being on this site
my gutt feeling of doom is gone
i have a better frame of mind
i feel less tense
my muscles relaxing much easier
when conscious of the madness
with the weather getting better
i will return to my home group meeting
Sunday morning 9:00 A.M.
i miss it
and have so much to offer on addiction
and i MISS MY DOG with all my being
i wish someone could bring him to me
i have not cried since the good feeling came over me
i interpret this as a miracle
the love of my dog
is so deep
i am in tears thinking of him
but i will always be part of this site
my friends who suffer
i will come to
me

Well to say that sad things don't happen
Is like saying
The sun never shines

I want to share now the kind of feeling
I am experiencing since adding some very
vital missing nutrients in my body that has made
Unbelievable changes for the better
Never would I have thought
Having a very healthy diet
How missing FOLATE (not the same as folic acid)
Made such a huge difference

That made me wonder
Why can't this be taught in Heath class
The importance of nutrients could be ROOT CAUSES of many
problems

So many people do not understand what the first sign is inflammation
Most time the area is ANGRY

How I try to express the idea to watch for inflammation

Example
If one were to accidentally cut their finger while cooking
What is the first sign that the cut IS NOT HEALING PROPERLY
it is red angry and SWOLLEN
If left unkept
One could die from sepsis

So I would implore anyone who just is not doing well

Not to give up
Find a doctor who will leave NO STONE UNTURNED
I haven't found one myself
I was ready to go to my daughters doctor
He knew of the importance of getting my addict daughter
to get the nutrient in her body
As she to tested positive for the MTHFR mutation
There is a very good chance she too will experience a feel good brain
No FOGGINESS
Giving her a better chance to have a better frame of mind
trying to kick her deadly addiction

If she gets just half the results I do
She has a fighting chance
to be free of addiction

A long shot
But I'll keep praying for
the best
She has been suffering close to two decades now

There is a young fellow who I follow
Am just in awe at his persistence
Just in awe
He too will find the root

I wish people could pay closer attention to their bodies
as it talks to us
Such as I felt and knew there was something underlying going on
when having ceverical neck surgeries and found my cancer
And I have to say
NONE OF MY DOCTORS WERE PAYING ATTENTION OR LISTENING TO ME for that matter
So for this cookie
I DO NOT TRUST ANYONE WITH MY BODY
I am not a test subject
I was let down over and over again
until I took charge

I fired my shrink it is the second time now
And he calls wanting to send me samples and copies of
the two (not one) as the insurance company sent him to fill out
This I am looking forward to seeing the truth
As I spoke with a worker of my health insurance Richard
who explained to me that a single sheet was faxed
And a few questions needed to be filled out by him
REASON FOR THE FIRE:
"(It was tedious and he felt it was a doubious thought)"
We shall see
We shall see

To those still suffering the deep depression
When in the abyss of it all
I hope will find it lift from their lives
Don't give in and give up
You MATTER
as is the state of ones
MIND

I know abnormal behavior
I know seasonal and physical depression
I know what it was like PMS-ing when I had my menses
I know hormonal depression
I know suicidal depression
I know addiction (alcohol abuse)
I know physician induced medication that makes us slaves to them for I suffer immense pain due to many sad things
(A body slowly rotting)
As when we are babies we get to a plateau
When the body begins to become closer to the earth
Death emanate

Yet we can be proactive
And slow the clock down
And get a better quality of life
And say
I am going to
LIVE BEFOR I DIE

I hope my sharing is uplifting
I know
Love
Me

thank you for your inspiring words eva. i needed something to get me to try to make the most out of my day today too. i am feeling a bit more depressed then usual today and you helped lift my spirits. i hope that your daughter starts to heal and that you do too. i am going to try to live until i die too! life is too short to waste on tears. thank you again for being such a beautiful soul. love and hugs.

Eva, keep talking about your Folate miracle. Folate is not taught in medical schools. Pharma drugs are taught there for the most part, never being in medical school I can only imagine. Pathetically but true, doctors need people to be sick.

