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01-08-2016, 07:29 PM | #231 | |||
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Magnate
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Dear eva,
Do not let them overly stress you, I know the unresolved issue will do that itself. Keep badgering your Doctor until you get the right treatments. Dave.
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You and I are yesterday's answers, The earth of the past come to flesh, Eroded by Time's rivers To the shapes we now possess. The Sage - Emerson, Lake & Palmer. |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | eva5667faliure (01-09-2016), RSD ME (01-10-2016) |
01-09-2016, 05:03 PM | #232 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Quote:
a concern that i await the promise to contact me as soo as he receives it has me call three days cathy at the hospital tells me when she sent it over to the office i'm just lied to and i can't stand that calls my daughter who is back up never called me i'm tired of the lies that's all let me not complain i might go off and then they'll say what's wrong with her sick of it today love me
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someone who cares eva |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | EnglishDave (01-09-2016), RSD ME (01-10-2016) |
01-17-2016, 02:13 PM | #233 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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my mental state very fragile
i am on the fence kind of feeling and either which way i should fall will hurt so i'm not sure what to do i won't do anything at all i have to keep my crap together i am so afraid to write what i deeply feel and it does not feel good unknown pains no answers nothing clear just not feeling better in any way under my right arm feels bruised inside it's the bag that i let be done to me i should have gone with my gut and not have anything such as the balloons in my chest the pain is from a plastic bag what was i thinking now there is just so many things i sometimes don't know if i am coming or going i don't know what to say other than it is scary i don't like the feeling it is something i have to be conscious of as it manifests physically like now in my gut and just spreads anybody anybody please am i alone in this don't know just don't get how strong it can become fighting it me
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someone who cares eva |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | PamelaJune (01-27-2016), RSD ME (01-20-2016) |
01-17-2016, 06:34 PM | #234 | |||
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Magnate
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Dear eva,
Please know that you are NEVER alone throughout any worries or problems. I know you have problems with some Drs, but is there not one who you can approach to get checked out. My Mum used to have her implant checked regularly after so many years. Thinking of, and praying for you. Dave.
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You and I are yesterday's answers, The earth of the past come to flesh, Eroded by Time's rivers To the shapes we now possess. The Sage - Emerson, Lake & Palmer. |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | PamelaJune (01-27-2016), RSD ME (01-20-2016) |
01-17-2016, 10:58 PM | #235 | |||
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Member
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"and it does not feel good
unknown pains no answers nothing clear just not feeling better in any way under my right arm feels bruised inside it's the bag that i let be done to me i should have gone with my gut and not have anything such as the balloons in my chest the pain is from a plastic bag" Dear Eva, I pray for you often. So sorry to hear you are dealing with this. Have you spoken to your oncologist or surgeon about the pain you are experiencing from your implant? At a breast cancer support group I sometimes attend, a woman who feels as you do, that she, perhaps, should not have done implants after her breast cancer surgery, had hers removed because she was feeling so uncomfortable. She said she feels better physically but even more important, emotionally. I know you have many health issues and it is hard to find the time or emotional stamina to research but there is a site called www.breastcancer.org where you can research people's questions and answers, just like this site. You can also join and post your own questions. There is also the Susan Komen site that is very helpful http://ww5.komen.org/ Eva, I had breast cancer too and use a prosthesis. I generally wear loose clothing or vests and almost never use the prosthesis unless I have to get dressed up( which is RARE) or wear a sweater. It really is not a bad option. Please PM me if you want to talk about any other details. I feel so bad you are suffering. Take care, my friend, Diandra |
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01-18-2016, 12:40 AM | #236 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Quote:
yes my oncologist is the one who ordered the sonogram of the remaining tissue for my annual check up i will still get annual check ups when checking me the radiologist came in and assured all was well that it was the implant causing the pain and when i had my last surgery that being the bags going in this surgery botched also my left one has formed a "double bubble" it needs surgery to fix it here is the darn thing as i was getting ready to have the job done i told the surgeon this will be the last time i go under willingly i will never have surgery again i used the pain unnecessary but there it is all the independent things going on at once it tooooo much like today the weather stinks rain and snow i'm just crippled with the pains my doctors are becoming complacent it all just be a routine day for them i hope either one of them will pursue why my veins are swelling in my hands and feet to the point they burst and then the bruising no answers 15 pages of read of results all is great yet what is causing it you know what i mean my example may have been poor it all was horribly done me
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"Thanks for this!" says: | EnglishDave (01-18-2016), RSD ME (01-20-2016) |
01-18-2016, 08:18 AM | #237 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Every time I stir to wake each day
Before my eye even open Conscious of the pain of depression wants so hard to take over my body I keep fighting the feeling after some meditation prayer Pray that my family not have a rough day Haven't heard from my eldest when I disclosed what happened She is reacting in a very strange manner As a product of the same makeup what I mean here is "It hasn't escaped the difficulties we all suffer from" It did not sit well with her that her brother was the one my adult child in a rehab now telling her what the choice of dirt was this time and both agree their eldest sister wouldn't understand And the next thing she needed to get off the phone and speak to her untrusting (just my assements) her life her business But the family in crises must all be on the same page So now I have my eldest going through I don't know what It was this she just did not like "She changed, she wouldn't understand" Is it this Is it me brining it to her attention after speaking to her about it and that I am not involved in the interactions my children have with each other but am in awe they in the end find their way back together Something must be going on between them for her to react as she is This just makes it a little harder to get us together and have a dining room table sit down A mothers job never ends This too is making me sad I will wait to hear from her Until then My other child will be on her way home Wednesday after a week in there It is not taken as seriously as I would have had enough experience What really matters is that she make it work Anyhow No word other then he is doing better Will be seeing his cardiologist And I will fight this feeling And hope for a good day Peace to my friends Me
