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12-11-2017, 08:22 AM | #651 | |||
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The video has gone viral, was on the news here as well. How cruel this world has become and then you see the light behind those who have the will and desire to help, this young man will be lifted up, his tears of sorrow I hope turn one day to joy. May he be blessed. Xxx
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12-12-2017, 07:50 AM | #652 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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The spirit of ones soul
The kind ness that comes from Those who look for no recognition What makes one think it’s okay to trample on ones thunder To strip them of who they were meant to become How dare their be parents who do not see That children are little human beings That they are truly the future of this world How is it that a certain gender gets away with taking from a child What no child should ever have to live And all my children raised without their father in their life And to be perfectly honest They aren’t anything Anything to brag about Horrible fathers Horrible I think would have done more harm than good Showing their true colors when they couldn’t have me for themselves anymore And they suffered the consequences If I should have chosen them again I would do what I did again all over Hard to understand where I’m coming from Trust me it’s way deep Since I can remember things when I was two I was able to tell a story And my mother tells me how young I was and I was able to tell her things in detail She was raped by my father And me and my sister were in the room Now I’m not doing the poor me thing But having to live through this horrible feeling and know it come from deep disparity The pain of yearning to have a relationship with a mother who just told her third child she was to be aborted Go figure And as the years go by I see my purpose And I can say I have done all that I could possibly do to try and protect them Only I couldn’t protect them from everything Not everything And they suffer gravely for their choices Baffled I am As I tell them If I have to pull through So do you That’s my answer to them They have no clue how far I have gone to try and protect them All I ask is to be respectful for they are hurting the one person who never abandon them In every decision I have made in my life Revolves around my children So I’m baffled At where they are in life Is mental disease so strong Having to watch my kids go through the choice they make And I think to myself When I was younger Why I did the things I did I consider myself a wise smart intriguing individual and told I am beautiful Something I do not see as looks are not what I look for in a being Sure I appreciate beauty But I think I’m understood Where does on get off and think it’s okay to crush ones dreams Dreams Oh the dreams Some I made reality All successful and short lived Jeez the books I could write Then I wonder to myself My broken body isn’t my concern anymore It is my serenity My happiness My mind To have a happy healthy mind And it is a work all my life in progress There are boogy men in the world Some of them could be a family member Always listen to the children Listen They are little people Have a mind that works on overload They want live and consistency To never be abandoned Ever Never did I walk away from my children I’m so tired of the blame game Yes I accept and am deeply sorry if I stripped you my children of anything you should have gone through just for the lesson no matter how much it would hurt Our experience as we grow into adulthood Into early senior life I make them understand I didn’t get to where I am without time Time can be a good tool for us who want to flourish into someone you begin to like This is my journey I don’t know why But I have Faith and Trust in You Jesus Christ Who died for me and you Thank you Heavenly Father for what I am to receive in my day In your name as I see clearly you are in front of me May this depressed feeling leave my mind and body In your name Amen Bless this world Amen
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someone who cares eva Last edited by eva5667faliure; 12-12-2017 at 08:13 AM. |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | PamelaJune (12-12-2017), RSD ME (12-19-2017) |
12-13-2017, 07:26 PM | #653 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Mom I haven’t eaten
Can you make me something to eat Made her two peanut butter sandwiches Applesauce Mac and cheese I am just heart broken How goes one to Heavenly Father when their children won’t tske care of themselves How How How Me And I just want to shake the s**t out of her How did it get like this Oh sweet Jesus What a sad hard place to watch Holding her loving her how am I suppose to be okay with this Enable many would think and say Others would understand I just am heartbroken what could happen She just has to do do do And pray Pray Heavenly Father Take care of her Take care of her
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someone who cares eva Last edited by eva5667faliure; 12-13-2017 at 09:38 PM. |
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12-14-2017, 08:52 AM | #654 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Not what I want to be feeling right now
But this is what’s going on It is not okay Is this how it ends How can this be okay She is 33 and fallen into the abyss She is not doing well Mentally she is burnt She needs love And she doesn’t feel it from me because I don’t want to enable But all I want to do is hold her And never let go It’s painful watching them not do as well as they should I’m scared for them May the world treat them with love May they find you in front back side to side May they be protected with your promises Oh Heavenly Father make them who they are to be Will call her and see how she is
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someone who cares eva |
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12-15-2017, 08:40 AM | #655 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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What happened to all of us
We were little a long time ago And are these giant grownup that have no clue We go through the motions of our daily routine What happened to all the hopes and dreams What happened to the spirit of Christ and his birth Did we forget Emanuel What is in the spirit of the Christmas holidays For me Family To want to be in each otherÂ’s company To WANT to be in otherÂ’s company It is here we IÂ’ll be a family We have each other that will have a part they have in this family A seat in their role as when they were born My fathers bitrhday it will be in another day ItÂ’s been 47 years since we had him live in our company CanÂ’t help but wonder what happened Why did he go So many unexplained questions that surface at certain times of the year My youngest all in her glory soon to be twenty Not a clue yet about where she is headed It b Needs to start ThatÂ’s all there is to that Start somewhere School a part time job Driving lessons I am so happy she is home Doing so much better health wise She hasnÂ’t gotten a uti or any problems in that neck of the woods I have been holding on Giving her the time and it is here She has a deadbeat father Does not a thing to help her in the proper way And it can be done It is a difficult thing to have to deal with but know I will not give up on her She will find her way And it starts with the support of ones family To have your family as your cheerleader She can do it And will do it I have hope that she will see There comes a time when I canÂ’t do it alone It is s very trrrible place And to watch your children not know how to lay s bill Or what it means when abody is feverish I have a way And with Eva here what better time to teach her as she said she would take care of her if my time come So just reality And it is tough Very tough Just to put someone else before