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Old 11-10-2018, 08:10 AM #771
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Default

Oh, oh, oh ---- that is awful. I wish there were something I could say to make sense of this. I keep you in my prayers.
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Old 11-10-2018, 01:39 PM #772
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Default Off the hook

To be harassed in such a manner is more than I can stand
To keep a smile in my face while my youngest is torn to pieces remembering the day she walked out of the bathroom so high and Eva was just weeks old
To come up and visit is something she will never forget
Now this she is so distraught over the fact she is so unwell
There is nothing nothing I can do
There will come a time I will have to step in what will happen then
OMG what will happen then
To numb in this all teying sohard to keep it together
I just want to shake her
Numb I am
Me
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Old 11-10-2018, 10:20 PM #773
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Default Following through

Let them go I tell myself
Why am I stressing what has no meaning
The idea that they haven’t had a clue to this all
I me this woman calls it like it is
As I let it all out from the horses mouth no hidden crap just like it is
I me this woman will live with it
Hold it and kick it to the curbed
Let the clean sweep do with it whatever it does
I am so so done with them and not waiting for the emptiness to come
It’s over see you never
You have destroyed me
And I won’t let you all do it anymore
So the bulling stops now
Now
No more
Now and always to protect this child
Dear Father hold us in your loving arms let
NOBODY PENETRATE YOUR POWER SHE HOLD ME TIGHTLY
AND I HOLD YOU
ME
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Old 11-19-2018, 05:19 AM #774
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Default For the first time

I will not be at the table
All traditions gone
Out the window
I will not take out the ornaments
Each one has a meaning to it
In the box they will remain only to be opened when I’m long gone
It just to painful for ME to even touch them
One by one to remember as it was made given
Ever year a new one put on the tree to be found
I will not
WILL NOT
be at the head of the table
Let them all see there is someone missing
They may not even notice
Wouldn’t that be sad
I will be with my baby sister
Eva myself and my baby sister
I am so saddened by this all
I don’t want to feel anything anymore
It drains me so much
Having to keep a smile on for this child
She is fully aware of my heart and emotions
Empathy she has
Not her job
It’s bad enough I tackle depression
Doom that visits me every single morning
Having to fight it with all I can
Not easy
Heavenly Father I call upon
I ask for him to hold me so tight that it be the only thing I feel
I pray for it to leave my being
Difficult from time to time but I gotta do it daily
Sadness a horrible emotion

Wishing all a happy holiday
Holding on
Me
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Old 11-20-2018, 03:00 PM #775
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Default To the police station I went

I am tired of the constant harassment
Taken to far
Then to cus at me
Over child support
His explanation
I forgot
But doesn’t forget his cigarettes
Or hair cut before taking care of her
So let it all be on record
Something I had always wanted
But with all that’s going on with this body
Taking care of myself
Now we take card of this
He already body shamed her
Calling her the most boring kid in the world
A fight ensued you would think the other grandmother would remove her from it
Instead she hears him yell out at my daughter
You need to die
Done in everyway
And my child chooses him
I’m beyond beyond
So things are or will be taken care of
Just another day
Me
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Old 11-28-2018, 06:34 PM #776
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Default No call

Wasn’t thought of enough to call
Spent it with my baby sister three days
My youngest called
Was in her own world
Not enough time for anybody but herself
What happened to my family
I don’t get it
If I wasn’t a role model of being independent
And loving oneself
I failed
Me
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Old 12-02-2018, 12:14 PM #777
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Default Calling off the hook from facility

My baby sister called as she calls her too to get to me
Asking the facility to have her stop
I called my granddaughters lawyer for advisement
Tomorrow I will go to the court and file a report
And then to the child support department to take action
As this is month two no support
My two sisters have been helping
This is so outrageous
But am forced to do what I must
It just never stops
And I am so depressed over the crap
It must stop
Eva is doing sooooo well in school at home
Just leave us alone
Why is not a question to ask mentally ill parents
They want each other’s insanity
And want to make more babies
I was floored when she called me to tell me she is pregnant
And then it be false
I’m so tired of this all
Me
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Old 12-04-2018, 10:09 PM #778
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Default Did it

Filey report
She put it together
Worded it perfectly with the little time and space
I was in awe how to the point and how much was said
So I pray all will go accordingly
May the arms of Heavenly Father hold me ever so tight
That it be the only thing I feel
I will not ever ever reach out to my children ever
For them to forget how all really was
They are not babies
Manipulating they are
I go back in Tim and think of what I sacrificed
All for them and for what
I feel at time I have failed them
Just feelings not the fact of the matters
My body may be broken in everyway
But my mind doesn’t play tricks
May my granddaughter live happy in my care
So does so well in school
I am in love with her
She is a awesome kid of child
May I always be able to keep that going in her life
I pray that depression doesn’t visit me first thing when I stir
Me
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Old 12-23-2018, 09:16 AM #779
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Default Having to get away

