advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 09-10-2017, 01:18 AM #541
PamelaJune's Avatar
PamelaJune PamelaJune is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Where my heart is
Posts: 1,140
10 yr Member
PamelaJune PamelaJune is offline
Senior Member
PamelaJune's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Where my heart is
Posts: 1,140
10 yr Member
Default

It's become a horrid world, it's cruel, unkind and uncaring. Empathy and sympathy has been eroded and surpassed by arrogance, ignorance and selfishness. Lucifer has forsaken Agamemnon. Is this punishment we endure his retaliation upon the world growing in strength & failing to grasp why Michael did cast him out.

Quote:
Originally Posted by eva5667faliure View Post
I hear you
And you certainly heard me
You are so on point
It is a different world
And we know it to be true
Retuning my love and hugs to you and yours
Me
__________________
I can still remember what life was like before pain became my life long companion

Last edited by PamelaJune; 09-10-2017 at 01:33 AM.
PamelaJune is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
eva5667faliure (09-10-2017), ger715 (09-10-2017), PurpleFoot721 (09-10-2017), RSD ME (09-10-2017)

advertisement
Old 09-10-2017, 12:20 PM #542
eva5667faliure's Avatar
eva5667faliure eva5667faliure is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: new jersey
Posts: 3,523
10 yr Member
eva5667faliure eva5667faliure is offline
Grand Magnate
eva5667faliure's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: new jersey
Posts: 3,523
10 yr Member
Default While I lay in the hospital

My granddaughters mother takes my meds
Having this happen and added to a plate on overload
I am beside myself
Cannot believe that she do that
But again an active addict will do anything even when things are happening
Once again I am put in a horrible situation
Giving her all the time and space to tell me the truth
She tells me not to be upset as my pressure is not stable
I told her I'm not upset
I'm disappointed at her especially at the reason I'm in the hospital
Heartbreak is all I can say
Me
__________________
someone who cares
eva
eva5667faliure is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
ger715 (09-10-2017), PamelaJune (09-10-2017), PurpleFoot721 (09-10-2017), RSD ME (09-10-2017)
Old 09-10-2017, 08:46 PM #543
ger715 ger715 is offline
Magnate
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Illinois
Posts: 2,180
10 yr Member
ger715 ger715 is offline
Magnate
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Illinois
Posts: 2,180
10 yr Member
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by eva5667faliure View Post
I have my arms wrapped around you with great love respect and appreciation
I most certainly will
She is special
Beautiful
Smart
Has empathy for all but herself
She asked me just yesterday
Mommy am I beautiful
I answered
I wish you could see what I do
Your beauty is so powerful
Find it
See it
Don't let it go
Yes you are not just beautiful
But stunning
Inside and out
She is Gerry
She really is
Hoping she gets to love herself and never lets go
She say
Mom there is no place like home
And I know how hard you love
And I will never let go of that
I have to go
I have to figure some things outside on my own
And know I have your love to hold on to
Never forget
You did nothing wrong
Don't go blaming yourself
I have the best mom anyone could ever hope for
You are real and beautiful too
Thank you momma
I will return
I just have to do this
I told her
I will never give up on you
Never
All of you suffer depression
And it's not your fault
Just know when your ready
There is help
And I will always be ready to help you get that help
Please be careful about the choices you make as you find what I see
I can't wait to tell her you are asking about her
Yes I can't wait
With all my heart
Thank you
You have my word
I will tell her
Love
Me

Eva,
I felt her inner beauty speaking with her; she has so much to offer. The one thing that really touched me immensely was when she told me "thank you for being my mother's friend. She was only about 14 or 15 or thereabout; she loves you very much. She is "special"; she does have to believe that herself.
She knows and I know, you will never give up on her.

As always,
Love & Prayers,
Gerry

Last edited by ger715; 09-10-2017 at 11:08 PM.
ger715 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
eva5667faliure (09-10-2017), PamelaJune (09-11-2017), PurpleFoot721 (09-11-2017), RSD ME (09-12-2017)
Old 09-11-2017, 05:48 PM #544
eva5667faliure's Avatar
eva5667faliure eva5667faliure is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: new jersey
Posts: 3,523
10 yr Member
eva5667faliure eva5667faliure is offline
Grand Magnate
eva5667faliure's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: new jersey
Posts: 3,523
10 yr Member
Default Today the worse day ever

