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-   -   i don't want to feel anymore (https://www.neurotalk.org/depression/213593-dont-feel-anymore.html)

eva5667faliure 12-28-2014 09:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EnglishDave (Post 1115028)
In this World I believe there is someone for everyone. For a Soul as loving as yours there is someone special. Perhaps they are already in your life, perhaps they will come tomorrow - but they will come.
Take time for your Good Self, you are worth more than you know.
Dave.

you lift me up
me

ger715 12-29-2014 12:45 AM

Debi,
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by St George 2013 (Post 1114893)
Sweet Eva....first time I've been on since I wrote to you. 4 days of steroids have helped me very much but I know it won't last. I'll take these few days and enjoy them and pray the bad days stay away for awhile.

I'm Grammy to my grandchildren...ages 8 to 17. My son lost his way in June but found us again this month. He had to find his way back by himself. Nothing I could do for him at that point. Finally stood up for myself for the first time ever with either of my kids. After what I've been through I realized I have to protect myself, my sanity, my happiness.

I think of you often and hope you get relief.

Your daughter is an amazing woman ! I know you are so proud of her.

And yes, I have a 'someone' to talk to. I also have a wonderful daughter that listens to me, cooks for me and is who I rely on for almost everything. She has strong shoulders that girl of mine.

Take care and know I'm thinking of you sweet Lady :)

Debi from Georgia


I am so happy to learn your son is back. That had to been so difficult; but you were wise to leave it to him to find his way back. Wishing more good things will come your way in 2015.


Gerry

eva5667faliure 01-04-2015 03:02 PM

how important our hands are
 
the pain so bad last night
my hands i speak of
was unbearable
the water works not making
anything feel better
a reminder of my decline
something i don't want to know
i am dropping most everything
eventually
in my day i'd say 50 drops of
whatever might be in my hands
eventually falls
i could take meds such as Lyrica
it was one of several we tried for my neurological
damage and problems with the side effects
deadly
blisters in my mouth heart palpation
and i do remember my hands and feet
were pain free magic number was 4 tablets
i forget how many mg
i will not experiment anymore
and to read all the problems
people have coming off the drug
i'm glad my body did not have a chance
to become a necessary intake for being on it
for that amount of time
my choice
hence my pain
as i clearly understand i have two independent
things going on
mechanical and neurological
unable to take meds for neurological
cannabis Does help with the burning or cold
but mostly the pain so bad i am itching my hands and feet
so for whatever it's worth i can only do such when available
so many things screwed up
just keep going on
though depression has set in
and has made itself at home in my brain
most know how i type
with an pencil eraser head
my hands
me

EnglishDave 01-04-2015 07:16 PM

It's not your hands that make you drop,
But gravity playing her cruel tricks
As she does when she takes my legs away.

Our medications give us hope,
Then savagely take away -
The side effects causing more pain.

Typing with pencil end, as I type one-fingered,
Sight double and blurred, deleting -
Yet still making the Connection.

The natural Weed brings the relief
That chemicals fail to provide.
God, in His Infinite Wisdom.

Depression in the mind, of the mind,
Fought by love of Grandchildren,
Family, friends - The Lord.

eva5667faliure 01-05-2015 01:28 AM

precious
me

ger715 01-05-2015 12:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eva5667faliure (Post 1116285)
the pain so bad last night
my hands i speak of
was unbearable
the water works not making
anything feel better
a reminder of my decline
something i don't want to know
i am dropping most everything
eventually
in my day i'd say 50 drops of
whatever might be in my hands
eventually falls
i could take meds such as Lyrica
it was one of several we tried for my neurological
damage and problems with the side effects
deadly
blisters in my mouth heart palpation
and i do remember my hands and feet
were pain free magic number was 4 tablets
i forget how many mg
i will not experiment anymore
and to read all the problems
people have coming off the drug
i'm glad my body did not have a chance
to become a necessary intake for being on it
for that amount of time
my choice
hence my pain
as i clearly understand i have two independent
things going on
mechanical and neurological
unable to take meds for neurological
cannabis Does help with the burning or cold
but mostly the pain so bad i am itching my hands and feet
so for whatever it's worth i can only do such when available
so many things screwed up
just keep going on
though depression has set in
and has made itself at home in my brain
most know how i type
with an pencil eraser head
my hands
me


Eva,
I well remember the side effects of Lyrica. I was on for it a few weeks. Felt like ants were crawling up and down my legs. I needed off and off I did . As you say, reading all the problems dealing with getting off the Lyrica, I am glad I didn't stay on for long either.

So sorry you are dealing with this awful depression. So many of our meds side effects are "depression". With having to accept the inability to function as previously; it is a prescription for depression worsening.

Love & Prayers,

Gerry

eva5667faliure 01-07-2015 11:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ger715 (Post 1116506)
Eva,
I well remember the side effects of Lyrica. I was on for it a few weeks. Felt like ants were crawling up and down my legs. I needed off and off I did . As you say, reading all the problems dealing with getting off the Lyrica, I am glad I didn't stay on for long either.

So sorry you are dealing with this awful depression. So many of our meds side effects are "depression". With having to accept the inability to function as previously; it is a prescription for depression worsening.

Love & Prayers,

Gerry

as i know you know it
thank you for being here for me
know you have saved me at times
a wise woman

eva5667faliure 02-04-2015 02:32 AM

it has a hold on me
the most depressing birthday ever
another year
big deal
though this pain
this pain
is the one that never leaves
me

EnglishDave 02-04-2015 12:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eva5667faliure (Post 1122077)
it has a hold on me
the most depressing birthday ever
another year
big deal
though this pain
this pain
is the one that never leaves
me

On 'Special' Days

The Pain bites harder,
The Mood grows darker,
The World is Hateful.

My Thoughts come warmer,
My Love grows stronger,
The World is Mellow.

Dave.

ger715 02-04-2015 09:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eva5667faliure (Post 1122077)
it has a hold on me
the most depressing birthday ever
another year
big deal
though this pain
this pain
is the one that never leaves
me


Eva,

I do agree the 24/7 pain is a constant uninvited interference in our lives. Before bedtime, I pray not to fear starting a new day. I realized fear was one of my biggest enemies. Just knowing what awaits; the spine pain, along with the heavy pailful legs; but the worst is the burning ankles and feet making walking; even with a cane quite unsteady and difficult. Unfortunately when I anticipate the pain; fear take over and it becomes even worse.

Again; one day at a time; hoping for a little laughter. Eva; you remember the "belly" laugh. How often you would include that in your sign off; Praying you will once again experience the laughter.



Gerry


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