How sad to have to leave the comforts of my own home
Not to be bothered or harassed is just not okay
But if this is the only way towards peace so be it
Will be spending Christmas with my baby sister
Mother and father did not follow through and mail their child support
But used my sister as their delivery system
Little did my baby sister know not to do their job
But whe the court date January 8th will just be one more thing to show how laxed they are to her needs
How or why my daughter thinks being involved with a man who has no problem calling me and voicing his sinister ways and tell me how he will cut her up put her in suitcases and doesn’t care if he goes to jail
This the father of my granddaughter
And she makes excuses for him
Blames herself is so sad
A horrible human being he is still to this day
I cannot condone this behavior and I never will
In today’s world not far from my fathers time in 1980 when he took a gun and killed himself
I thank Heavenly Father that he didn’t kill us first
It is close to my life as I lived it
To say he isn’t capable of doing such a desire to void of my child is foolish for anyone to think not
And she tries and tries to ram him down my throat
For my granddaughter to remember her father express in one of their arguments while the other grandmother who was supposed to be supervising them did not remove my grandchild and these are the words that are burned into her brain
Your mother needs to die
Imagine her coming back home to me in fear
A child’s father who tells her she is the most boarding child in the world
That daddy scares the kids in the park
That daddy pushes his mother physically to harm her
To call my granddaughter a lier
To teach her to lie
To tell her she has a big nose
And would ask me occasionally looking in the mirror
“Mimma do I have a big nose”
Already body shaming her
And I will do everything in my power to protect her
She says she doesn’t want to talk to them because they argue when she is on the phone
So I will not force her
And now they accuse me of brain washing her
My daughter forgets so much
The last time I attempted to bring mother and daughter together
I suggested we meet once a week at a diner in public
Her response
I’m not ready I’m not ready
That be the last of it and things just got worse
Because I of all needed to get a call saying she is pregnant
Still to this day don’t know if she is or not
But why tell me don’t worry you’ll live this baby like you live who is in my care already
To think she would bed with a horrible being just baffles me
As sick as this may sound
My other children tell me they will not have children
Relieved I am
To bring children into this world is not a place for them
When I have a grown parent who tells me at a Christmas play show me who you son is so I can beat the s**t out of him
To that I said
I see what kind of human you are pick on children
I was floored
I got to school early to sit at the back wall to be out of the way for people who I don’t walk fast enough for them
A kind man who sat next to me came to my defense
This coming from a parent
I wasn’t about to make a scene and called the principal and officer over a quickly took care of business
Sick of this cruel world and the parents who are the teachers to their children
Oh how Christ Jesus is missing in their hearts

To step away from my babies and not allow them to hurt me anymore IS the hardest thing I ever had to do

It depresses me terribly
But I be held by the most high
Jesus
Hold me so tight that it be the only thing I feel
Amen
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Old 01-11-2019, 06:06 AM #780
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Default Having a really difficult time

Went to superior court
Full circle
Like when I got divorced
And was seeking a restraining order
Never worked then
But to stand before a hearing officer with evidence
Not recent enough for them
But oh did it show all and what I was dealing with
Restraining order not granted
Ask if I wanted to go before a judge
Said yes
I felt like a fool
Told yo get a lawyer
Doing the right thing just doesn’t seem to matter
Contacted the guardian lawyer Magen for my granddaughter
Told me not to worry
I went down there to find out my daughter and the father who just for an example tell my grandchild
“ you the most boring kid in the world”
That’s just a taste
The last thing my granddaughter remembered was a altercation and he told her
“I hope your mother dies”
So he got wiser over these years
I did too
But because I just turned the answering machine off
And told him if they came to the house I would call the cops
Is where the lapse in time
But the court did not want to hear that
I was mortified
Beside myself
Was victimized over and over and over
So they are bringing me to court
My son 35 a heroin addict asked if he could stay here
I told him no
Wrote a letter on behalf of my daughter the I was lying when I told the court he would get into a altercation with my daughter call me tell me how he will chop her up into pieces put her in suitcases and doesn’t care if he went to jail
Write I made that up
Beside myself
What’s wrong with them
I don’t know and I have given up on any relationship with them
I have a incident report dats back 2007 when I was still working nights saying how he will come to my job kill me first then kill my daughter
This didn’t matter to the courts
So beside myself
But I will get a lawyer
And do all I must for my granddaughter and myself
Done
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