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10-14-2015, 10:19 AM | #181 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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As I lie on my left side
Not to many positions left to find any relief For this body cries out to be touched Yet it hurts to get a hug Regrets I have a few My mind afloat hanging on Attached a body that is rotting quicker than quick am getting tired of holding it together the blatant disrespect I will never stand for The office management in this building For example I did everything necessary on my part having to go to DMV please that was another slap you in the face disrespectful state workers that were exposed over the years of my life the corrupt activity giving out illegal licenses to many not in this country legally as I had to become a citizen Nevertheless I submitted required documentation to "them" in the office After thirty days I inquired about my handy cap spot that would keep me safe from where I was given a spot that left me to go to the car in horrible weather if I have to go to the doctors just an example I was ignored The wrong thing to do to this cookie What was the sad fact is this I am not to be reckoned with when I stand in the truth It saddens me to have to become assertive and make my stance be heard I bypassed the managers at this point called main headquarters asked for Simmon And the message I left went like such "I am new to the building And I know my rights I have complied to the rules I expect the management to do the same I believe after thirty day lead time was more than enough Please Do not make me make that ONE phone call" In less than twenty four hours I was given a spot that is right out the exit door to the second level in clear view of the camera Well in the week it was parked in its new spot someone in retaliation mode I believe it to even be the office who is behind it as I over road the witch who enjoys strong arming people in this building I had ten years experience with the previous building A great experience But a horrific situation with the previous building the judge stripped him becoming owner of the building Being in town picking up my Meds passed by and the building is under major repairs This only two women myself and another tenant Ten hard years And now this building I DON'T THINK SO YET AS YOU SAID DAVID WHERE IS THE MANNERS WHY CAN'T IT BE A SIMPLE PROCESS WHY TRY AND STRONG ARM ME AND THEN RETALIATE BY KEYING MY CAR AND THE OFFICE DID NOT WANT TO VIEW THE TAPES because A week is to long to view So now I do the work for them Taking video everyday in the end pan over to the camara They were in the hope I would move my car Not going to happen Informed the office of my intentions if the situation should happen again I will call the police have a report on file Can you imagine I mean really All this unnecessary If you just do your job As I did what was required It sickened me But now the office gets me Don't blank with me Why are there persons Many in my experience That are plain BULLIES NOT ON MY WATCH anyhow just an example Doing this such as accepting money for an apartment This I know for certain Persons who have no business living in the HUD involved building Two some even three parking spaces As the owner sent out a notice there is one free parking per unit Oh crap just sick of it I'm getting angry just writing about it Done I will not ever allow anyone strong arm me Or my family Dear friends of mine Who put up with my crap Know I take no pleasure having not being heard when talking to management But it is what it is and my car gets keyed Such beautiful people Would you all agree And then the one who want a free ride on my skirt tail Afraid of "THEM" I am sick of the bull turd Corruption Sick of it I still do my duties As mom and grandma Today I'm tired Posting not to loose my writing Be right back Someone told me about the Remember me option I can't find it So Ill just post Come back via through Edit Here I go Is what we go through not a direct way we "handle" OURSELVES I want to be taken seriously when I am soft spoken Still waiting for the experience What is wrong with people today Is is so hard to smile when passing a stranger Or a good day be offered Have I become so hard DEPRERESSION Delivery of change Enormous pain in my case a screwed up spine Physical is my nature is gone as I knew it Real you get to see the truth about another human Enraged to learn pain will be permanent Sad that doctors more than one failed me and lied Scared as time goes by I cannot do without consequences Isolated I am today not by choice Ongoing so my doctors tell me Never ending deep doomed unwelcomed sorrow Do I give into the depression Never A constant battle to empower myself on a daily basis Worried can I make it through tis day And because I have a place I can come to and express my experiences get feedback and be cared for just by listening and know all will be here if I need a place that others understand I DO NOT COOSE TO FEEL WHAT I DO I AM CONSTANTLY APOLIGIZING TO MY FAMILY NEVER A THOUGHT I WOULD GET ILL LIKE I AM SO THANK YOU FRIENDS LOVE ME
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10-14-2015, 11:40 AM | #182 | ||
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We are right here for you to spill all the crap you want to !
