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08-08-2017, 10:13 AM | #521 | ||
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Hi Eva. I hope you start to feel better soon. Sending Heartfelt Hugs and Prayers your way.
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RSD ME . |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | eva5667faliure (08-08-2017), PamelaJune (08-08-2017) |
08-10-2017, 08:27 AM | #522 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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I could have seen it as I do now
I was young And at that time in the early Seventies Prosthetic hardware such as one my father would be using An amputee as a young man and put him in life long depression and it never a issue seeing him with a missing leg But my point The leg he had to wear was manican like Carved wood moulded plastic He called it his wooden leg He would put a special sock on the stumps and put it in a hollow opening then wrapped a belt around his waist And here is the story I'm ashamed of today Even though he was mental sickness and physical trials I did not understand I was young and he took me my best friend and her sister and boyfriend My father was drunk but happy drunk I was not comfortable as he did not like that my girlfriends sister and boyfriend were kissing A no no Back to a hand I should have extended He took us ice skating And he decided he was going to ice skate I was so embarrassed begging my mother to pick me up crying like a baby Never until thinking about it today Rather then help him try to skate hold his hand I was thinking about myself Not how all he wanted was to have fun and I should have extended my hands out to him He had the nerve to put them on and have some fun that not what I did or felt And I'm sorry for that So sorry Me
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someone who cares eva |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | PamelaJune (09-29-2017), PurpleFoot721 (08-10-2017) |
08-11-2017, 07:04 PM | #523 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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If anybody remembers the movie
It would be a awesome way to become in love with the family and man It was a good movie Something I remember when crap hits the fan That would be still the same A hell of a day Me
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someone who cares eva |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | RSD ME (08-13-2017) |
08-12-2017, 06:51 AM | #524 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Does it affect some
Yes it does I am one who is affected My father did It is something to wonder about Amazed and amused at how the mind can play these horrible games over and over time and time again I cannot help but wonder what causes us to begging the thinking process Is there a thought that hasn't reached it threshold and bam it all comes rushing out What gets the mind going I'm not sure if I'm interested at times When I begin to figure out what needs to be done in the day alone is a bit to much not wanting to know Can that be achievable Can I practice that in my day And what that boils down to is the f its Not I interested thank you very much The disappointment is more than one would want to feel It's like a slow death From the inside out How easy for some to sweep under the rug like my middle dis until she begins to feel better and then she says got to go I have to let this go But it's this thing called the mind that is the wants to just go and react Not gonna do it Eva father and mother taking her to the movie and out to eat Let's pray they treat her with love and adventure I pray she has an awesome da May she learn something from Heavenly Father A day for my granddaughter Let's see if the adults can get their act together She wants to go to the movies forget the title came out yesterday And out to ear Lest see Let's see So that's how the mind started After my meditation Will need to return to it
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08-15-2017, 06:41 AM | #525 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Have they become stranger to her
Or like with her BFF gone took off yesterday Got up did not make her bed Took a shower Got dressed Seen the last time out for a few days came home with nails and toes do Am I crazy or what Returned for the night Called while out saying won't be home Going to shore and period Said Love you and hung up Saturday my grandchild didn't want to go" Cried "I don't want to go It was just the two of us And I don't want her to be unhappy She really did not want to go She is way closer than I ever imagined It's been weeks since she was in their company Actually months the summer was a wash It really stinks Go all I can when home But not good A movie she wants to a see Doesn't want to with them It's sad but only do what I can She can't wait for school That's great Gets to be among her friends Develop in a area socializing It makes me cry Just cry Me
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08-25-2017, 06:29 AM | #526 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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As much as I try it just won't leave
I meditate and put myself into a position of prayer Everything will be okay for I am to listen and live Knowing it's all taken care of And that no matter how I would love it all to be That only my wish and my will but have to understand it was doesn't work that way All I have to do is whisper his name I cannot loose myself anymore I am not going to be a doormat to anyone It is something I want to empower myself with Be strong enough to say enough And not let anyone steal my thunder Why do I do that Why do I always give the benefit of the doubt to habitual lier What is wrong with me It be what I allow to happen it isn't anyone else's fault Only mine I am someone who was meant to teach It is a natural gift I have I am the go to person My sister struggling with my only nephew who does not believe No belief system And this just came out I had this conversation with her about how only one of my four children believe And that be my granddaughters mother My granddaughter in my care since a infant She will start 1st grade gifted And the routine we have before she gets to use ANY OF HER ELECTRONICS or even to watch TV I ask her to pick any book she wants and we have a good selection of books to pick from And like I began saying The routine is she reads from a book and explain to me what it is she read She understands to ask herself Who What Where When How and Why To cover all the bases I also found that when reading she gets it better in beat syllables And it just flows If she becomes a advid reader she will have a love of words Estranged from my eldest who claiming to miss her mom Is a real poet Published and all In tournaments for bragging rights but you get the picture The love of words A gift And I'm trying and see she loves it Depression hits me through my day I look around and say This is not what I want for myself I want to travel You know take a trip Even just for a few days Financial not capable Having to live on a very low fixed income Pay my obligations and left with zippo Unable to even stuff envelopes But I make it work But for the grace of God and my knowledge since little It's having this feeling pop in through my day I want it to stop This be my wish Love Me Forgot to mention the book she chooses to read is her Bible
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someone who cares eva Last edited by eva5667faliure; 08-25-2017 at 07:58 AM. |
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08-25-2017, 08:15 PM | #527 | ||
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Magnate
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Quote:
Eva, the reward tho not in dollars; is a beautiful little girl who is so fortunate to have you for a grandmother. She is a gift from God. Love & Prayers, Gerry |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | eva5667faliure (08-26-2017), PamelaJune (08-27-2017), PurpleFoot721 (08-26-2017), RSD ME (08-27-2017) |
08-26-2017, 07:36 PM | #528 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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"She" is it all
As there is a rug she pretends to use as a take off point She pretends to fly I see her kneeling Asks me Are you okay I tell her yes she says Good it worked I ask her what she did She says I prayed that you get better The best the best Can't get enough of her She is doing awesome with her reading she does it in beats and loves it I think she's hooked when we do it like that Loving her Amen
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09-06-2017, 07:30 PM | #529 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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It's been a horrible summer
My 19 year old taking flight May have been home in total a week in 3months I have nothing good to say other than I fear that phone call She is entertaining sex drugs unprotected drinking I haven't spoken a word of it till now praying all would calm and we could with a prayer and hope she would come to her senses Not the case Alone I am with Eva Tomorrow she starts first grade I start the morning getting her ready at six My gums are swollen My teeth always been in excelllant condition Something is going on with this body not for the better I need to see a vascular doctor My hands and feet are just out of control In the morning my toes both feet white until I massage them same as hands veins swelling and popping I am falling apart Since oncologist stopped tamoxifen There has been a discharge I never had Never having an issue of that kind ever I've been very lucky till now All of me just wants to disappear I can't eva needs me for as long as Heavenly Father keeps me alive Till then My eyes and face swollen from the tears I'm utterly confused and terribly horribly sad Me
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09-07-2017, 01:48 AM | #530 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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So hard
I cannot sleep It's so hard Me
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