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11-30-2017, 06:59 AM | #91 | |||
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So I’ve looked at rentals, I’ve come back in and said why should I be the one to go, you can afford it, if I go I can’t have any of my animals for comfort, you said on Sunday you would go but you couldn’t take one of the dogs and I said no initially because I didn’t want you moving in with her. But you know what, you can go. You can pay for someone to do the pond or you can come once a week and do it yourself, I don’t care. I’m not going. Why would I pack up. You’re right you’re whinging that I went last time, so yes, why should I go again. Nope, you can go. I’m staying right here. You told her it’s my home and damn right it is my home. I said you mentioned gong on Sunday have you even looked at anything. No was the answer. I said well I have. I’m staying. You find somewhere. End of!
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I can still remember what life was like before pain became my life long companion Last edited by PamelaJune; 11-30-2017 at 07:20 AM. |
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11-30-2017, 08:00 AM | #92 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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11-30-2017, 11:55 PM | #93 | |||
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I’m trying, I’m taking the exact amount of painkillers I need to and they make it hard to function let alone hold a conversation or make decisions. What I do know is I know myself, he is in lust, it will wear off, I might not be willing to take him back when he comes to his senses, by then I will have begun to live a life not walking on eggshells in fear of tipping him over, not doing his animals, not getting him ready for work so he doesn’t lose his job, by then I might be happy to be just myself xxx
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I can still remember what life was like before pain became my life long companion |
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12-01-2017, 12:05 AM | #94 | |||
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He’s asked for my help to find places, I showed him a few & then said you have the general gist of it now. I closed my iPad and turned away closing my eyes. For too long he’s relied on me, no more. He can find how hard it is himself. He had a whinge it’s hard, I said yes, that’s why you’re doing it not me. I’m now well. You are. So he said he’ll go up the street and look in windows of real estate agents. I just said ok bye. And shut my eyes again. I did say earlier when I tried to talk to him, because he has made out to the counsellor it’s all my fault. I spoke evenly and said to him, I’m sorry if I’ve let you down, I have been very ill. You’ve been sober for 2 years, what’s your excuse. He is still in contact with the girl.
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I can still remember what life was like before pain became my life long companion |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | eva5667faliure (12-01-2017), RSD ME (12-01-2017) |
12-01-2017, 05:14 AM | #95 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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You get yourself well and as best you can You are the wife I would have been I remember getting oh clothes ready All he had to do was roll out of bed and shower Never again Never That is just me We are all different When my time came And I believe he had a fling with my sister They hung together While I took care of him and then three babies Never again The Spirit came over me And I packed his duffle bag Never again Love Me
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12-02-2017, 05:53 PM | #96 | |||
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There is a tightness in my chest, my breath hitches when other people tell me how sorry they are. He told me last night he knows it won’t last but he can’t help himself, the more people talk against her the more he wants to be with her.
I tried to explain the difference between lust and love, he just doesn’t get it. My head says I’m done, it’s been saying I’m done for the last 6 weeks when I noticed something going on. My heart, it deceives me, it hurts me when I least expect it. He holds me and hugs me, kisses me goodbye as he leaves for work, where I took these holds and made them myself for the last 2 years, now he comes to me and I melt in them. I am such a fool. I know I would forgive this transgression if she would leave him be, but she won’t, she is holding on tight with constant messaging and now new email mechanism calling herself Lilith. I assume he will tell his family tonight, they have messaged him but not me, I’m sure they will all be happy for him. Just broken with poor health wasn’t enough, poor poor DB he’s had to put up with soo much (she says sarcastically)
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I can still remember what life was like before pain became my life long companion Last edited by PamelaJune; 12-02-2017 at 06:52 PM. |
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12-02-2017, 07:45 PM | #97 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Nobody
Nobody PamelaJune Defines the woman you are and want to be and move ahead NOBODY you are someone who builds others up And that’s an awesome thing Never at your expense Never when it takes away from you It is suppose to build you up as you give of yourself It isn’t your job to teach him the differences on lusting He knew that as a kid And one doesn’t abandoned the other equal partner who should be complementing each other He took the easy road And has a young leach sucking the life out of YOU not him YOU YOU KNOW My intent is never to hurt anyone when down It is my job to lift you higher and higher You are PamelaJune You are someone’s thought You have a purpose Who the heck knows what that is at the moment But it is time for you to do one thing that is satisfying That feels good Something Find it And do it You have the strength you just don’t know it yet No coddling him No coddling him And screw her She whiggled her way inbetween the two of you and he let it happen Not your problem anymore Not your problem anymore What’s that saying You don’t know what you really had until one losses it And you are not going to loose yourself Not for anybody PamelaJune is the bomb And everybody best watch out Cause your not taking any of it anymore Unless that is what your used to and are willing to accept Kick butt girl Push that chest out as far as you can with all that pain it takes to do it Take all that negativity and make your life you want I love you dear sister I’m your friend Not you enemy I’m obviously angry for you Apologies if I’m crossing the line I just want you to see what you have been putting up with Not your job to fix him It’s your priority to fix you the best you can And it starts from the inside Your mind Is yours It’s yours Love you Me
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12-15-2017, 08:49 PM | #98 | |||
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Default Finding me posted in General mental health & emotional support
I’ve grappled where to post this topic, it’s painful to me, but not like the chronic pain I suffer from. It’s depressing and while I acknowledge I have depression it’s about a journey from depression to living a full life again, and nor is it a topic for alcohol, addiction and recovery. Well it is, but it’s no longer my need to document his journey backwards. So, I’ve opted for the forum General mental health & emotional support, I hope and pray NT’rs can continue to help me and offer support as I embark on this journey to finding me. I’ve used other forums on here and have always taken comfort in knowing I could turn to NT and it’s emotional support I need right now. I need to be able to write my journey and have advice and support from the community I turn to in need. I am need of emotional support. https://www.neurotalk.org/forum85/ I have no idea how to move forward in terms of making arrangements to be sure I am financially secure. And as I keep telling my family who tell me how easy it all is. I am still supposed to be in hospital, I am unfit and cannot bend or twist. I am emotionally ill, I’m suffering with severe depression and anxiety so my mental health is also unstable. I’m trying to work from home so I can at least have some semblance of income come in, I’m struggling to work and concentrate, I’m struggling with just living. Some days I eat, others barely anything at all. I have cared for this man for 25 years, I have put his needs before mine always, I was the good wife. Now I’m just a fool, discarded when I am at my weakest. So I’m inviting you to join me on the other forum and share your experiences and advice as I move forward. I understand if it’s too hard a topic for some of you to join me on and if you are unable to do so, please know, the advice and love you have shared with me over these last 2 years will always be treasured.
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I can still remember what life was like before pain became my life long companion |
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