4mg zanaflex muscle relaxer three times a day
1mg xanax anxiety twice a day
2.5mg femera once a day
100 zoloft once a day
5mg oxycodone once a day break thru

taken with hope for some help

a miracle is what i'm hoping for
in any form that keeps me HAPPY
PLEASE SOME HAPPINESS

I pray that your Christmas was
everything you hoped for

love
us

If I had but one smile
Left in my life.
I would wish it upon
You.

You sure have quite a lot there. Nausea is one of the worst things personally will bring me close to tears. Hope you can get that changed.

I take 60 mgs Oxycontin ever 6 hrs = 4 a day and the Oxycodone (Percocet) 7.5 mg's up to 4 a day for break thru. They really help when pain breaks thru to bring it a little more tolerant.

Also take Vallium which is not only for anxiety but for muscle pain. The Vallium really does help with the muscle pain. The nightly Ambien CR really helps get a decent amount of sleep. It seems to act like anesthetic . No pain for at least a little while.

I really hope you can find the right medication for the depression. Pain brings depression; but it seems like you are dealing with more than just depression from pain.


Gerry

I hear ya.