A dream
A very disturbing dream
Not much remembered
But lost of blood
Death
Murder of some kind
DonÂ’t know if I was the murder
Disturbing for certain
As it warms my spirit seems to have lifted just a tad
Is it that powerful
Just donÂ’t want to feel like I do
Oh how easy it is for my children to say
Mom if you feel that badly you should see a doctor
Really
Really
ItÂ’s been something I have done throughout my lifetime
And never has there been a breakthrough
Never
As a matter of fact my last psychotherapist for 7 years in the end was not helpful at all
Denying me deplin something in his opinion as he says dubiousin his opinion
I asked let me be the judge of that
Retired
Gone he is
Good riddance
As he did not listen to me if all the antidepressants he prescribed
And having to go through the withdrawals
Not him
Me
My mind and body
This depression is IÂ’m sure a result of environmental situational and family genetic
Having the idea that spring something short lived
Sometimes donÂ’t even experience it
Is enough to change how this mind works
Doctors they fit the most of my experience and but for the few who are on my train donÂ’t listen
Really
They just donÂ’t listen
Physically my body is so broken
The rain is coming down this morning
I must have slep wrong
My surgical site pinches with piercingpain depending hitch way I move it
So after dropping my granddaughter to school
And returning home
IÂ’m going back into bed
Hands and feet OOC
All around me are doing
As they have called upon me when crap hit their fan
And I am not even a thought
Anyone
Anybody
A
Anything I can do for you
Just to hear them words would be appreciated
Not the case
Go to the doctor
Well like I said
No monies to fall back on
Giving it to my family with the promise of returning it will never happen
And the copay was 15.00 dollars up now 25.00 way to much for this cookie
They will be spread far apart
ThatÂ’s just nuts
Depression always with me in one form or another
But holding on to Heavenly Father
Brush myself off
And one foot in front of the other
Me