self It isnÂ’t easy but so can be done I have hope I can help as she the one who had to go through the time her sister got high and they took the baby away She is still going through those feelings As it is a job to take care of another that is small and grows in ones care everyday The people she is dependent on I just want to cry It hurts so badly She is such a fun kid so smart Still not exposed to the outside world other then the kids in school And thatÂ’s not cool ThatÂ’s not what it was like when my kids were in school ItÂ’s my limitation And then a family that is scattered Terrible that mom and dad not allowed without sipervuson Where is the other grandmother They live with her Andbin the same time Eva is reserved not to want to be there She doesnÂ’t like it I never ever speak or ask what itÂ’s like when she is there I hoped it was fun Only to find out differently I am so torn up Into a thousand pieces Never to be put together again The pieces wouldnÂ’t fit It would have changed What can I say I wish nothing but happiness for my family Let the time together mean something And notbe unhealthy Let it be a good feel Let it have a good feel Please let the year strengthen them not to ever give up or give in You sll matter all Injesus name Amen
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someone who cares eva Last edited by eva5667faliure; 12-15-2017 at 09:46 AM. |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | PamelaJune (12-17-2017) |
12-16-2017, 08:31 AM | #656 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Took himself out at 47
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someone who cares eva |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | PamelaJune (12-17-2017) |
12-17-2017, 08:09 AM | #657 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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That yucky feeling one just wants to go back to sleep
Blank what is wrong What is wrong Having a horrible time not wanting to feel Just want it to pass Waiting waiting waiting For what I say to myself What do I have to wait for The sadness to pass It got me good I want it gone Be gone Right If it were that easy Be gone I really think I am affected by the weather It’s been like this since I got sick 8 years ago 8 years of my life Taken me under It stinks Stinks so badly Don’t know what to do with it I can’t take it anymore I don’t want it anymore I want it gone Forever gone It grabs me and won’t let go I don’t want to feel anymore I want not to feel anymore I have to work so hard to make this all find another home It can’t stay with me I can’t keep this up I don’t want to keep it up I am not where I want to be I am not productive like I would like I have this hole in my gut It seems never to want to heal Never close I have no time to struggle with this anymore It seems to be enough already Like I’m whining and I’m not It is rotting foul and has no room in my life So with all my might I ask that this leave as it came never to return Find another place to go No me Not now Not Ever In Jesus name Amen
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someone who cares eva |
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12-18-2017, 02:51 AM | #658 | |||
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Senior Member
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Eva, when I lived in London, many people in the winter period used a sun lamp, it wasn’t a tanning lamp, it was specifically devised to be a lamp that offered the benefit of an equivalent to sunlight. They would sit under the lamp every night and swear to me it made a difference. Here is the link to an article only written in August this year. How to Use Sunlamps for Depression | LIVESTRONG.COM
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I can still remember what life was like before pain became my life long companion |
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12-21-2017, 06:17 AM | #659 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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I donÂ’t understand how another feel good when seeing another in utter pain
Of all kinds It all comes in waves And I am the problem Having this mind this body I am responsible for And I get to a point I donÂ’t want it anymore The effort isnÂ’t effortless It is hard When in my day all I keep telling myself I will get through this It will be over soon ThatÂ’s what I keep playing over and over and over And it just keeps coming and coming and coming Having my precious granddaughter Doing it all over again And for both father and mother no clue how I am now in the worse financial rut IÂ’ve ever been They put me there They did And my daughter doesnÂ’t seem to understand I spent the last I had for my grandchild made her a special backpack for her I donÂ’t know how to post the pictures without the help from Corissa and she just doesnÂ’t care Point Straight aÂ’s made honor roll How does one not see the love she has for learning And she is rewarded with the understanding that it is all about feeling good about oneself To be able to understand and the love of reading and how it is another world when one has a love of reading How can two parents to this child ever know Me Getting her ready And after Eva having the flu At the end of it She had an outbreak on her lip ItÂ’s painful Something she was born with via transmitted via mom before born So if itÂ’s an all out outbreak It will take two weeks to pass Poopy Very poopy
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someone who cares eva Last edited by eva5667faliure; 12-21-2017 at 07:03 AM. |
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12-23-2017, 07:49 AM | #660 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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How can my child say
The only people who speak of God Is because Heavenly Father is the only one left one has in their lives How do I tell her it is not him who seeks me But I he There was a man who walk this earth Hung on the cross for you and me I don’t care I some think Jesus was nuts He was real That he made promises left for us I would run to him if I saw him But I seek him I want the comfort of the promises They are real To many things happened in my life to say there isn’t a God How do I tell my child it is by his grace every single day as o turn to him to give me the strength to go through another day with some joy Why am I here I don’t know But I have a life of the spirit that I can tap into every single morning It is so difficult to just make it through a day I have no desire strength but I am sure It will come Something will jar me How do I tell my child it is in AA that I was saved Saved in the spiritual journey that happens when one can see the light And not pick up a drink It is my choice of drug And it is only because of a community filled with the spirit of God That I be free For the day I take one pill for anything other than what it is for Is the day I put my meds I have become a slave to as pain has riddled this broken body Is the day I pick up a drink It is in the first three drinks as I remember it that gave me that feeling of everything will be okay And then one sobers up And then to repeat the cycle To kill the pain of living life unhappy To have family wants that alcoholic around to blame As young as I was tasting my first drink and how it made me feel And it grew and grew and grew I thank God Hi my child Everyday for my love of sobering experience strength and hope for the future I will pray for you and hope that you see things differently and find God in your life Raising them with a belief system To say that Jesus Christ never walked this earth is where it all comes together He lives My I have hope for all of us Me
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someone who cares eva |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | PamelaJune (12-23-2017), RSD ME (12-31-2017) |
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