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05-14-2019, 05:35 AM | #1 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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My heart just wants to give up
Not looking forward to an ablation Fear of all the failed surgeries Just to much to swallow Having to decrease the flacainide that keeps my heart beating NAR the max 300mg causing side affects Adema a no no to the heart Thing is all that has go wrong with this heart is a direct result of stress It all caught up and nothing seems to get it to beat in NSR I have let go of my family My youngest here home to help My granddaughter fears what her parents are forcing her to do She has no interest to be in their company And they just don’t care what her feelings are about and how they got to where they are She is eight A mind of her own Back a forth to court Next date the 28 So looking forward to saying what I need to say I trust nobody not the judge or council As I am a child who knows what it’s like to be forced into something that I will never forget A father who sexually abused me and my middle sister A mother who knew and looked the other way She forced us on him He killed himself as I’m sure he knew I was ready to confront him A mother who told us all we weren’t wanted Beat up by him like I was a boy My marriage all for the wrong reasons Smart enough to get out young Dedicated my life to my children who are nowhere to be found Wouldn’t want them around me Do not like who they are today But I can look in the mirror and am good with what kind of mother I was to them They still cannot see the sacrifices I made That’s okay The day will come For now I have one more to raise A honor student every marking period Well rounded Happy Yet a mother who puts her man before her child That was never something I did In fact I wish I let myself be loved There were a few who were worthy But put my children first So sad to have gotten this far in life and my body failing me I keep Heavenly Father close as I can Eva loves to pray with me She too prays for a miracle That her Mimma be healed A loving child And I fell in love with her and will always fight for her happiness Lots going on One day at a time Me To add Nursing sister fresh full right knee replacement Left to be done next
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someone who cares eva Last edited by eva5667faliure; 05-14-2019 at 12:48 PM. |
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