It is so hard to just listen and not give advice when you love someone and have their best interests at heart, especially if you have walked the path they are on

You have a right to resent your daughter's behavior
Unfortunately, it seems like it is going to take her extra time to develop into an adult. I'm sure it's hard not to enable her behavior without causing a rift

Hugs and well wishes in return
It is just like you said
So difficult to step back
My older children rather than help guide her are not being responsible and they too do not get it
One cannot stay sober on their own
My son dabbling with death and adds alcohol as a replacement because he says he can control himself
My eldest a taste for alcohol
The mother of my grandchild
The only one who's been bitten by he rooms
Still not in a good way
And then we have my youngest
A road she doesn't have to travel
She lives with me and my grandchild
Trying to get help is never going to work if she has no desire to get help
Invincible she thinks she is
I kills to watch
Very carefully I deal with her
Very gently
And then there are times I just want to shake her
She knows what she is doing
This is the part that hurts
She knows
Will alway be their cheerleader
When will she start to fight back
All I can do is pray
Pray to Heavenly Father that they will find their way sooner than later
And to see I'm on their side and understand
Thanks for the support
Holding in
As I hold on to her and try not letting her fall into the abyss
Much love with warm hugs
Me

Never sugar coating it
Seeing for themselves true to the way things really were
They say all the time
I didn't know we were poor mom
I did my job
After divorce
Back to work
Nights to the very end of my working career
Never sitting on my buttocks
Always on the move
Excercising back to school trying to go into the medical field
How far from that was I
Vowing never to work in city hall
And where did I put 12 1/2 year and it mean nothing
Nothing
Like that over night
When I turned forty
My eyes first thing that changed on the downhill slide
Between Corissa and her kidney troubles
And OMG the hospital stays and doctors
For three years of her life to have that wonder will she make it
She was 3 1/2 months old
And when she took off for a few days coming home with i he only kidney infection
Never even thought yo take her temp
That I expected
A thermometer so important in my lifetime
Not to be taken lightly

Going off topic
I just learned
The above tenant did what I said I would never do and that was take her to court as I had management handle it
And the charge even though dropped needs to be expunged
I am mortified
Just beside myself

So with my body that I have no control over as it is breaking down as it is
And doctors have no clue what's going on with veins in my hands or feet and why they are behaving the way they are
I was taken off tamoxifen after 5 years
The veins don't swell as often and no bruises so there may be a connection to the happenings of my feet and hands in connection with the cancer medicine
I see my oncologist next week
So looking forward to seeing the pain specialist for a torodol shot
It lasts me about two weeks
Anything to relieve the constant pain

Do I go into depression mode
No
Do I wonder if something changed with me
Most certainly
Do I have to put up with the I know better attitude
And them not to even try a be receptive to what I have to offer
A hard thing to step back from
I will not let my children hurt me anymore
Because the separations alone is tough enough
I wish them happiness in whatever they do
For them to love what they do
To love who they are
To know they matter
My walls are up again
My father really did a number on me
Taught me how to build them up quickly
And just as I'm almost done
I remember by doing so
I shut out Jesus Christ
My constant
My everything
Heavenly Fatherto hold me up as I remember who is in charge of it all
To not want to feel is my life and because I have to be vigilant and not let myself be victimized or let it consume me I must do
Now to do homework on how to handle this
Numb
Me

Eva,
A few years ago, when Corissa first spoke with me over the phone; the first thing she said was "thank you for being friends with my mother". Her love for you stood out.

It's still there; just pray she can move away from the "fog" that is hindering her view on all that she is and could be.


Gerry

Corissa has all the space she could ever ask of me
And I am always ready for her when she falls
My angel has a path of her own she needs to find
What hurts me mostly
Is watching them step away from faith all will be awesome when embracing God Jesus the angels the universe the sun
Whatever
But believe in yourself I tell them
They all are wrapped up in this way of the world
Not the good stuff
How they turned away so quickly
Blows me away
I have guided my children and the can take care of themselves
Such as cooking taking case of bills financial responsibility
Laundry
And such
But the deeper side of them have changed closer to Corissas generation
Stagnant
The core of Corissa all good
She says she would like to be a counseling as your daughter is doing
Something she has knowledge in and has a desire to return back to school
She gets sidetracked easily
And many take advantage of her
I never came between her relationship with her father
Someone that I knew was not healthy
And I was not going to be the reason they would have like to gave tried didn't happen
I feel secretly badly for her and her sister Christine
Her dad forgot he even had her
They both have real dad issues and I don't like any of the things he says says to Corissa gave her a body image complex
She's always fighting over food
He terrible
Just terrible
I don't like it
I can't do anything about him
But just be available for her
The phone is in a dangerous condition and he will not get it fixed it is cracked oozing with all that dangerous stuff
She sleeps with it
Puts it in her bra
In her kidney area
It is so dangerous
This is just one example
And pray that one day she will submit to Heavenly Father
Pray she will return to therapy
They are waiting for her
And I will continue to pray
And try to have as much fun with them as possible
They are inseparable
You are heard
You are heard dear friend
Thanks
Warm hugs

