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05-10-2016, 12:41 PM | #291 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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And am waiting to hear from Corissa
She is now going to the hospital Abdominal pains Fever Wanted to call me at three in the morning But didn't She was left home alone No one to take her temp I have my granddaughters mother in another hospital What the **** am I suppose to do I wrote my daughter if she needs me tell me I haven't heard from her or her idiot father This is when I should be getting a call Not a word Going to call her now
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"Thanks for this!" says: | RSD ME (05-19-2016) |
05-10-2016, 03:36 PM | #292 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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She has a kidney infection
And she is not okay Her right kidney is the side And he is staying the night After she called for me And I told her what she needs to tell them And I'm not there No this isn't okay It isn't I am beyond hurt sad worried you name it I just want to disappear
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"Thanks for this!" says: | RSD ME (05-19-2016) |
05-10-2016, 06:29 PM | #293 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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I was used and abused again
All the things that make a mother nuts To have a fever and kidney infection was because it was to late It has been do long so ce she had a kidney infection Fighting with her idiot father Who questions my parenting While I gave her history to my child to give to be dr doctor Including the names of her surgeons And I get *uuued in the end Now I'm told after taking care of business Including her father to stay overnight Who know he just might leave But my kid said ill call when the discharge me I told her don't bother I'm done being used for the last time Two kids in the hospital at the same time It s.u.c.k.s. Me
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"Thanks for this!" says: | RSD ME (05-19-2016) |
05-11-2016, 06:48 AM | #294 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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How much longer
My God how much more What else do you want me to go through Strip me I do not understand Do not want to feel anymore But I do understand You are in control How much more You will just see to it until I stop asking You are the only one that knows all about me I hide nothing I will not be a door mat Or be judged My God why I am again awakened To go through a day of what I don't even want it to start I should be welcoming my day I am still compelled to pick up the phone When will I stop Do I have to stop Is that how far I must go I have no more to give I am being raped now And I want it to stop I do not know how not to pick up the phone I turn the machine off for two weeks but that's it I have other calls I cannot get to Really Really The way I feel is not a feel anyone should have to go through My daughters in the hospital One cannot handle life on its terms Had a breakdown on Mother's Day Since then she has been hanging on me Once again Mommy I can't go through this anymore I can't live with him anymore I'm not happy So I listen And listen And tell her You have a place However you must leave the waitress business It feeds her addictive ways Will not give it up Will not go to a meeting everyday to get her REAL MEDICINE JUST FOR AN HOUR I will not be a doormat to my children She is given the opportunity to get a proper job I have the baby Dammit I stepped up when no one else could And I'm still watching her And as for my youngest Calling me with chills Not knowing to go to the hospital 103 fever Her father took forever to get to her She wouldn't let me take her Even though I had the baby I could have taken her I make sure she has all the information needed As I called my eldest to go to her She of all people I never left her f******side Never Ever Did I leave them alone She and he or my eldest knew what was done As I had to get better at texing It's the way of the world I hate it Text ever ******* thing that she needed to tell the ER doctor It is not okay And then all I have closest to me my sister Only the youngest one Will be here this weekend She will stay and keep me company I have this incredible mound of sadness that is crushing me I feel like I am allowing all other getting the better of me I allow what I let in or not And with family It very tricky I get the boot at the end of the day Shame on me for letting it happen And the end of her settling in And I make sure to the best of my ability Not for her to be left alone Her father was suppose to stay He did not want to I still won't know the truth about that As my daughter was put on morphine drip with antibiotics to get right to the infection Now she hasn't had a kidney infection I will bring up an issue I take issue with I have a thirty three year old son who is gay Came out junior or senior year The whole time I thought he was going to kill himself Sat me down told me And my response was "that's it" I was so relieved Now ever since Corissa left Her behavior very worry some Nothing but a troublesome path Two weeks ago through a bisexual friend Male Gets his girls to have sex with through my daughter She sees this and knows it isn't right She told me about him Yet now under her fathers care I come to find this information from my child herself And because I questioned her father Why dose t he know where she is His response was What am I suppose to do Really Are you kidding me Now my child is ****** off Because I'm telling her father the people she is hanging with This bisexual you g man Maybe a bit older then my youngest who is eighteen introduced my daughter to this other bisexual man who had UNPROTEDTED SEX WITH MY DAUGHTER HOW DO I KNOW THIS MY CHILD TOLD ME And because I bring this to the forefront How possible transmitted infection can happen Not to mention other diseases and a possible sickle cell anemia child She has the trait Trait + Trait = 1 in 3 babies sickle cell anemia Then HPV AIDS HEP C AND THE LIST GOES ON You do not have to have sex to figure out if you are gay or not Or even entertain it if confused If anything figure out oneself then bring in another person May they be the opposite sex or the same It does not make a difference One should be falling in love with who they are as a human being Not to give up ones body I would tell my kids Hold off at least for the six month mark At that point one will find out much and the reasons why they stay in the relationship Yet not a f*****g person sees this sex binge she is on has very bad consequences to the THE SEX IS UNPROTEDTED IT IS NOT OKAY TO HAVE a bisexual partner Or any partner for that matter And at the end of the day My youngest tells me like her father I'm making a big deal about everything I began to utter the words I will not be the bad guy here She said to me As she began to feel better in her room Mom Ill call when I'm discharged I typed her Don't bother Your taken care if I'm not a doormat And I won't let her treat me like one What else Father What else Me
