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10-05-2016, 10:13 AM | #381 | |||
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Elder
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Eva, I think that sometimes people view those with medical and mental health challenges as needy or weak. In fact, it's often the opposite. Life has conditioned us to absorb many more blows than those who have been lucky. The same applies to the other difficulties we have faced in life. But that doesn't mean that it's always smooth ride.
I've had my share of problems with doctors. My PCP tells me not to be so judgmental… that I expect too much, but I expect compassionate and competent care, and I don't think that's asking too much. I take so many meds for bipolar disorder, I don't take anything to treat my MS or its symptoms anymore. I've decided I'm just going to suck it all up because I don't want to be zombified, and I need the psych meds to work more than I need to be comfortable. I'm so sorry that you are feeling so lonely… I think that your children are old enough that your obligation to stay alone is over. Your relationship with your granddaughter is different. She has in no way been effected by your drinking, so you do not need to unnecessarily punish yourself on her behalf. You deserve to have a life of your own I am still with my husband, although we separated for 3 months in 2014. Even though there were already major problems in our marriage, the separation was mainly due to my inability to control my bipolar disorder and drinking. My husband is an alcoholic, but I have been sober since July 2015. Kay |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | bizi (10-05-2016), bluesfan (05-25-2017), DMACK (12-21-2016), eva5667faliure (10-05-2016), PamelaJune (10-05-2016), PurpleFoot721 (10-09-2016), St George 2013 (10-14-2016) |
10-05-2016, 04:49 PM | #382 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Hoping it will pass soon
Done Me
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someone who cares eva |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | PamelaJune (10-05-2016) |
10-06-2016, 12:31 PM | #383 | |||
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Senior Member
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In the Arms of the Angel Sarah McLachlan Lyrics - YouTube
Life is out there my dear friend....you talk a lot about faith Now ask...and you will receive Take time out to love you...cherish you..understand the inner you...... You have faith....use it Your a good soul...open it up to the world David
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Take care of YOU . |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | eva5667faliure (10-06-2016), OhKay (10-07-2016), PurpleFoot721 (10-09-2016), St George 2013 (10-14-2016) |
10-08-2016, 09:22 AM | #384 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Something I would do in a hop skip a jump
No problem Your hungry I make you breakfast My child got up to turn on the TV for her But I get up and put up a cup of coffee to start my day Sure ill make you breakfast Yeah you read right Got up to turn the TV for her This is what I'm talking about The helwhat help I have to beg I have to just shut up and do what I must Till I just wont let her get the better of me and am forced to do it Anymore I have to swallow How give a S*** about her little tummy And the rotten Who I think I am attitude I get her and it is not okay to dump on me because she knows I will never walk away It's me Me What I allow into my life It hurts anyway you look at it but one for certain Pick something follow through You want to be treated like a grow up That the attitude On a specific day Her eighteenth birthday Alone And am not sure why she wanted to come back home because she knows the relationship is a job it is give and take Not just take take take And when I need them most Nowhere to be helpful for me The things they could do like food shopping My baby sister called and said she would pick up Corissa and take her help her and bring her home She is still sleeping My granddaughter already made up a full two pages of tic tac toe Getting off to make up a list As she sleeps next to me To lazy to wash her bedding Oh I need to top up on the card She will ask to get her nails done But not to top up Done Me
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someone who cares eva |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | PamelaJune (10-08-2016), PurpleFoot721 (10-14-2016) |
10-09-2016, 08:18 AM | #385 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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There is no reason I should have all the responsibility put on me
OCD blessing in some cases in my case Itpushes me when I just don't have it and I push and push and push out something else that needed tending to I have a good heart A kind heart A compassionate heart and it is just gets crushed trampled on manipulated right under my nose And I don't even smell it Everybody gets together today Me and baby are staying home She needs to get well before school starts again Tuesday I have given up completely on any one who calls me their friend In my case There is no case And that's that I will continue to be a good kind person despite the way of the world That includes my babies It is me Myself and I I will continue to be the best I can ever be And that all I can do There is one other very important quality I should considered and be truthful in all I do Never at the expense of others Never Let me strengthen with evil of all kinds trying to cast out the goodness in my heart and mind Keeping my FAITH strong now and forever never to wavier Never Keep my Holy Spirit alive in me And let it wash over my family Keep us strong In Jesus I trust In God I believe Amen
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someone who cares eva |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | PamelaJune (10-10-2016), PurpleFoot721 (10-14-2016) |
10-12-2016, 07:18 AM | #386 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Help me let it go
All that it stuff All of it I am just a tiny spec if that compared to the entire world we call earth As the days pass bye Day in Day out Until what The end There hasn't been anything like what we as a community who suffer chronic pain at the end of the day This is where my life turned and had but only one way to get through all of it Is Hope There is such a promise HOPE for ALL of us Not giving up is the hard part unless we submit and TRULY let IT go and submit And not feel bad Grace me with you love I don't want to feel anything other then YOUR love YOUR grace YOUR promise In Jesus I trust In God i believe Love Me
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someone who cares eva |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | PamelaJune (10-13-2016), PurpleFoot721 (10-14-2016) |
