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11-16-2015, 09:29 PM | #201 | ||
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Senior Member
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i'm so sorry for what you're going through eva. i hope and pray things will get better for you. you have helped me so much with my struggles and i hope you know that i am here if you need a friend to talk to too. you are a very special person who is very much needed in this world. sending heartfelt thoughts your way.
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RSD ME . |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | eva5667faliure (11-16-2015) |
11-16-2015, 10:24 PM | #202 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Quote:
me
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someone who cares eva |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | RSD ME (11-17-2015) |
11-16-2015, 10:29 PM | #203 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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I find safety in sleep.
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"Thanks for this!" says: | eva5667faliure (11-17-2015), RSD ME (11-17-2015) |
11-16-2015, 10:29 PM | #204 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Quote:
the support i get and need is right here help me pull through things i cannot do myself thank you for your love also me
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someone who cares eva |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | EnglishDave (11-17-2015), RSD ME (11-17-2015) |
11-18-2015, 12:03 PM | #205 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Jesus I'm so scared how things are happening
so quickly My whole right side of my body hurts to the touch I cannot wear anything against my skin It hurts and burns so badly But explain the relief when I scratch the crap out of my back You know that counter pain THE KIND OF PAIN THAT NEEDS TO BE SCRATCHED SO HARD YOU SWEAR YOUR SKIN HAS COME OFF WONDER WHAT I SCRATCH WITH WHEN IT COMES ON MY PENCIL and what I also notice is my back area upper what we call our chicken wing that is the most sensitive area My sweet spot of neurological pain I cannot take ANYTHING FOR I remember when it first became an issue Never knowing it was the beginning of my body breaking down I love in an area that is considered extremly toxic NEW JERSEY HAS A STRIP CALL CANCER ALLEY the factories along the NJ TURNPIKE I watched the towers come down that is how close I am to the toxic air I breathed since coming I to this country back in 1966 to date as I am still in the same area The pain the pain See my shrink today Have so much to talk about Be back later All have a great day Love Me
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someone who cares eva |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | EnglishDave (11-18-2015), RSD ME (11-20-2015) |
11-19-2015, 07:44 AM | #206 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Something terrible is going on with my hands and feet
Yesterday again out of nowhere a pain shot into my right big toe I sat and watched it happen with my daughter as witness This is not the first time I have had the same thing happen to the inside of my hands I will post a picture of that one also Scared I am I go to my pain specialest today with pictures in tow As my daughter will come with me to doctors to confirm I did not bang into anything It starts out with a sharp pain Then the troubled spot would be piercing pain As pain increases the vien in my toe underside swelled with blood the whole toe swelled Then the pain subsides and a large bruise black and blue and purple This just another dangerous thing to happen I suffer from bad circulation no surprise my mother me and another sister suffer the same Only I am the one with the swelling pain and then the bruise I am very scared No circulation of any blood to an organ will die I certainly do not want to loose any parts of my body then I already have I think you get the picture The hands are killing now as I type It is darn frightening Love Me
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someone who cares eva |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | EnglishDave (11-19-2015), RSD ME (11-20-2015) |
11-19-2015, 07:14 PM | #207 | |||
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Magnate
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Dear Eva,
I am so sorry you have yet another thing to contend with, it really is not fair how issues keep mounting up, one after another. As if we did not have enough with our mental turmoil. I go for a CT scan on my liver and abdomen next Wednesday to try to find out what is causing my bad Blood Test Results. One more worry. Dave.
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You and I are yesterday's answers, The earth of the past come to flesh, Eroded by Time's rivers To the shapes we now possess. The Sage - Emerson, Lake & Palmer. |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | eva5667faliure (11-19-2015), RSD ME (11-20-2015) |
11-19-2015, 07:51 PM | #208 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Quote:
is this not the truth or what my doc wants me to see a hematologist hasn't a clue will get my kid to post one of the two pictures that shows how bruised the unknown pain leaves it is so scary when it happens you stay well as you can praying test give answers love me
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someone who cares eva |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | EnglishDave (11-20-2015), RSD ME (11-20-2015) |
11-20-2015, 07:30 AM | #209 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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The vein that blew in my toe
This isn't the first time this has happened It is however the first time on my foot Most time it would be my hands This scares me Pain specialest said go to hematologist He does not know why the bruises happen Asked if I was still taking my Meds of tamoxifen My chemo in a pill There is a good picture in the camara where my hand thumb area on inside of hand As the pain starts to begin a piercing one will slowly heighten then the surrounding veins begin to fill with blood and swell I swear like something out of a horror movie Thank goodness my daughter Corissa was home It too frightened her Then a feeling of a popping Like a pimple would come to a head and bam pop and release After that happens the whole area I experience the pain becomes a huge bruise If I wouldn't have taken pictures And the perplexed look of my doctors face when viewing my big toe But the best was in the camara picture of my hand and thumb This now my new fear I ask the words I did not want to write down in words or even verbalize "Can I throw a clot" Answer "There is a chance" "You need to see a hematologist" Oooooookay What now What the fudge else is going on Why are my veins swelling with blood and just burst Can anyone understand Why this body does not want to feel anymore I don't want to die sick and young If it is this be Gods plan I don't know what to say There has always been bad circulation in the family Ironically an Aquarius will suffer leg and feet problems The star are so far yet so close You know what I mean The agony to start the day again I have been following the Discovery Channel There is a family of nine that includes mom and pop The are call the Brown family Living the Bush life Found land in Alaska A family so close in the Spirit of love Five boys two girls Well ironically two nights ago a new season show is on Mom is emergency vac with the film crew there Diagnosis crushing deteriorating veterbre Her entire spine degenerative Her chief complaint neck I watched her and sobbed like a baby Because of such a hard life on the body It is now breaking me down I feel beaten down Is it in me to fight in the start of my day I try real hard not to stop doing what I love But I always comes with a price This too I understand Wh what a way to live Will post some more later Meds kicking in Going to TRY and get some much needed sleep I retired in about three in the morning And up at seven Love Me
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someone who cares eva Last edited by eva5667faliure; 11-20-2015 at 08:36 AM. |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | EnglishDave (11-20-2015), RSD ME (11-20-2015) |
11-24-2015, 09:14 AM | #210 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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It is real
It is not welcomed It comes to visit me while I sleep It is even in my dream state I am aware what is happening I wait listen in my dream I can feel it begin to settle in my gut The core of me and just wants to control all else that will follow I will awaken in a very uncomfortable unsettling entity and when it manifests into a physical way I'm screwed for a bit I try and be very aware of this and am doing my hardest NOT TO SLIP AWAY INTO THE ABYSS with no way to return Depression sucks big time And just because I was diagnose with deep depression traumatized by my dad At an earlier time in my childhood that I took Into my adult life Now I am trying to live somewhat of a life with all these issues one moment at a time Love Me
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someone who cares eva |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | EnglishDave (11-24-2015), RSD ME (11-24-2015) |
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