It's so common at 19 for kids to feel invincible. For some reason, 19 isn't as old as it used to be now, and that may be a little part of it. Keep loving her, and hopefully, she will start loving herself enough to find herself soon

I feel badly that the girls have not had enough of their father. It must be very difficult for them

To not have a father in their lives in a positive way
To have not focused on them and not me
Sad but true
The one who seen it clearly
Is my youngest
Never coming between them
She know where my heart lays away
And am always to be found when they need me
I support them trying to find the answers they look for
I have a son who has been surrounded by women
His three sisters
Me my two sisters
My mother
It must have been difficult
A mother no matter how much she tries to help fill it by taking them to all sports available
It turned out to be softball
But even then he was treated differently by the adults
My boy is 6'8" tall
He was always two heads taller
And lanky
Oh how they wanted him for basketball
He wasn't interested
Eventually left softball as they expected so much more because of his height
But I tried
And he knew that
And as time went by
And they got older and technology was first introduced when they were in high school
Everything changed
And I guess I didn't change quick enough or not change at all
I do not like it when I have company and the phone is out in front of them or in their hands
But you have a very valid important assement
As I had a father around

But did so much harm

And having divorced so young
I trusted nobody with my children
It was a choice not to be involved in their lives
It hurt when he applied for emancipation from them

Yes I sacrificed much for them
They owe me nothing
I expect nothing
I chose to not ever be involved with anybody

And it was one less fear I did not have to worry about
If my father was capable of doing what he did to me and my sister and a mother who knew and turned her head when crap was happening
I don't know
What would you do
That's what I did

They grew up without a dad
As a dad should be in his son and daughters life

Conscious of this did the best I could
That's that

Standing on the sideline
The love never stops
The dreams to come true
Lots of love
Me

Eva,
Was that your ex-husband, the father of your first three children, that filed for emancipation from them? I had not heard that term before. Did that mean he didn't pay any support for them?

My dad left when I was almost 11; my brother is 3 years older than me. My father did keep in touch with me tho. Thankfully, the school was less than a block away as well as the Church. Since my mother often worked nights, I spent many evenings just sitting in Church. Faith was very important then as well as now.

It is good your children are aware of your faith. Hopefully this will one day make a difference to them and eventually seek God's help in prayer.


Gerry

Dear Gerry
Hoping this message finds you and your family well
Emancipation has all but the same to be relieved of any responsibility to or for them
To take care of themselves
He never believed his eldest is an epelitic and has had all the surgeries or that she is blind in her right eye
Yes Gerry
As if he never fathered them
And of the three
Christine was 3/12 months
Sara close to 4
Michael close to 2
He divorced them also
Never held him from not have contact
The grandparents on that side divorced them as well
After a good number of years
My ex sister in law a mother of two past and left two girls behind
Wrote me
Asking for forgiveness not being in their life
As she said she understood what I was going through
Sadly we never had a chance to be a family
He wanted nothing to do with them
In his words
If I can't have you
They are yours
My case set presetance in the state of NJ
MY EX EVADED HIS RESPONSIBILITY WORKING FOR GENERAL MOTORS in the nj linden plant
And transferred to the Tarrytown plant in our back yard in a different state New York
It was and is what it is
He has had contact from them
He has no interest
Be well
Doing all that is expected of me
And will never abandon them
Me

I don't want to feel anything
Let me turn it over
Trying to erase what was said this morning
Letting it go
Not to feel their shortcomings
I have myself to take care of
I have to take care of myself
I am good for nothing if I don't let it go
It cuts me up
And I don't deserve the way my children manipulate me
Shame on me
I must stop and start my day over again for the third time
After hearing from my middle sister
Someone who calls when she is overwhelmed and needs reasoning she turns to me

And I say to myself again
Eva let it go
Letting it go
We shall see
We shall see
How this works for today
I will be selfish and take care of this person
Turn to Heavenly Father and just do
One step at a time
Me