[putterfit]

Last night I came close pulling the plug on my life for the third time. On top of the fact that I hate MS and my life, I also hate the fact that I give my soon to be ex so much power over me.

You see I still love her and I just hate divorce and giving up but I know that she is just like my Prostate Cancer and if left alone the both would kill me. The cancer has been radiated and that is what I must do with Anne but the trick is how does one do that after 26 years of being together and loving her through all the thick and thin.

Pretty much the only reason that nothing happened last night was that I was so fatigued from the stress that she caused that I could not get off the couch. The other reason was that I could not do it has to do with my friend Lynda and all of the pets that we continue to rescue and help on a daily basis.

I should have died a multiple number of times last year both by my own hand as well as various medical conditions but I did not. It was not my time but I am still searching for the reason that God has not taken me.