FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
Today's Posts |
11-25-2015, 07:51 AM | #211 | |||
|
||||
Grand Magnate
|
I wait till at least 7:00 a.m.
Came from focus three Left my message of blessings To take me out of my depression The company of my dog will be Soooooo awesome The pain is through the roof in the morning hours To not want to feel anymore The heart The soul The body The mind To see someone look at me and not wonder what is wrong with her Oh the drama Oh dear lord Even those who look upon me as weak no mind No body No soul No heart No eyes to really see I cry every single morning In my pain that takes me all over the map And until my Meds are in my system and await The wave of relief I cannot express what that feels like Every single morning I use my I pod to force my fingers to get the exercise to get the circulation going I remember the first time I noticed my hands would tingle That was about ten years ago When in resting position It would be noticed mostly then Now in the morning Even the roots of my hair hurts Every inch of this tall body I am 5' 9 1/2" tall Now bent over as I walk I lost a good head in height My entire right back Feels like burning flesh and how an animal would go into a frenzy for food As I were being screwed torn ripped apart With all the pain that just makes me not want to go on anymore THIS IS WHAT MY PAIN DOES TO ME MAKES ME WISH I WEREN'T ALIVE I am trying stay positive But those who suffer the pain That one wishes not to go through another day I thank God I have the Meds to help me get through my day safely and as event free as possible I have new concerns That be throwing a clot It is possible Said the pain doctor Unable to explain why my hands and feet veins get inflamed and then burst Where is this traveling through my body So a hematologist is who I will need to see Yet another doctor for a new prioblem It is real I have pictures for the new doctor Will start my phone calls today and find someone in my plan You don't want them bills to build up in that pile I can never pay I had a sweet job Operative word Had Will try to stay up beat Going to my eldests home Should be very interesting Love Me
__________________
someone who cares eva |
|||
Reply With Quote |
"Thanks for this!" says: |
12-01-2015, 10:46 AM | #212 | |||
|
||||
Grand Magnate
|
Oh how depression robs us of soooo sooooo much
To have to make decisions Informed I do all I can to educate myself in everything I do Yesterday a rekindled relationship with a longtime friend left me in the dust Having to go to the lawyer and have to handle writing down all the information necessary I was told I would get the help Mentioning it yesterday morning of the appointment not a word mentioned Insdead babysat a woman in the building that was not important However there will be a pay off at the time she expires Point The root of all evil Money money money It will not be something I will be a part of I gave with my whole being With nothing but the truth of a friendship not based on any hidden lies Does it make me sad Most certainly I'm back in the relationship after five no speaking (issues with herself and me when it had to do with my infant granddaughter and a control matter) I pray she become a grandmother from her only son Only then will the situation will be understood And the way I need to deal with some very hurtful things Out of sight out of mind For five years My depressive state Again heightened by what my shrink would say to me "Eva, are you surprised ?" My answer is always yes! yes! yes ! Asked my child if she came to my door would I turn her away Never And we spoke for many hours Over time I have been the open me I always am and I need to step aside I have learned things that are very hurtful such as Her jealous insecurities This someone I worked with and in the height if my drinking career left me with another coworker who RAPED ME she left me knowing how I felt about him and that be nothing but a coworker Was this her way of hurting me because of her jealous feelings I never knew of I am super blown away And it was a true honest question Can you accompany me to the lawyers Knowing all that would eminate filing bankruptcy Yeah a BIGGY But I did it crying as I had fill out nine pages Now what to do What I did do is text her when I got home and expressed I had no clue of her new plans and called her on it Well I don't have to say apologies I accepted But have a different feel about us I can see the reasons and it disturbs me What's wrong with ME I can only control myself and am confused Do I stay Or back down I am not about things and money Sad it makes me Reality It is what it is How does this effect my mental state Where do I shove this When do I say enough already Stop it Eva Me
__________________
someone who cares eva |
|||
Reply With Quote |
"Thanks for this!" says: | RSD ME (12-01-2015) |
12-03-2015, 09:19 AM | #213 | ||
|
|||
Senior Member
|
hi eva. just wanted to let you know i was thinking of you and hoping that you are having a better day today. sending healing thoughts your way.
