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Old 09-14-2017, 05:27 PM #551
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Default 3days

I do not understand people today
I have had a long year of annoyance with the above tenant and her bizzarre behavior waking me up all hours of the morning
Not able to sleep the tenant below for three days having her floors done the banging and hammering should stop by 4:00 pm
I so sick of the rude people that have no decency
I finally call the police dept
I'm so done
OMG IM SO DONE
Eva is sick with a cold
I truly feel like I'm losing it
Really I am
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Old 09-15-2017, 07:54 AM #552
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Default Giving Eva's mother all the opportunity for...

Her to step up
She wants it and here goes

1:00 AM I text mom Eva is up sick with a cold vomiting
To give the school a call by 7:00 provided her with the number to call
She texted me back to confirm
As I haven't slept in I don't know how many days attributing to my erratic fluctuations of my pressure
Sending her a picture of Eva asleep with her vomit bucket with her favorite scent in it as like myself very sensitive to smells
There are a very few she loves and it calms her
They are soft like baby powder
To add to this she is given a wipe with her choice of scent on it every morning as it calms her stomach
She reminds me so much of myself we both have weak stomach
Just a example and the experience I have
Back to mom
At 6:15 AM I sent her a picture of her as Eva still asleep with her bucket in her face
I remind her to call by 7:00 AM
TEXTED HER FOUR MORE TIMES
No response
I begging to call her 10 times no answer
I call their house phone no answer
So in the end I called the school to let them know she will be home
In the mean time the father calls at 7:25 AM asking if everything is alright
I tell him what happened
And he begins to make excuses
I told him to knock it off
This is what she wants and it is 8:21 AM awaiting her mother to call me
She is still sleeping

I ask what do I do
Do I look into having her home schooled
This is what she asked for and I had to handle it
I don't have to say what my pressure is


Then after blocking Corissa
Somehow she was able to call the cell phone and I was tending to Eva
She called last night around 7:30 ish I did not pick up
And while tending to Eva I missed the morning call
Reluctantly I call
She answers
And the first thing out of her mouth was
Why do you have me blocked on house and cell
My response to her
HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE IGNORED
She says not good
I said it again
How does it feel
NOT GOOD
I then tell her am I to be taken for a fool
Do you think I would put up with what is perpetrated upon me and not do anything to stop it
How does it feel Corissa
She then says I'm in the bathroom and she tells me she would call back
That was a half hour ago

Again
I ask what do I do
The father is three weeks late with support
Was suppose to come up with it yesterday
Left with $62.00 paying all bills and rent for October
I'm left with $62.00
Support is minimal and are late
I do not get it
Yet he can get his haircut biweekly
I had shot hair at one time
Since my retirement I have no funds to even get a hair cut
So it has grown and am doing the best I can trimming what I can as it grows out
And to think this doesn't add to the stresses is so upsetting
I do without so much since becoming ill
I just can't wrap my head around this all
It's draining me of life
And it must stop
And yet I need someone to take her in the morning
My only concern is she leave this home happy with no worries as the family adults just don't care
It is now 8:44 no call from mother or Corissa
And me and Eva have the best I have to offer her
The best I can do
And she knows
She knows I'm her everything and tells me over and over again
Thank you mimma for taking care of me
Thank you
I tell her no thank yous necessary
I will alway do for you as long as God is in my heart Amen
Heavenly Father hold me together together in this unpredictable day

What to do
Dear Father how much more
How much more
I must stop and just do
I cannot fall to pieces
She needs me
And I will have to calm myself
I will stop here and do some meditation
READING THE BOOK
THE WORD THAT WILL BE JUST FOR ME ON MY DAY
9:53AM NO CALL FROM EITHER
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Old 09-15-2017, 01:13 PM #553
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Default Hearing from both

Mother to apologize
And understood all my concerns
And from my youngest
Wanted to know why she was blocked
Asking her
How did it feel
Not good was the response
I said multiplying that by infinity
A horrible feeling
So having unblocked
I told her the second I am ignored
I will shut her down
I got a yes mom instantly
It is by far a better place
But a start
Me
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Old 09-15-2017, 05:44 PM #554
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Default She let her down

Once again
As she goes to bed with tears
I want to punch a wall
Oh how angry I am
My body is killing me
With so many days with no sleep
Pressure not stable
And it is so clear why
And I tell myself
Just breath
Just breath
My neck shoulders
My knees
My lower back
My head my hands
My feet
That's pretty much the body from head to toe
To say I wish I never had the surgery
Not the case
I had no choice
But to be maimed as a result of the surgery
Yeah you bet it all comes to a head
Having to take the meds I do
Yeah you bet
26 years of sobriety
I want to say for what
But I know better
It be a lesson I know
He's pulling me closer
No doubt
It is the only thing I have done right
Me
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Old 09-15-2017, 07:17 PM #555
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Default

Oh Eva, this is so not true! It truly is not the only thing you have done right. Your sobriety is right up there, but above all of that, you gave birth to a child who through her own selfish actions has gifted you in turn with the will to live!