Those reading your info, can get on MFolate on their own. It's for sale otc everywhere. I take a much lower dose than you and no gloom doom in my mind. C

The weather is gloomy
Yet I am not visited by doom
My gut is rid for a little bit of time now
Something I welcome
The weather is crushing my head bones
all over
But this I understand
My withdrawal symptoms very much alive
I still in awe at everything
Yesterday on the phone
a passionate conversation
Had still a half hour to go for afternoon meds
this is when my second dose of Xanax is
I was walking around the house when in conversation
I had to sit and pay very close attention to my breathing
I did not feel well
My chest heavy pounding heart arrhythmia
very scary
As I feel ju the have dose take affect on my body father then brain
How screwed up is that
I need the blanking thing more fore my body reacting to the decrease
I have a good sense of self once it is in my system
It is going to take a long time getting it out of my body
In awe how that horrible feeling I would carry around with me
all day is lifted
I still think about my shrink
and his phone message left after I fired him
He failed me
Failed me
And he knows it
He was suppose to help me get better and feel better
Instead he did not care
How can a doctor this is not just my first experience but so many that I have seen since becoming ill with my spine
My neck was crushed
I had no choice according to two doctors I needed surgery
Oh what I would do to take it back
So many failed me
Blatantly for that matter
My breast reconstructive doctor had his partner come in
and show him what a good job he had done
A. I am larger than I was originally
My breasts were large B small C
They are a large D
My left side was the reason for my visit to his office
because only two years latter being sent back to him by
Oncologist it clearly was defective
Oh god and how he tried to sell me his bull crap

I am so disappointed in all doctors of my past
So glad to have fired them
My surgeon
I know I am on his mind
That's if his ego is as big as I know it is
I know I am branded in his brain
I know my words ring in his ear

I do not go to bed with him at night
And I no longer wake up with him on my mind
He does not consume my brain

Taking the missing folate
Gave me a sense of rebirth
A life
A life with much adversities
But can push forward with it in a better frame of mind
How did this happen
I can say with complete confidence I did the work myself after the finding did extensive research and have been feeling 99.999% better
I kid you not
I would never do that
FOR ME IT TOOK "FOLATE"
after finding the mutation
I have changed just a few simple things
And got dramatic physical most importantly a feel of mental well being
And if I told you all how quickly I had begun to feel the change
You wouldn't believe it
Or think i to be psychosomatic in it all
I tell you not
To myself I am true
To my friends I want to share the good stuff for a change
It is springtime
The air and sun giving that good feel stuff
May you all find the root of what I understand as deep depression
is taken seriously by doctors
I want those to get the same benefit from just a small thing such as introducing folate into my body and it feels GOOD
WHY WOULD I NOT SHARE IT WITH OTHERS
it may have been something that simple
Yet for me
LIFE-CHANGING
take care of
YOU
love
Me

Addiction
Not in a good place
Excuses
Excuses
She too does not fight me anymore
Sadly
So sadly
To see my child not do well health wise
Head wise
Not fighting the fight she needs to SEE
understand that she controls herself and choices she makes
She is a intelligent woman
Lost
So lost
Every once in a while
A snippet of clarity
And tries and tries
Until she commits to a meeting every single day
She will never know freedom
For excuses
Excuses
Are the matter
So sad
So sad
My baby
Is changed forever
Me

hi eva. i'm so sorry that your daughter is still struggling. and i am so sorry that you have to see her struggle and feel so helpless. i feel everything you expressed in your words. its is very painful to see a loved one struggle with addiction. my brother is not doing well and i fear getting worse. he has snippets of clarity too but only for a brief moment and then it is gone again. all i can do is pray he will find his way back to the man i once knew. i will pray that your daughter will find her way back to the woman you once knew too. love and hugs to you my friend. i hope you know you are not alone. i am always here if you need a friend who understands and cares.

your outpour
and bottom line to it all
is the painful truth
we are helpless in this time
and all we can do is pray
and i know you are always ready as i will be for you
hang on together
many good thoughts your way
take care of You
God will take care of the rest
as i am a believer
in Jesus i Trust
in humanity i am a worker for my Father
to be wherever i am needed
i will be there
Amen
love
me

my dearest Eva, i am so grateful for the kindness and support i have found from you and everyone here at NT. i don't know what i would do without you to lean on and talk to when things get too tough to deal with on my own. and i hope you always know i am always here for you too. i read somewhere to "Let Go and Let God." i am going to do that now with my brother because i don't feel like i can help him anymore. i pray he will ask me for help someday soon and get better. and i pray that your daughter will too. until then, i am so glad i have you to lean on because this is so very painful and too hard to endure all alone. thank you again for caring so much and for being there. i understand and care too and i always will. love, hugs and prayers.

I say a prayer for all who have that someone like us
Who will be there when that time comes
Sooner than later would be wonderful
Yet the road they travel will need us
to be around when ready
He knows you love him
This I am certain of
As my daughter has now seen
No more nonsense with mommy
I don't want to loose her
She knows that
And how real that could be if she does not stop
I know where you are
And I am glad I am able to be here for you
Always
Your friend
Sweet dreams
As I retire with prayer
Love
Me