And she picked up
On her way with Son and a very good friend of mine
Who I picking them up and hitting a meeting
I couldn’t listen to her
Just couldn’t
Won’t turn my back
But I pray she take the Cotten out of her ears and shove them down her throat
I just couldn’t
It exactly like when a person is inebriated
And cannot
Should not speak with them
OMG

Isn't she supposed to be in a Christian rehab for 12 months? Sorry Eva, I'm so sick here, I'm finding it hard to keep track at times, bear with me please, not meant to cause you offences.

I'm sorry but not not sorry about your upstairs tenant, it's been too long in vining. I pray the next far more understanding of your needs and those around him /her.

To only have a positive mind
This I know
To watch you loved ones give up
And make all the excuses
And to think for one moment I must accept that
Will never happen
I have come so far in my sobriety
It has given me a new way of life
And I hope I can pass it on to them
Here on this plane
This planet
Was a man that taught goodness kindness compassion encouragement a way to take all that we go through a lesson
I must humble find the humility to understand addiction is a disease connected to evil ways
monetary possessions trump and to wake up and see the light
Is a road we all have to find and embrace it with Heavenly Father as our Savior
I know the seed has been planted
It must be watered
In the rooms I know the water flows
May my children have had that experience with my very special brother of the rooms
He and I connected
He was and still is instrumental in my life
He just celebrated his twenty
Shared that I was one of the few who who were the ones

Angry at herself
And calling off the hook
Not answering the phone
When will she stop
When will she leave me be

Yesterday relapsed
Today calling off the hook
Won’t take the calls she is mean
My son just text me to relay a message
She is in the hospital after a two day relapse
Is returning to the
Christian base rehabilitation facility that is a good distance away
Around a three hour ride
I will not entertain her mean side right now
I cannot be a part of it
I will not be her reason to relapse
I will not be her excuse
No more
And she is having a hard time
No good byes
Just letting her go and let her figure it out
I cannot be her excuse
It just couldn’t have been more crazy
But it is
Me

Like I’m loosing my mind
How much more do I have to endure
Heavenly Father
How much more
I don’t want to feel anything anymore
I don’t want to go back and get stuck in this crazy life anymore
And she did not want to go back
I fear the unknown
Trust in you Heavenly Father I must
I’m loosing my mind
Me

And I am not allowing myself to be vacuumed into it all
I have but myself to take care of that will allow me to take care of my grandchild
A job that is my priority right now
I must make some doctors appointments after I see my oncologist and pain specialists
I will take care of me help or no help
Me and Eva had a project to do
And we got through it
She is picking up the Hungarian language
And loves it
We had some small shopping to do
And I was speaking to her in Hungarian
She understood our conversation
In awe
I’m in love with her spiritual Love of Heavenly Father
We pray on our way to school and before we retire for Be
Depression still has its hold on me
But my meditation in the morning and throughout my day helps
But it lurks inside this broken body
Push push
Pushing through I must
Giving into my will shall not happen
All I can do is pray for my family
And hang on to Hope
Hope is what keeps me going
And to try and not complain
One moment at a time
In Jesus I trust
Hanging on with all my might
Mother did NOT return to the Christian rehabilitation center
May they all find God
Amen

I'm so sorry Eva, you know the sayings you can lead a horse to water but cannot make it drink. My understandings of sobriety of drugs is much the same they can be led somewhere and even admitted, but they can leave of their own free will any time they like, unless they've been committed under section 8 or serving a criminal sentence. Consequences of her actions not a lesson easily learned in this generation, nor our truly for that matter, I just think we had perhaps better manners.

DB told our young lodger after Saturday night he gets a call at 9.30, sobbing, can you come get me, I want to die. DB gets the address, chucks on clothes & goes there, lovely kind young man not using, waiting with her for DB to collect her. DB brings her home, a few tears, histrionics. DB says right, Aunty pam nearly died last night you know that, I've had enough, you've had too much to drink & you've done cones, A nods yes. 3. DB says ok then Bono can come inside & sleep with you, A - I won't sleep.... DB says yes you will he puts on meditation music, gets her a milo (chocolate drink) tells her to get changed while he makes up a makeshift bed for her, more tears, he says blankets can be washed. Let's Bono in, she finishes her milo, eyes flickering. DB tells Bono to get on bed with her, DB makes himself a tea, by time he's finished his A is out for the count. DB goes to bed, within 5 minutes he hears the pitternpatter of claws on wooden floorboards a big sigh as Bono plonks himself down on my side of the room, (he's missing me) DB has a quiet smile to himself we've all been there.

Next morning lodger A very embarrassed, DB says don't be, just understand I've got a lot on as well atm, while I can help you I will but AP needs us both to have our Shiite together right now so no more of this suicude talk after drinking & drugs. It's not you talking, it's the crud inside you. She sent him a lovely letter later thanking him and saying how much she appreciated the straight talk. He said good, I don't always talk straight often its just crap, but I'm here to help if I can we're in this together. A says I never heard Bono pittervpatter away & I've realised I can do these things, I'm stronger than I think I am.

Then They came to the hospital, she must have fallen over Saturday night, DB took her to Doctors n X-ray Monday, luckily just a badly bruised elbow. Still it's an improvement, she's gone from 20 cones a day to 15 to 10 to 5 & now 3. She will I think / hope make it, she desperately wants to be involved in the new dogs coming & misses playing with Toby as she used to. And we know no product in the house Toby will find it in an instant. Only downside will be if Bono or Brinson die, will hit her hard.

Why the need to use so much, surely once your stoned your stoned, I guess it's more like alcohol than I thought. Hope she makes it. Lucky she has met us while DB going through his training to be a sponsor & next step counsellor. Lucky indeed.. night all. It's 1.30am here, I'm agitated and in pain

You know exactly what happening
You are in it as well
Bless your loving spirit
And thanks for keeping an open mind
You know exactly what I am dealing with
May my gentle hug reach you
And comfort you
So sorry we are it all
But Heavenly Father has a job for us to do
And I for one understand how hard it can get
And when I get so down and leave it in his hands
Things begin to happen
You are awesome in everyway
May you get some love
Me

Hi again Eva. My hands are hurting so much with the cold weather now arriving but I wanted to let you know that I was thinking of you. I am sorry for what you've been going through but hope it helps to know you're not alone. I may not be here all the time but I do keep checking in on my friends. I learned the twelve step program to help me deal with my brothers addiction. It helped me learn to accept what I can't change and give all my worries to God to help ease my burden. No matter how hard or hopeless things may seem to me at the time I will always hold onto my Faith. I believe tha Faith will carry me through whatever storms may come my way because it already has in several instances. I believe that you will be carried through the stormy weather too and come out the other side into the sunshine again. Just keep believing and moving forward my friend. We will get through this together one day at a time. Love and Hugs and Prayers to you from me.