I am so sorry Eva. Warm hugs

Eva for a change do nothing and say nothing. See what happens as hopefully you get to become stronger, and in less pain. Nothing to loose much to gain xxx

She's in the hospital
 

Not to be released

She's in the hospital
 

Not to be released

My dear friend
You are in my head
It is my next try
What do I have to loose is on point
Tomorrow I go to pain specialist
Someone has to figure out what's going on with my hands and feet
The artary swells then vines fill burst and bruises
Not to mention the pain is piercing when it happpens
It's like they belong in a horror film

Praying that your doctor visit goes well and that you find some pain relief soon. Hugs to you my friend.

And my eldest
 

Is due to have surgery
After an occipital lobotomy no success
A VNS implant no success
And now to hear through the grapevine will now have what is called RandS
THIS JUST CRUSHED THE CRAP OUT OF ME
to have gone through every step and been at her side
19 days our last stay having the labotomy
And for this to be kept from me
Just f-in shoot me
How do I get this out of my system
On Heavenly Father I hang
Jeez to much to take in
Just to much
Had a seizure yesterday how bad was it don't know
This from a daughter who says
"She misses her mommy"
Really
How much is that
Really
Broken in every way
Everyway
And let's not forget
Another in the hospital
Tried to kill herself again
Me

Oh my goodnees Eva life is doling out more than lemons. There are no sufficient words, please see my felt heart, I take it everywhere i go now. Life surely must begin to ease for you soon, you can't carry on like this ❤️

And I understand
 

I think to myself
First thank you for what I'm about to receive in my day
The only thing that matters is
at the end of the day
I did the best I could
Starting the morning meditation
Reading the WORD
I tell no lies
I open randomly
And there it is
Heavenly Father talking
It truly is exactly what I would need to hear
For the only two who know it to be the truth is I and Heavenly Father
I am heard
And to find I am in a place where I am understood
Or just a prayer
Or thinking of you is more than one could know how important it is when we become so sick we are a burden or dragging them down away from what else it is they could be doing
I still do so much as it had to be done
And I'm tired of asking or beg
Nope will not do that
So at the end of the day I tried my very best
Will carry my cross
God bless you
Amen
And thank you for the comfy pillow
Love
Me

I do not understand
 

Why released so soon and there be no buddy system
Someone assigned to them to go to their home drug test them
Have to be working or go to school like my youngest
I cannot get through the adult school
A job I would hope
Or learn how to drive the car
I am told by the child who just tried to kill herself and leave a message to Corissa my youngest
To tell her daughter
"I Love her"
I M so fin angry I want to shake the crap out of her
Then to tell me because she is home as if nothing already
Can see no changes just missing mommy
I have some work to do hoping I can get her to start
Somewhere
A n I'm ordered to her exact words
"I hope you come down on her like you just came done in me"
That be knock it off
Knock it off and get you crap together
And be a mother you say you want to be but pull this turd over and over again
Cause you say I can't do it
There is NO I CANT
one either goes or doesn't
Like my youngest
She can be on her phone with all the social friends
But not school
So I will get all info hand it to her and if she doesn't do anything with it
The part time job she's getting ASAP
WILL BECOME FULL TIME
BUT YO BE ORDERED
I ant to punch the turd out of her
Went to the doctor yesterday
I need a vascular doctor
Nothing he can do
Money spent I needed
As I'm taking away from money for my meds
Done
Me