I'm very sorry about your car but very happy to have a decent place to part now. Lord I hate to get started on rude, unhelpful people. Rude.......how hard is it to respond to me when I say "hello" as passing by ? How hard it is to acknowledge when I say "How are you today ?" or when I say excuse me for bumping into someone and they just glare at me. What the heck is going on with people ? Doesn't matter what age...young or old they can get rude. No manners at all. I would still beat the snot out of my grown kids if I were with them and they were rude to someone. I certainly raised them better than that....but they are very polite grown ups. Other than drug dealers my son is loved by many he has helped in his sheriff's deputy duties and now as a narcotics officer. My daughter who has my open personality and loves to live life. Thank the Lord for my children ! And rude employees of ANY business ! I worked in claims for 26 years and I know good Customer Service. I, like you Eva, will not stand for rudeness. There is no reason for it. If you don't like your job then find another one ! I've never understood rude nurses....why in the world would you pick that profession if you don't like people ? Money ? More to life than that I can assure you. Ok.....you get what I'm trying to say so I'll stop my rant/vent for now. Oh Eva......I pray for you daily my sweet lady. You have gone through so much in your life and it's so unfair. But life isn't always fair is it ? I know the Lord had his reasons for taking my Bubba but I still feel it wasn't fair to take him at 58. We had so many good years ahead of us. I have always been against frivolous lawsuits but I believe I will need to talk to a lawyer about Bubba's passing. My biggest issue is that the neurosurgeon did not have clearance from his pulmonary dr before surgery and the c-scan showed his lungs were in terrible shape. Standard practice would have been for the surgeon to send him to lung dr, lung dr would have put him on steroids and breathing treatments weeks before surgery and also pulmonary rehab and possibly other stuff to get his lungs as strong as they could be prior to surgery. Did the surgeon just not read his c-scan taken prior to his surgery ? If he had done this could Bubba have been with me a little longer ? And when we would go for visits to surgeon as surgery he was really uncaring for all my husband was going through. The PA said most people don't 'make' it when they have this type of tumor. He didn't say whether they didn't make it prior to surgery or during surgery. Could they have told us that PRIOR to surgery ? ABSOLUTELY THEY COULD HAVE. I would love to see the surgeon's deposition from this surgery. He was not available so many times when we needed him after the surgery but thank the good Lord our PCP was right there with us and was seeing Bubba every 2 weeks to help all he could. Ok enough of that too. Eva you struggle on a daily basis and try so hard for your children. You are such a special lady and I hate this depression that takes hold of you and won't let go. You have enough on your plate without that. We all so admire you for fighting the fight daily. Know that we love you dear lady and keep letting it out on here. We all care deeply for you. Even at your worst times you reach out to someone else and offer kindness and support and caring. Sorry I rambled on and on but I guess I just needed to get it out and reading your post just opened me up ..... here's hugs for you dear Eva Sorry for any mistakes in spelling/word arrangement. Just doesn't seem worth it for my poor brain to try and re-read everything over and over to fix it. Debi from Georgia (thank goodness the sun is shining today! ) |
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10-14-2015, 05:04 PM | #183 | |||
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Magnate
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DEPRESSION
Despairing. Exhausted. Pitiful. Relentless Endurance of Sadness. Scarred. Introverted. Outcast. Negative. Dave.