10-13-2016, 07:45 AM | #387 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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How time just passes on by
Never to return Holding on to your memories So much time in sorrow Just when I think I have it Something else comes along and gives me a different perspective To have had to be receptive in order to get them thoughts I was always and still am in protective mode Ready to do whatever I have conviction towards a happier way to be Why should anybody be unhappy Why would anybody thrill over the idea that someone is unhappy and you know it and do absolutely nothing about it What a terrible thought but true I can't imagine why someone would intentionally awaken me at 1:00 A.M. in the morning Really I kid you not I am not making this stuff up To be up at 6:00 to tend to my granddaughter Oh Heavenly Father Let me stop this horrible thought to consume me Allow me the simple joys you have for me in my day My last baby is working Enjoying it She did it She really did it So proud of her She is so grateful mom is in her life And I love her so much Doing all I can to help her on her travels She likes it That's awesome stuff Wouldn't it be a beautiful thing if my daughter behaved like a mother Eva hasn't heard from her mom in days I put a sweater her mom got her Really cute Furry and fleece like insides A hood with white faux fur around the hood Says "I wish mommy can see me in my sweater" Crushed Last picture mom posted shows she is a bleached blond Nails done up looking clearly doing her best taking care of herself Not a peep about her daughter Why won't she call Nobody stops her No excuse Yeah leaves changing color Knees hurt from changes in the weather Have no control over that doctors suggested to move to dry warm climate weather Maybe if I hit the lottery Don't need all of it just some would make things so much easier Have our own home Have just the necessities without trouble getting it To be lifted from the financial burden of it all When I was working We were making it we had the opportunity to go to the movies To have to let my hair grow because I cannot do it anymore I would have Saraeve or Corissa cut a simple cut But cannot count on that forever The changes I had to make when I got sick Someone who had her hair cut every six weeks The one thing that made me feel good Had my kids then keep a simple cut Now just letting it grow And I can throw it up Done Don't bother anybody that way To be screwed out of Fighting it Something is very fishy Waiting to hear from the pension dept The "early disibility retirement" because of terminology I have not stopped Still have a month it could take up to six months To have once had a friend coworker Not give me the informations of the person who helped her with the process Her excuse "You know how unorganized I am I'll look to it" That was a year ago Someone I helped on many levels Could count on me whenever she asked me for help with anything To have a name and number of a human being not the automated system and wait time a half hour Is she nuts She's nuts This from my pension It would be such help I have declined on so many levels So many levels I have given everything away My choices have hurt me in the end But you see I had no choice Not when you have babies who depend on at least on parent Me Now give up my haircut It s.u.c.k.s Me
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someone who cares eva Last edited by eva5667faliure; 10-14-2016 at 05:10 AM. |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | PurpleFoot721 (10-14-2016) |
10-14-2016, 05:04 AM | #388 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Sick again
Running into my room at 5:30 Sick Ill be damned Now vomit She only started to get better two days ago Corissa comes running in after her Asks why did she run in my room for me Having to explain I'm her everything Reminded her when she was a baby and younger Even now It never stops Never Looks like a rough day ahead She is calm now but not well Upsetting She is missing school Some children are not kept home when sick I vicious cycle Went through it already There is a terrible viral bug going around She just got over a nasty cold Me
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someone who cares eva |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | PamelaJune (10-14-2016), PurpleFoot721 (10-14-2016) |
10-14-2016, 05:34 AM | #389 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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I shouldn't be fighting life
What a silly thing Having to fight No fighting anymore Just no fighting anymore Having Faith wavier in and out In and out As the breaths I take To live To have free will To choose to believe in a greater than power To believe in Jesus Christ To believe I have a purpose To believe I too matter To believe I too can be happy To believe in blind faith I am loved by Heavenly Father My purpose Hear my prayer In angels I believe To those who protect me From evil To not cry in my day Would be nice To have faith I can make it It is hard most times But I make it through the day And pray myself to sleep It is what it is I'm still needed Me
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someone who cares eva |
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10-19-2016, 07:26 AM | #390 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Have the Holy Spirit guiding me
Not to fight it but to welcome the strategies I must use and of to get through this day Having to get Eva off to school Getting in the shower Cleaning to shed off the stuff from day before A new day Push through it do Or just wait to die Oh the choices some have to make Gifted with a leaf Just for me Home from school A rustic deep auburn in color Beautiful in shape Almost perfect Symmetrically She's got it going on A good eye Ah Math She does enjoy it now Lets see Would love to fee a little love from my child Off from work Having a rough morning I don't get it In comparison to what I have done Beyond in my case And a look that would kill when I ask for help So We I will start my day over again Maybe record her when she speaks to me Like I have to record a disruptive ill person isn't enough Enough already Enough What to be in a good place So I give it to Jesus Christ And live Maybe get a belly laugh Have doctors appointment When isn't there one Sick of it But it the only way for now I pray for a miricles Health to heal With love in my heart Cannot loose the love in my heart Me
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someone who cares eva |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | PamelaJune (10-19-2016), PurpleFoot721 (10-22-2016) |
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