__________________
RSD ME . |
||
Reply With Quote |
"Thanks for this!" says: | EnglishDave (12-03-2015), eva5667faliure (12-03-2015) |
12-03-2015, 09:51 AM | #214 | |||
|
||||
Grand Magnate
|
Quote:
I think of you and many Sometimes I need to recap because like yourself and respond lets me know your listening And I need to make sure I listen and pay attention Don't have to tell you what Meds do to Our long and short term memory Your care and kindness received May I too be there for you It takes me out of myself Love Me May your days be bright!
__________________
someone who cares eva |
|||
Reply With Quote |
"Thanks for this!" says: | EnglishDave (12-03-2015), RSD ME (12-04-2015) |
12-08-2015, 08:01 PM | #215 | ||
|
|||
Senior Member
|
hi eva. just wanted you to know that i'm thinking of you and hope you're having a better day today. take care my friend.
__________________
RSD ME . |
||
Reply With Quote |
"Thanks for this!" says: | eva5667faliure (12-08-2015) |
12-08-2015, 11:20 PM | #216 | |||
|
||||
Grand Magnate
|
Quote:
love me thank you for listening thank you for sharing thank you for not judging thank you friend
__________________
someone who cares eva |
|||
Reply With Quote |
"Thanks for this!" says: | RSD ME (12-09-2015) |
12-09-2015, 01:02 PM | #217 | |||
|
||||
Grand Magnate
|
Quote:
me
__________________
someone who cares eva |
|||
Reply With Quote |
"Thanks for this!" says: | RSD ME (12-10-2015) |
12-10-2015, 07:41 AM | #218 | ||
|
|||
Senior Member
|
hi eva. thanks for thinking of me! you are so nice. still struggling with alot of rsd pain and problems with my stomach but am trying to do the best i can with what i have. my brother isn't doing much better. it breaks my heart but he just won't get the proper help and i feel like i have to distance myself a little from him now until he does. it breaks my heart but the stress has affected my health and i need to let go for now. anyway, enough about me, how are you today? i hope you are doing better and that you have a wonderful day. love and hugs.
__________________
RSD ME . |
||
Reply With Quote |
"Thanks for this!" says: | eva5667faliure (12-10-2015) |
12-10-2015, 09:04 AM | #219 | |||
|
||||
Grand Magnate
|
Quote:
You are in my opinion have done the right thing removing yourself that you brothers condition has begun to affect you in a tougher than usual care for him I pray he and my daughter that made me a grandmother Who fell in love with her A true gift Helps me appreciate my family even more And make no mistake that it does come with huge emotional pain When your child is crumbling before my own eyes Operative word here is emotional So hurry up already And May your days be merry and bright Love Me Happy holidays to my friend
__________________
someone who cares eva |
|||
Reply With Quote |
"Thanks for this!" says: | RSD ME (12-10-2015) |
12-10-2015, 12:41 PM | #220 | |||
|
||||
Member
|
Hi Eva,
Thinking of you today and sending prayers and healing energy. I know this is such a tough time of the year, we see everyone running around shopping, going to holiday parties and being active and pain free. I know we all wish we could be doing the same thing. Yet, I do find I am uplifted and inspired by my friends, like you, on these forums. You inspire me Eva with all you endure and every day you find a way to pull yourself up and forge ahead. You are strong and determined and committed to care for yourself and your family. Bless you Eva....thanks for sharing your thoughts. D. |
|||
Reply With Quote |
"Thanks for this!" says: | eva5667faliure (12-10-2015), RSD ME (12-10-2015) |
Reply |
|
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Forum | |||
can't take anymore | Traumatic Brain Injury and Post Concussion Syndrome | |||
Not sure anymore | New Member Introductions | |||
just cant do this anymore | Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy (RSD and CRPS) | |||
Please help - cant take it anymore! | Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy (RSD and CRPS) | |||
What Should I do, I just don't feel wanted anymore | Survivors of Suicide |