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You and I are yesterday's answers, The earth of the past come to flesh, Eroded by Time's rivers To the shapes we now possess. The Sage - Emerson, Lake & Palmer. |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | RSD ME (10-15-2015), St George 2013 (10-14-2015) |
10-14-2015, 06:53 PM | #184 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Quote:
may i say one thing and that be i am so happy for you even in your love for Bubba while he waits for you till then i'm sure his love still lives on the thing i want to say is you are blessed to have love and loved in return Always remember that i cannot imagine that kind of love and pain is this what bittersweet means thank you for your shoulder mine here in return again thanks love me
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10-14-2015, 06:55 PM | #185 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Quote:
love you me keep sharing your words ring in my ears me
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11-02-2015, 08:14 AM | #186 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Oh how upset my eldest has me
It has been since February so much time gone by without my oldest in my life We always were so very close And always extreamly supportive in whatever she did A beautiful person I would tell people I would say things such as "There needs to be more Sara's such like my daughter and the world would be a better place I have done nothing to deserve the cold rude shoulder from her Especially my oldest And that special connection began to fall apart with her and her lazy husband who was worthless for over two years and lost their apartment his car his license because he lost his job Lazy I cannot swallow My daughter also a SSD receipent was taking care of themselves My daughter would come to me for help on many occasions done to getting her bras and underwares This while in her thirties Now did I have the money to do that Absolutely not When I got sick I was on medical leave with no pay Nothing ever hidden from my children Except for one thing We are poor with money and I always proud at how I would make double payments on my four plastic cards I own I cannot make the double payments on my credit card bills On a average I still meet my obligations Much of it are purchases for my children dressing Sara in her thirties while her husband sat around and took a break for two years I took care of my daughter from soup to nuts clothed her and she knows how mommy would always get them something What is bugging the turd out of me He now landed a $60,000 starting pay He is now capable in many ways to step up and pay up Reminder: I was asked last year through my daughter if he could make a purchase on my dell account For Christmas gifts four dell tablets one WAS suppose To be for me never happened This the newest addition to my financial troubles And things will get tougher when Corissa turns 18 Jesus I leave what I cannot do in Your hands Between my two eldest children I am owed over five grand And I struggle payout my debts They are mine and I have been paying minimum while I was on leave no pay Took from disability to pay my obligations Only now my municipal sweet job with excellent benifits GONE It will come to one day where I can no longer pay my obligations Credit cards will be the first I stop paying Taking off full coverage on my still to owe thirty five hundred for the car that was keyed fighting for a handy cap parking Any how estranged since February no resolve They now have their beautiful apartment to find out my dog has his own room makes me happy She is sending out invitations ou for thanksgiving I know my daughter She wants what she wants With good intentions I am sure Only what happened with my daughter be addressed I am expected to put things aside and sit at her table while no amends are made I cannot be fake And fake my way through thanksgiving dinner Will submit and come back and finish my thoughts Love Me Sad
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11-02-2015, 09:07 AM | #187 | ||
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Quote:
THEY always thought I was the common denominator in these problems but alas it was my son. He, a mama's boy, would never stand up to these women and always blamed stuff on me. Stuff I never said, did or even knew about until their relationships were over. How strange is that ? I now have a wonderful relationship with both his 1st ex and 2nd ex. I will never have a relationship with his 3 ex as they had no children together and she was not kind to my grandsons. My son did step away from his family last year for a few months. He found his way back to us right before Thanksgiving. He's had a pretty hard time recently as he was going through the passing of his dad plus the divorce from 3rd wife. He was with his dad when he passed and was able to say what he needed to say. That is the way the Lord wanted it to happen. He promised his dad he would take care of me and help me. It meant a lot to him to be able to promise his dad that. He suffers greatly with guilt as he was not as close to his dad and he should have been. My Bubba tried.....tried everyday with Luke. So he has to carry that with him. I am so sorry about your daughter. Wish she and her husband would step up to the plate and pay you back.....plus extra just because they 'want' to. There are still a few weeks before Thanksgiving......maybe something will touch her heart and bring her back to you like it use to be. Take care dear friend. We are here for you. Everyday. Debi |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | EnglishDave (11-02-2015), RSD ME (11-02-2015) |
11-02-2015, 12:43 PM | #188 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Oh how upset my eldest has me