You are a shining light in little Eva's life and a beacon of hope by the sound of things to your siblings. In the modern world marketing and their spin doctoring have shortened sentences to simple words to hit home truths to millennial's. Examples you will have seen in powerful advertising campaigns "Just be" - "Just do" so allow me to spin some truths to you.... "You are" what is right in this world a little Eva occupies. Without you, her would would be so much smaller. "In chaos there is peace".

I hope you can find comfort in these photos I'm attaching.

Quote:
Originally Posted by eva5667faliure View Post

It is the only thing I have done right
Me
Attached Thumbnails
i don't want to feel anymore-img_0906-jpg   i don't want to feel anymore-img_0907-jpg   i don't want to feel anymore-img_0908-jpg   i don't want to feel anymore-img_0909-jpg   i don't want to feel anymore-img_0910-jpg  

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Last edited by PamelaJune; 09-15-2017 at 11:28 PM.
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Old 09-16-2017, 08:12 AM #556
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by PamelaJune View Post
Oh Eva, this is so not true! It truly is not the only thing you have done right. Your sobriety is right up there, but above all of that, you gave birth to a child who through her own selfish actions has gifted you in turn with the will to live!

You are a shining light in little Eva's life and a beacon of hope by the sound of things to your siblings. In the modern world marketing and their spin doctoring have shortened sentences to simple words to hit home truths to millennial's. Examples you will have seen in powerful advertising campaigns "Just be" - "Just do" so allow me to spin some truths to you.... "You are" what is right in this world a little Eva occupies. Without you, her would would be so much smaller. "In chaos there is peace".

I hope you can find comfort in these photos I'm attaching.
In tears loosing all I had written you
Just know
All was heard
And thank you for reminding me me who I am and what I stand for
With all my love
Me
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Old 09-17-2017, 11:04 AM #557
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Default

You are a kind and caring person Eva. And I am glad you are a my friend. Hugs.
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Old 09-17-2017, 04:43 PM #558
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by RSD ME View Post
You are a kind and caring person Eva. And I am glad you are a my friend. Hugs.
Loving you back
I so sorry for the distance
I think of so many I have come to know
So sorry
It is important at this so very difficult time
Today as I heard many reasons to be concerned
Cannot speak of it
All I ask i for prayers
Thatin a few weeks there will be relief to news that is so so so out of my control
Oh dear God how prayers that all be not the case at this time
It's so much
And then the babies mother
Not stepping up as that's what she asks for
And falls short
Happy to have you here for me friend
Love
Me
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Old 09-22-2017, 09:29 AM #559
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Default Oh my goodness

Is she that good and go as far as she did
To get as she put it
"I need this more for me"
Getting a text
"Can I come home for a few days"
What do you think my first question was
"Are you okay"
"Are you hurt"
I need to come home
And it all dissolved when I didn't have money to give but spent a gleeful night watching my grandchild and how the next few days could be like
Getting all ready to register for school all changed when I couldn't give her money
Gets on phone with the root of much what is going south
Daddy with the money
And changes what she asked for
OMG
What the f just happened
I could go on and on and on
Influenced by a young drinker
Who prefers vodka
To be 20 and have an acquired taste for vodka is a great concern
On every level
Asking my Heavenly Father to please not let go of me
To help me go through this accepting what I CANNOT change
And for it to not hurt so badly
And for her to not fall to hard
I believe the few understand what I mean
Thank you
That's all
Me
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Old 09-22-2017, 07:48 PM #560
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Default

Treating you with utter disrespect, so sorry Eva. No one should have to deal with behaviour like that.


Quote:
Originally Posted by eva5667faliure View Post
Is she that good and go as far as she did
To get as she put it
"I need this more for me"
Getting a text
"Can I come home for a few days"
What do you think my first question was
"Are you okay"
"Are you hurt"
I need to come home
And it all dissolved when I didn't have money to give but spent a gleeful night watching my grandchild and how the next few days could be like
Getting all ready to register for school all changed when I couldn't give her money
Gets on phone with the root of much what is going south
Daddy with the money
And changes what she asked for
OMG
What the f just happened
I could go on and on and on
Influenced by a young drinker
Who prefers vodka
To be 20 and have an acquired taste for vodka is a great concern
On every level
Asking my Heavenly Father to please not let go of me
To help me go through this accepting what I CANNOT change
And for it to not hurt so badly
And for her to not fall to hard
I believe the few understand what I mean
Thank you
That's all
Me
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i don't want to feel anymore-img_0928-jpg   i don't want to feel anymore-img_0929-jpg  
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File Type: jpg IMG_0921.jpg (192.7 KB, 12 views)
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