I will be the one to take and pick Eva up
All on deck abandoned ship
I so tired so sick
Just sick and tired
The entire family abandoned us
Mother was to take her
And Corissa was to pick her up
And I had to do EVERYTHING
THEN SO BE IT
I'll do it till I drop
I can't even talk about my family
It's like
What family
Me
__________________
someone who cares
eva
eva5667faliure is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
ger715 (09-12-2017), PamelaJune (09-12-2017), PurpleFoot721 (09-11-2017), RSD ME (09-12-2017)
Old 09-12-2017, 04:04 AM #545
eva5667faliure's Avatar
eva5667faliure eva5667faliure is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: new jersey
Posts: 3,523
10 yr Member
eva5667faliure eva5667faliure is offline
Grand Magnate
eva5667faliure's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: new jersey
Posts: 3,523
10 yr Member
Default I am crushed

I was just run over
Someone please help
I cannot believe how things have turned from one day to the next
Just run over by a truck
How much longer
Before I just drop
I can't ev n get proper sleep
Me
__________________
someone who cares
eva
eva5667faliure is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
ger715 (09-12-2017), RSD ME (09-12-2017)
Old 09-12-2017, 08:31 AM #546
PamelaJune's Avatar
PamelaJune PamelaJune is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Where my heart is
Posts: 1,140
10 yr Member
PamelaJune PamelaJune is offline
Senior Member
PamelaJune's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Where my heart is
Posts: 1,140
10 yr Member
Default

Eva, are you in hospital! What happened was little Eva with you. Pray you are ok
Sadly many young mums of today are not interested in their children's education. It would appear your daughter is one of those, my niece too, I called in yesterday morning, the 8yr & 5yr old both at home, mum in bed at 9.45am. Forgot to get up & get kids ready. Blathered on she was ill as were they, no sign of illness. Just sleep. Front door unlocked, I just walked in, the 7yr old up watching TV & playing games. It's not unique Eva, not unique. 14yr old had got himself ready & gone to school. I had checked the messenger history at 8am when I sent her a msg asking if she will be home, it tells you when the person was last active, she had been active 5 hrs previously. So was up at 3am, that's why the boys not in school!! Makes me angry, they are such smart little boys. This a girl, I was her legal guardian, she lived with me and DB on & off many years. She never missed school on our watch.

Please let us know how you are as soon as you're able xxx

Quote:
Originally Posted by eva5667faliure View Post
I was just run over
Someone please help
I cannot believe how things have turned from one day to the next
Just run over by a truck
How much longer
Before I just drop
I can't ev n get proper sleep
Me
__________________
I can still remember what life was like before pain became my life long companion
PamelaJune is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
ger715 (09-12-2017), PurpleFoot721 (09-12-2017), RSD ME (09-12-2017)
Old 09-13-2017, 05:59 AM #547
eva5667faliure's Avatar
eva5667faliure eva5667faliure is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: new jersey
Posts: 3,523
10 yr Member
eva5667faliure eva5667faliure is offline
Grand Magnate
eva5667faliure's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: new jersey
Posts: 3,523
10 yr Member
Default Yes dear friend I'm home

Wanting to keep me another day
Couldn't do I as heart was on the surface cleared
Nitroglycerin several times
My pressure still not stable
And yes I take very seriously
If you only knew the entire picture
She cried and cried for me

I just couldn't anymore
I do not have to explain she the few doctors
Who ask the question
BUT ARENT LISTENING
AND FOR A DOCTOR TO ASK WHAT ONE OF THE GENERIC MEDS IM ON zenflex A muscle relaxer turn to the the nurse and ask what is this one
Ran anger up and down my broken spine
I must see several doctors
Have a nuclear stress
My LDL not good on meds for that now
I do not have an appetite and when I do eat I eat healthy
My meds were not given at the time needed and having to go through withdrawals I do not think I need to explain
It drives me nuts when all aren't on the same page and when I ask questions they become annoyed

Then as this all happened on the first day of school and having been admitted Eva missed second da thankfully it was a Friday
Then we come to Monday having that meeting with those who were suppose to help mom and corissa both failed mom to take her and Corissa to pick her up
Never happened
And because having been separated for the first time from me
I her everything someone she knows who is always there not to have any worries have told both my adult children
Shame on you both to put a innocent child who came into this world and have any worries is never ever going to happen
I told them I will be taking and picking her up no matter how hard it is
Her calm and happiness is what I am concerned about
So yes my friend I'm home
Struggling
May my Heavenly Father ease my pain
I pray your life to can get stable
I know you know exactly what I we are going through
Where is the compassion
Where is the love