It has been since February so much time gone by without my oldest in my life We always were so very close And always extreamly supportive in whatever she did A beautiful person I would tell people I would say things such as "There needs to be more Sara's such like my daughter and the world would be a better place I have done nothing to deserve the cold rude shoulder from her Especially my oldest And that special connection began to fall apart with her and her lazy husband who was worthless for over two years and lost their apartment his car his license because he lost his job Lazy I cannot swallow My daughter also a SSD receipent was taking care of themselves My daughter would come to me for help on many occasions done to getting her bras and underwares This while in her thirties Now did I have the money to do that Absolutely not When I got sick I was on medical leave with no pay Nothing ever hidden from my children Except for one thing We are poor with money and I always proud at how I would make double payments on my four plastic cards I own I cannot make the double payments on my credit card bills On a average I still meet my obligations Much of it are purchases for my children dressing Sara in her thirties while her husband sat around and took a break for two years I took care of my daughter from soup to nuts clothed her and she knows how mommy would always get them something What is bugging the turd out of me He now landed a $60,000 starting pay He is now capable in many ways to step up and pay up Reminder: I was asked last year through my daughter if he could make a purchase on my dell account For Christmas gifts four dell tablets one WAS suppose To be for me never happened This the newest addition to my financial troubles And things will get tougher when Corissa turns 18 Jesus I leave what I cannot do in Your hands Between my two eldest children I am owed over five grand And I struggle payout my debts They are mine and I have been paying minimum while I was on leave no pay Took from disability to pay my obligations Only now my municipal sweet job with excellent benifits GONE It will come to one day where I can no longer pay my obligations Credit cards will be the first I stop paying Taking off full coverage on my still to owe thirty five hundred for the car that was keyed fighting for a handy cap parking Any how estranged since February no resolve They now have their beautiful apartment to find out my dog has his own room makes me happy She is sending out invitations ou for thanksgiving I know my daughter She wants what she wants With good intentions I am sure Only what happened with my daughter be addressed I am expected to put things aside and sit at her table while no amends are made I cannot be fake And fake my way through thanksgiving dinner Will submit and come back and finish my thoughts Love Me Sad Now my son informed me as they too just began speaking to each other A very tight bond Sara 3 Michael 1 Christine 3months old when I seperated from their father I made a conscious decision not to get involved I had three children who needed a mother and someone they never would have to be in compete with for my love and furthermore I did not trust my own father my ex-husband or now strangers NOPE NOT THIS COOKIE I did entertain the womanly needs outside my home Someone my daughter just recently meet Someone I know since grammer school Blows my seventeen year olds head My son calls me after his amends to me and asks me to call Sara I did and she said I should put any problems there may be between us aside THAT WOULD BE AWESOME THIS IS NOT ABOUT POWER PLAY ON MY PART OR TO BE HURTFUL IT HURTS THAT SHE WOULD NOT RECOGNIZE ACKNOWLEDGE WHAT HAPPENED and HOW FAR SHE TOOK IT NO MAYBE IF SHE SAID SOMETHING LIKE I KNOW WE NEED TO TALK CAN WE DO IT AFTER THANKSGIVING AND WOULD YOU ACCEPT THE INVATATIONS WILL GO OUT (This be my daughters way of avoiding the matters at hand especially now that she stopped paying the Dell bill which is hers) I KNOW MY CHILDREN THIS HAS GONE ON WAY TOO LONG EVA SHOULD NOT HAVE THIS IN HER LIFE NOR CORISSA so I called expressed we need to make amends before I sit at her table I need to be happy not sad and reminded every month as I PAY THE DELL BILL THANKSGIVING SHOULD BE FAMILY TOGETHER I cannot be fake Told my son I reached out and told him I was not going after she said ifi chose not to go no big deal there will be more leftovers How was I going to look past that remark Yet I wish we would be together I don't want to hurt Or to hur her in return I did not do anything to deserve her behavior since January "Sky Line Session" This Just Me
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"Thanks for this!" says: | RSD ME (11-03-2015) |
11-03-2015, 10:29 AM | #189 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Each day I stir in the morning
I am conscious of what is going on Nowhere in my time of life on this earth can I remember a time we all just got along and behaved as what I imagine happiness joy that we are together at a holiday If it wasn't my mother and her ex-husband with her new found family She made his four children her business and their children her replacement of her own grandchildren So I will not go on as I do not have anything nice to say about her I am not my mother I miss my children Though have a line they crossed with me that blows me away I wish them well Me
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11-04-2015, 02:49 PM | #190 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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After expressing how it disturb me
that my eldest is sending out invatations for a family thanksgiving dinner A cop out Just a way out of not having to talk about what went wrong between us He also thought it be odd Maybe wedding invatations Another thing I wasn't there for Yup Not a part of that either She never even told me And I managed to shove that down somewhere deep Not forgotten when crap like this can go down between family blows my blanking mind And like Debi my children would too get the back of my hand if they are disrespectful I don't get it How does that give them the go ahead to the kind of behavior that is put on me Not the one who feeds you E V E R Y T H I N G and I do not mean on a material level I have no reason to hurt my children It does not enter this beings body to go out of my way to destroy this family I am calling management in this building on their crap Yesterday I went downstairs to get a flu shot I had just asked the office about my granddaughters mothers application to see if she was on the list What management did was say NOMORE APPLICATIONS what did my God do for me Just after asking for one for my daughter Christine and Eva would be just awesome if she could live so close and not be a slave to the babies father I was quickly When she comes home from rehab it is the only place she can go I did pull my weight and that's all I can With a prayer Will return with more to sh Love me
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