It's become a horrid world, it's cruel, unkind and uncaring. Empathy and sympathy has been eroded and surpassed by arrogance, ignorance and selfishness. Lucifer has forsaken Agamemnon. Is this punishment we endure his retaliation upon the world growing in strength & failing to grasp why Michael did cast him out.

My granddaughters mother takes my meds
Having this happen and added to a plate on overload
I am beside myself
Cannot believe that she do that
But again an active addict will do anything even when things are happening
Once again I am put in a horrible situation
Giving her all the time and space to tell me the truth
She tells me not to be upset as my pressure is not stable
I told her I'm not upset
I'm disappointed at her especially at the reason I'm in the hospital
Heartbreak is all I can say
Me

Eva,
I felt her inner beauty speaking with her; she has so much to offer. The one thing that really touched me immensely was when she told me "thank you for being my mother's friend. She was only about 14 or 15 or thereabout; she loves you very much. She is "special"; she does have to believe that herself.
She knows and I know, you will never give up on her.

As always,
Love & Prayers,
Gerry

I will be the one to take and pick Eva up
All on deck abandoned ship
I so tired so sick
Just sick and tired
The entire family abandoned us
Mother was to take her
And Corissa was to pick her up
And I had to do EVERYTHING
THEN SO BE IT
I'll do it till I drop
I can't even talk about my family
It's like
What family
Me

I was just run over
Someone please help
I cannot believe how things have turned from one day to the next
Just run over by a truck
How much longer
Before I just drop
I can't ev n get proper sleep
Me

Eva, are you in hospital! What happened was little Eva with you. Pray you are ok
Sadly many young mums of today are not interested in their children's education. It would appear your daughter is one of those, my niece too, I called in yesterday morning, the 8yr & 5yr old both at home, mum in bed at 9.45am. Forgot to get up & get kids ready. Blathered on she was ill as were they, no sign of illness. Just sleep. Front door unlocked, I just walked in, the 7yr old up watching TV & playing games. It's not unique Eva, not unique. 14yr old had got himself ready & gone to school. I had checked the messenger history at 8am when I sent her a msg asking if she will be home, it tells you when the person was last active, she had been active 5 hrs previously. So was up at 3am, that's why the boys not in school!! Makes me angry, they are such smart little boys. This a girl, I was her legal guardian, she lived with me and DB on & off many years. She never missed school on our watch.

Please let us know how you are as soon as you're able xxx

Wanting to keep me another day
Couldn't do I as heart was on the surface cleared
Nitroglycerin several times
My pressure still not stable
And yes I take very seriously
If you only knew the entire picture
She cried and cried for me

I just couldn't anymore
I do not have to explain she the few doctors
Who ask the question
BUT ARENT LISTENING
AND FOR A DOCTOR TO ASK WHAT ONE OF THE GENERIC MEDS IM ON zenflex A muscle relaxer turn to the the nurse and ask what is this one
Ran anger up and down my broken spine
I must see several doctors
Have a nuclear stress
My LDL not good on meds for that now
I do not have an appetite and when I do eat I eat healthy
My meds were not given at the time needed and having to go through withdrawals I do not think I need to explain
It drives me nuts when all aren't on the same page and when I ask questions they become annoyed

Then as this all happened on the first day of school and having been admitted Eva missed second da thankfully it was a Friday
Then we come to Monday having that meeting with those who were suppose to help mom and corissa both failed mom to take her and Corissa to pick her up
Never happened
And because having been separated for the first time from me
I her everything someone she knows who is always there not to have any worries have told both my adult children
Shame on you both to put a innocent child who came into this world and have any worries is never ever going to happen
I told them I will be taking and picking her up no matter how hard it is
Her calm and happiness is what I am concerned about
So yes my friend I'm home
Struggling
May my Heavenly Father ease my pain
I pray your life to can get stable
I know you know exactly what I we are going through
Where is the compassion
Where is the love

On a good note
She is enjoying herself in school
And loves the live notes I put in her lunch box
She too is special
So special
With all my love to you dear friend
And the the ones who know my story
I apologize for not writing
But know I pray for you all
Just to know I am heard and not alone
Love
Me

Has come to a halt

There may be something in that Eva, take stock and live in the moment or the now as some would say. Worry not over the future or what is round the corner, just breathe and live with what you have. I know for you it's a rucksack full of pebbles and I'm so very sorry for that. So moving forward at some stage does need to pause, use the pause to empty your rucksack somewhat. We are here, live, pm, on screen, whatever works to help unburden some of the load you carry.

Behind my back
For years I would ask my child
Please return to school
Get your diploma
Texting calling with no respons
And I find out
She is following the money her father continues to feed her
It is so much bigger all the work I have put into laying a foundation for her
And I found out that she was with her father taking her to school to register
He himself I found out much later
An illiterate
Though when it comes to money and his business flooring
All cash
We do understand why
Distant we are
But the truth hurts and sad when she too follows the money
May she find herself
But I cannot lie
How it went down is affecting me on so many levels
Corissa is gay
But now living with a young man who lives with his mother
This makes her father so very happy
As he never accepted her as a lesbian
So to please him for the sake of money
And not be true to herself as we spoke about it many times in detail
Tells me mom I've tried I am a lesbian
Back with the same boy
As he is so immature
Will not wear a condom
Do I need to say anymore
I pray as her health is compromised
And oh Lord to think a child could be a possibility
She is a sickle cell trait child
He Africa American prevalent in that culture
How do I let all of it go
I pray and pray and pray
Help me with this dear Father
Help me give it ALL to YOU
My will comes back in a cunning way
I know it
Way much
Way to much
I'm killing myself
With my will in the way
Cunning
Satan at his best
Me

Addiction
My child will not return calls or texts
I have blocked her for the first time
No contact
Why
Because I am not even worth the time
But as dad is now in the picture
I call you back it my dad
Okay
So be it