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05-23-2017, 06:36 AM | #451 | |||
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Elder
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It is so hard to just listen and not give advice when you love someone and have their best interests at heart, especially if you have walked the path they are on
You have a right to resent your daughter's behavior Unfortunately, it seems like it is going to take her extra time to develop into an adult. I'm sure it's hard not to enable her behavior without causing a rift |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | eva5667faliure (05-24-2017), ger715 (05-24-2017) |
05-24-2017, 06:12 AM | #452 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Quote:
It is just like you said So difficult to step back My older children rather than help guide her are not being responsible and they too do not get it One cannot stay sober on their own My son dabbling with death and adds alcohol as a replacement because he says he can control himself My eldest a taste for alcohol The mother of my grandchild The only one who's been bitten by he rooms Still not in a good way And then we have my youngest A road she doesn't have to travel She lives with me and my grandchild Trying to get help is never going to work if she has no desire to get help Invincible she thinks she is I kills to watch Very carefully I deal with her Very gently And then there are times I just want to shake her She knows what she is doing This is the part that hurts She knows Will alway be their cheerleader When will she start to fight back All I can do is pray Pray to Heavenly Father that they will find their way sooner than later And to see I'm on their side and understand Thanks for the support Holding in As I hold on to her and try not letting her fall into the abyss Much love with warm hugs Me
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someone who cares eva |
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05-24-2017, 07:55 AM | #453 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Never sugar coating it
Seeing for themselves true to the way things really were They say all the time I didn't know we were poor mom I did my job After divorce Back to work Nights to the very end of my working career Never sitting on my buttocks Always on the move Excercising back to school trying to go into the medical field How far from that was I Vowing never to work in city hall And where did I put 12 1/2 year and it mean nothing Nothing Like that over night When I turned forty My eyes first thing that changed on the downhill slide Between Corissa and her kidney troubles And OMG the hospital stays and doctors For three years of her life to have that wonder will she make it She was 3 1/2 months old And when she took off for a few days coming home with i he only kidney infection Never even thought yo take her temp That I expected A thermometer so important in my lifetime Not to be taken lightly Going off topic I just learned The above tenant did what I said I would never do and that was take her to court as I had management handle it And the charge even though dropped needs to be expunged I am mortified Just beside myself So with my body that I have no control over as it is breaking down as it is And doctors have no clue what's going on with veins in my hands or feet and why they are behaving the way they are I was taken off tamoxifen after 5 years The veins don't swell as often and no bruises so there may be a connection to the happenings of my feet and hands in connection with the cancer medicine I see my oncologist next week So looking forward to seeing the pain specialist for a torodol shot It lasts me about two weeks Anything to relieve the constant pain Do I go into depression mode No Do I wonder if something changed with me Most certainly Do I have to put up with the I know better attitude And them not to even try a be receptive to what I have to offer A hard thing to step back from I will not let my children hurt me anymore Because the separations alone is tough enough I wish them happiness in whatever they do For them to love what they do To love who they are To know they matter My walls are up again My father really did a number on me Taught me how to build them up quickly And just as I'm almost done I remember by doing so I shut out Jesus Christ My constant My everything Heavenly Fatherto hold me up as I remember who is in charge of it all To not want to feel is my life and because I have to be vigilant and not let myself be victimized or let it consume me I must do Now to do homework on how to handle this Numb Me
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05-24-2017, 10:30 AM | #454 | ||
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Magnate
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Eva,
A few years ago, when Corissa first spoke with me over the phone; the first thing she said was "thank you for being friends with my mother". Her love for you stood out. It's still there; just pray she can move away from the "fog" that is hindering her view on all that she is and could be. Gerry |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | eva5667faliure (05-24-2017), OhKay (05-25-2017) |
05-24-2017, 01:49 PM | #455 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Corissa has all the space she could ever ask of me
And I am always ready for her when she falls My angel has a path of her own she needs to find What hurts me mostly Is watching them step away from faith all will be awesome when embracing God Jesus the angels the universe the sun Whatever But believe in yourself I tell them They all are wrapped up in this way of the world Not the good stuff How they turned away so quickly Blows me away I have guided my children and the can take care of themselves Such as cooking taking case of bills financial responsibility Laundry And such But the deeper side of them have changed closer to Corissas generation Stagnant The core of Corissa all good She says she would like to be a counseling as your daughter is doing Something she has knowledge in and has a desire to return back to school She gets sidetracked easily And many take advantage of her I never came between her relationship with her father Someone that I knew was not healthy And I was not going to be the reason they would have like to gave tried didn't happen I feel secretly badly for her and her sister Christine Her dad forgot he even had her They both have real dad issues and I don't like any of the things he says says to Corissa gave her a body image complex She's always fighting over food He terrible Just terrible I don't like it I can't do anything about him But just be available for her The phone is in a dangerous condition and he will not get it fixed it is cracked oozing with all that dangerous stuff She sleeps with it Puts it in her bra In her kidney area It is so dangerous This is just one example And pray that one day she will submit to Heavenly Father Pray she will return to therapy They are waiting for her And I will continue to pray And try to have as much fun with them as possible They are inseparable You are heard You are heard dear friend Thanks Warm hugs