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"Thanks for this!" says: | RSD ME (05-19-2016) |
05-11-2016, 12:20 PM | #295 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Called her father
Left him a message That it isn't okay if she is pregnant If Corissa starts life like this I'm done What more am I to endure My granddaughter mother Not helping As she will be returning back to her job waitressing I just want to curl up into a ball and disappear What more I have but only one place to turn And I cannot endure one more thing
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"Thanks for this!" says: | RSD ME (05-19-2016) |
05-12-2016, 06:19 AM | #296 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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There is a hole in this heart
It does not feel good I am angry now Angry at everyone Not listening Nobody was listening I have a hole in my heart No fixing it Just a dark empty hole
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"Thanks for this!" says: | RSD ME (05-19-2016) |
05-13-2016, 07:27 AM | #297 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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I try real hard to not cry
It is something I do a lot of Sometimes it is healthy to cry This however is utter sadness I am a prisoner My own prisoner I put myself here Me I have to change Change how I deal with this very dysfunctional family I have so many worries about so many things And in the end I do know I can only do what my heart wants to do what is right for everyone But ME ME I am still alive I haven't died yet I breath the air we all breath I live a life that is in a constant whirl A tornado that has grown so large it is called The monster Just destroying everything in its path Sucking the air out of everything Leveled in the end Calm and order to return But never return to the way it was I am hoping to bypass some stuff I suffered on so many levels Wondering many times in my life time I there really a God who knows all Who takes care of all the things I cannot accomplish That can only happen through Jesus Christ It is a love that when touched by the Father You just know Ya just do I want my Father to be pleased Pleased I am watching over his children children he chose me as their mother Some are so lost When will they see your light When will they become responsible So I can live a happy life as I am closest to the end of a new life with my Father Make me count here while on this earth Allow us to come together In Jesus name Crying is my companion now Sometimes it feels good But the worries with the crying is the scary kind Me
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"Thanks for this!" says: | RSD ME (05-19-2016) |
05-13-2016, 07:30 AM | #298 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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I try real hard to not cry
It is something I do a lot of Sometimes it is healthy to cry This however is utter sadness I am a prisoner My own prisoner I put myself here Me I have to change Change how I deal with this very dysfunctional family I have so many worries about so many things And in the end I do know I can only do what my heart wants to do what is right for everyone But ME ME I am still alive I haven't died yet I breath the air we all breath I live a life that is in a constant whirl A tornado that has grown so large it is called The monster Just destroying everything in its path Sucking the air out of everything Leveled in the end Calm and order to return But never return to the way it was I am hoping to bypass some stuff I suffered on so many levels Wondering many times in my life time I there really a God who knows all Who takes care of all the things I cannot accomplish That can only happen through Jesus Christ It is a love that when touched by the Father You just know Ya just do I want my Father to be pleased Pleased I am watching over his children children he chose me as their mother Some are so lost When will they see your light When will they become responsible So I can live a happy life as I am closest to the end of a new life with my Father Make me count here while on this earth Allow us to come together In Jesus name Crying is my companion now Sometimes it feels good But the worries with the crying is the scary kind My youngest is still in the hospital With a kidney infection Something she hasn't suffered with In so many years What happened to her Why did she get so sick No call from her or her father I am beyond beyond Me
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"Thanks for this!" says: | RSD ME (05-19-2016) |
05-14-2016, 05:15 AM | #299 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Everyday I wake
My tears are streaming down my face Left with not knowing what is going on Not a word No comfort Just sadness Wanting it all to stop Just stop I have not gotten any better It just rips me to shreds She wound up in the hospital Why Why Why'd I have to have this happen Hasn't enough happened already Suffer I must I have choices Suffering triumphs all the time Saddness trumps All that I had in my life onetime is gone And am left to raise my granddaughter It won't matter what I do She will whatever she wants When she turns that magical age eighteen It doesn't matter I know I've tried it It didn't matter
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"Thanks for this!" says: | RSD ME (05-19-2016) |
05-14-2016, 10:10 PM | #300 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Came to spend two days with me
Did the three loads of laundry for me Cut my hair She cut my hair We cried so many times Got it to what I asked her to do Her real first time cutting anybody's hair to boot she is left handed We cried But she did it She loves me To do that for me She loves me I will miss her I miss Corissa Found out today from my eldest Who in turn said my other daughter was to contact me But no Not a word And Corissa hasn't looked back I did not hear from her when she was discharged Her father never called I was told by my eldest today Do as I do and say blank it Really She and the others I worry not knowing how she is doing Hurts me I am worried
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