On a good note
She is enjoying herself in school
And loves the live notes I put in her lunch box
She too is special
So special
With all my love to you dear friend
And the the ones who know my story
I apologize for not writing
But know I pray for you all
Just to know I am heard and not alone
Love
Me
__________________
someone who cares
eva
eva5667faliure is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
ger715 (09-14-2017), PamelaJune (09-13-2017), PurpleFoot721 (09-13-2017), RSD ME (09-17-2017)
Old 09-14-2017, 04:10 AM #548
eva5667faliure's Avatar
eva5667faliure eva5667faliure is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: new jersey
Posts: 3,523
10 yr Member
eva5667faliure eva5667faliure is offline
Grand Magnate
eva5667faliure's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: new jersey
Posts: 3,523
10 yr Member
Default My desire to move forward

Has come to a halt
__________________
someone who cares
eva
eva5667faliure is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
ger715 (09-14-2017), PamelaJune (09-14-2017), RSD ME (09-17-2017)
Old 09-14-2017, 04:38 AM #549
PamelaJune's Avatar
PamelaJune PamelaJune is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Where my heart is
Posts: 1,140
10 yr Member
PamelaJune PamelaJune is offline
Senior Member
PamelaJune's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Where my heart is
Posts: 1,140
10 yr Member
Default

There may be something in that Eva, take stock and live in the moment or the now as some would say. Worry not over the future or what is round the corner, just breathe and live with what you have. I know for you it's a rucksack full of pebbles and I'm so very sorry for that. So moving forward at some stage does need to pause, use the pause to empty your rucksack somewhat. We are here, live, pm, on screen, whatever works to help unburden some of the load you carry.

Quote:
Originally Posted by eva5667faliure View Post
Has come to a halt
__________________
I can still remember what life was like before pain became my life long companion
PamelaJune is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
eva5667faliure (09-14-2017), ger715 (09-14-2017), PurpleFoot721 (09-14-2017), RSD ME (09-17-2017)
Old 09-14-2017, 10:13 AM #550
eva5667faliure's Avatar
eva5667faliure eva5667faliure is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: new jersey
Posts: 3,523
10 yr Member
eva5667faliure eva5667faliure is offline
Grand Magnate
eva5667faliure's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: new jersey
Posts: 3,523
10 yr Member
Default I am shocked

Behind my back
For years I would ask my child
Please return to school
Get your diploma
Texting calling with no respons
And I find out
She is following the money her father continues to feed her
It is so much bigger all the work I have put into laying a foundation for her
And I found out that she was with her father taking her to school to register
He himself I found out much later
An illiterate
Though when it comes to money and his business flooring
All cash
We do understand why
Distant we are
But the truth hurts and sad when she too follows the money
May she find herself
But I cannot lie
How it went down is affecting me on so many levels
Corissa is gay
But now living with a young man who lives with his mother
This makes her father so very happy
As he never accepted her as a lesbian
So to please him for the sake of money
And not be true to herself as we spoke about it many times in detail
Tells me mom I've tried I am a lesbian
Back with the same boy
As he is so immature
Will not wear a condom
Do I need to say anymore
I pray as her health is compromised
And oh Lord to think a child could be a possibility
She is a sickle cell trait child
He Africa American prevalent in that culture
How do I let all of it go
I pray and pray and pray
Help me with this dear Father
Help me give it ALL to YOU
My will comes back in a cunning way
I know it
Way much
Way to much
I'm killing myself
With my will in the way
Cunning
Satan at his best
Me

Addiction
My child will not return calls or texts
I have blocked her for the first time
No contact
Why
Because I am not even worth the time
But as dad is now in the picture
I call you back it my dad
Okay
So be it
__________________
someone who cares
eva

Last edited by eva5667faliure; 09-14-2017 at 05:35 PM.
eva5667faliure is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
ger715 (09-14-2017), PamelaJune (09-14-2017), PurpleFoot721 (09-14-2017), RSD ME (09-17-2017)
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
can't take anymore anon1028 Traumatic Brain Injury and Post Concussion Syndrome 6 06-30-2014 09:11 PM
Not sure anymore Aropka New Member Introductions 3 10-18-2011 11:57 PM
just cant do this anymore krank Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy (RSD and CRPS) 28 04-09-2011 10:45 PM
Please help - cant take it anymore! debbiehub Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy (RSD and CRPS) 11 04-26-2010 05:49 AM
What Should I do, I just don't feel wanted anymore Jennifer Survivors of Suicide 14 01-08-2007 05:28 PM


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:20 PM.

Powered by vBulletin • Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

vBulletin Optimisation provided by vB Optimise v2.7.1 (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2024 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
 

NeuroTalk Forums

Helping support those with neurological and related conditions.

 

The material on this site is for informational purposes only,
and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment
provided by a qualified health care provider.


Always consult your doctor before trying anything you read here.