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someone who cares eva |
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05-25-2017, 07:02 AM | #456 | |||
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Elder
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It's so common at 19 for kids to feel invincible. For some reason, 19 isn't as old as it used to be now, and that may be a little part of it. Keep loving her, and hopefully, she will start loving herself enough to find herself soon
I feel badly that the girls have not had enough of their father. It must be very difficult for them |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | eva5667faliure (05-25-2017), PamelaJune (06-10-2017) |
05-25-2017, 08:11 AM | #457 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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To not have a father in their lives in a positive way
To have not focused on them and not me Sad but true The one who seen it clearly Is my youngest Never coming between them She know where my heart lays away And am always to be found when they need me I support them trying to find the answers they look for I have a son who has been surrounded by women His three sisters Me my two sisters My mother It must have been difficult A mother no matter how much she tries to help fill it by taking them to all sports available It turned out to be softball But even then he was treated differently by the adults My boy is 6'8" tall He was always two heads taller And lanky Oh how they wanted him for basketball He wasn't interested Eventually left softball as they expected so much more because of his height But I tried And he knew that And as time went by And they got older and technology was first introduced when they were in high school Everything changed And I guess I didn't change quick enough or not change at all I do not like it when I have company and the phone is out in front of them or in their hands But you have a very valid important assement As I had a father around But did so much harm And having divorced so young I trusted nobody with my children It was a choice not to be involved in their lives It hurt when he applied for emancipation from them Yes I sacrificed much for them They owe me nothing I expect nothing I chose to not ever be involved with anybody And it was one less fear I did not have to worry about If my father was capable of doing what he did to me and my sister and a mother who knew and turned her head when crap was happening I don't know What would you do That's what I did They grew up without a dad As a dad should be in his son and daughters life Conscious of this did the best I could That's that Standing on the sideline The love never stops The dreams to come true Lots of love Me
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someone who cares eva |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | PamelaJune (06-10-2017) |
05-28-2017, 10:38 PM | #458 | ||
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Magnate
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Eva,
Was that your ex-husband, the father of your first three children, that filed for emancipation from them? I had not heard that term before. Did that mean he didn't pay any support for them? My dad left when I was almost 11; my brother is 3 years older than me. My father did keep in touch with me tho. Thankfully, the school was less than a block away as well as the Church. Since my mother often worked nights, I spent many evenings just sitting in Church. Faith was very important then as well as now. It is good your children are aware of your faith. Hopefully this will one day make a difference to them and eventually seek God's help in prayer. Gerry |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | eva5667faliure (05-29-2017), PamelaJune (06-10-2017) |
05-29-2017, 10:23 AM | #459 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Hoping this message finds you and your family well Emancipation has all but the same to be relieved of any responsibility to or for them To take care of themselves He never believed his eldest is an epelitic and has had all the surgeries or that she is blind in her right eye Yes Gerry As if he never fathered them And of the three Christine was 3/12 months Sara close to 4 Michael close to 2 He divorced them also Never held him from not have contact The grandparents on that side divorced them as well After a good number of years My ex sister in law a mother of two past and left two girls behind Wrote me Asking for forgiveness not being in their life As she said she understood what I was going through Sadly we never had a chance to be a family He wanted nothing to do with them In his words If I can't have you They are yours My case set presetance in the state of NJ MY EX EVADED HIS RESPONSIBILITY WORKING FOR GENERAL MOTORS in the nj linden plant And transferred to the Tarrytown plant in our back yard in a different state New York It was and is what it is He has had contact from them He has no interest Be well Doing all that is expected of me And will never abandon them Me
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"Thanks for this!" says: | ger715 (05-30-2017), PamelaJune (06-10-2017) |
06-07-2017, 08:49 AM | #460 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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I don't want to feel anything
Let me turn it over Trying to erase what was said this morning Letting it go Not to feel their shortcomings I have myself to take care of I have to take care of myself I am good for nothing if I don't let it go It cuts me up And I don't deserve the way my children manipulate me Shame on me I must stop and start my day over again for the third time After hearing from my middle sister Someone who calls when she is overwhelmed and needs reasoning she turns to me And I say to myself again Eva let it go Letting it go We shall see We shall see How this works for today I will be selfish and take care of this person Turn to Heavenly Father and just do One step at a time Me
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"Thanks for this!" says: | RSD ME (06-08-2017) |
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