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01-27-2016, 08:04 AM | #238 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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It sickens me to no end the amount of time I need to brush off depression that would like to take over my body
Fighting what i already possess just runs thin when a body just hurts so badly Depression in what form today To say there is only one way of being depressed Is like saying a zebra has purple stripes You get what i mean It is a bunch of stuff And having to sort it out is a pain in the butt I just want to be pliable As the weather get warmer I found a walking partner I will give it a try as soon as the weather gets better We will join the town pool You read right We are charged to use the town pool But it's what my body wants And I'm going to give it to save what little still works I'm so frightened of not knowing Yet only I feel what's going on Me
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someone who cares eva |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | PamelaJune (01-27-2016), RSD ME (03-21-2016) |
02-01-2016, 08:55 AM | #239 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Such sadness
Utter sadness How can one harbor such sadness on such a grand scale I never know where to start I just do do do And forget about me What and when will it be me me me Everyone living life on life's terms But this monkey ony back is killing it for me The burden I give to You Father I cannot anymore And the more I say that The more I do Where is the relief Where is the help Where is the compassion What is wrong with everyone Just because I do does not mean I can without mention Oh once again Invisible disease Nobody sees you kind of thing When someone want to give me a hug I just cringe This is me I do not have the strength to hold my head upright without it feeling like it were on a toothpick A compromised toothpick Get it I need to lay it down And being in bed until the medicines take over some of my pain do I can do what I want to without thought I cannot look up at one for to long it begins to hurt Everything just hurts Time to go to a pulmonary doctor And cardiologist Hands and feet still the same Hardware becoming uncomfortable upon swallowing Don't know what's going on with the thyroglossal duct cyst in my pivotal site of surgery level 5/6-6/7 was where plate screws and cage are My cyst was active and could have been removed when having first surgery It has been growing over the years and am wondering is this why I am not able to wear my soft collars I miss them so much Some very small things such as this bothers me when a doctor just pushes aside what is there a growing cyst That was explained to be cancer causing It happened during my time in my mothers womb First trimester Refers to some as a second set of tonsils Point S o m e t h i n g I s G o i n g O n Now what is it Please it is not in my kind You can visually watch it happen From the start and that be piercing pain then the rest is history including Video of it happening Part of this belongs in "blessings" So why did I come here and ask to be reminded of my blessings I forget with the pain overriding ALL I FORGET ALL EVERY MORNING A FIGHT ONLY YOU KNOW FATHER TO TELL YOU I DON'T WANT TO FEEL ANYMORE IS ONLY UNDERSTOOD BY KNOWING MY HEART I come to you many times in the day Bless my family with better health They have their own crosses to carry Lift the pain so I can see my everyday blessings Thank you for what you feed me today Love Me
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02-03-2016, 01:48 PM | #240 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Who the f gives a crap
Spoke to therapist He too has is speechless Speechless He did not have any comforting things to tell me I in turn asked him to please help me through this It's been six years of therapy I need his help And I told him so I also told him it is my granddaughter is the only one who get to enjoy a person who has much experience under my belt Also raising to other children I watched One was still in mommies belly his name is Zachary The other child name is Gabriella From birth to around ten for her and twelve for Zack So for him to say Eva needs me Eva gets the bet from this grown mature loving her like I never imagined possible She loves me so much And wants to please me in so many ways And that is being praised rewarded for doing and asking to get the response she is hoping for She asks questions like no other child She truly is the one who gets the best out of this human Did the same with my other children But it is different Anyone who has followed me would know what's important to me and to not be a unit or a chance of it is just something I have to stop reaching for I'm killing myself Truly killing myself trying to keep this small family together I have to let it go And for anyone who walks in my shoes understand how hard it is to do It be like a death in the family Mass suicide Vicious Just like my father Vicious words back and forth between siblings And it be my fault Okay what fault are we talking about I'm in the dark Yet my shrink did say What is left IS suffering And no it isn't okay for my children to behave as they are So really what the F After I help guide my youngest and will be returning to a two year schooling program where she will get her diploma It will be full time night school And then get my granddaughter into the schools of the town I just moved from after forty six years You sense it I miss my hometown something awful Lost I feel here Terribly lost All acquaintances just that Memories The friends I thought were decent human beings and to learn thirty years of jealousy A rape leaving me with someone that had their way with me We all worked together To see the lies unfold with the most unbelievable things that are coming to past Friends I thought I had on one hand That to bull turd Am I that different from the rest of others Would I change who I am today No I worked long and hard to get to where I am Only now it runs I to my family My unit My lineage Damaged we are It is smaller then ever I am crushed It is not a celebration for me anymore I put on the face not even good at that for Cory and Eva It is not their job to make me smile They have no clue how it brightens my heart I help them understand it has zero to do with them And it drives me nuts at how sick I am I have me myself and I Corissa helps greatly It frightens me what's down the road Things are happening I am lost Me
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