I never had problems leaving the house until I've been "away". I just feel like there's a stigma attached to it. I didn't want it that way but I had to protect myself. :o

No I don't get any newsletters because I'm afraid to read anything. It took me so long to except that I'm BP but this is so different. Grief and accepting a loved one's suicide is so hard to overcome and no amount of counseling will help. You have to do it yourself.

They knew about the BP because I was "away" that's why I was there. I was just so overwhelmed with everything. But they said Lithium is not for me and it's what almost killed me. Definitely not my mood stabilizer.

I wish I could help you more Ada with depression. It's a battle so I hope you have someone there for you. :hug:

I was turned up today and my throat is tickling like crazy. I was up almost all night last night for worry and the tickling. It's a battle but I can't give up on it yet. I wanted to go to the beach this weekend but my pdoc said not to go too far with the parameter change. So I can't. But she's going to check on me constantly to see how I'm doing which eases my mind a bit.

Hi Me BP,
 

How are you doing today? I am anxious to see how you are doing with the VNS turned up.

I was just thinking of my depression today and realizing how little this thing has done for me.

I am anxious to have mine turned up tomorrow. I just worry about the outcome.

You will most likely start getting newsletters soon. I didn't sign up for them, I think they are a package deal. I believe they come every 3 months.

I have several people watching me to see how mine does. It bothers me that I have nothing good to report about it. I have a nurse that is interested and a lady that works in the Drs. office for her sister-in-law. There are a couple of others I have met waiting to hear about how I am doing with it. I just hate to report anything negative so I am waiting awhile longer.

I sure hope yours helps you. I was told that it might not help me due to the extent of my depression but to me it was worth a try.

Hope you are seeing some better days.

Ada

Hi Ada. I'm not liking it at this setting. Every times it goes off I feel like I'm choking and can't breathe. I'm getting so breathless even just going up and down the steps. And I'm not sure if it's from this or the ECTs but I've had a headache since she turned it up. I was afraid to lie down last night because every time I did I felt like I couldn't breathe. So I slept in the recliner, well tried to.:Zzzz: I don't know what it is but I seem more depressed today but maybe it's from lack of sleep and frustration over my memory loss. It's so draining try to pull things out of your cob-webbed brain. :confused:

I'm trying so hard not to get discouraged and give this time to work. And I'm sorry to hear that's it not working for you Ada. Maybe when they turn it up?

Let me know how it goes tomorrow Ada. I hope it's easy for you. :hug:

Hi Again Me,
 

I didn't get the VNS turned up yesterday. I needed some triggerpoint injections for pain so he gave me those. I go back in tomorrow as his last patient so he can turn it up and stay with me for awhile to see how I do with it.

I will let you know tomorrow evening if I get everything done. My Grandson also has a football game tomorrow.

I hope you are having a better day.

Ada

Hi Me BP,
 

I got my VNS turned up tonight. It is messing with my voice more but it will take me a day or two to see how it is going to work.

My Dr. wants me on the Cpep machine but I have to find out if they have a mask that will work for me.

How are you doing with yours. Make sure you keep me up on it.

Ada

Hi Me BP,
 

I was wondering how you are doing with the VNS turned up. Mine isn't messing with my voice too much but I haven't been able to keep my Oxygen on all night. I end up jerking it off. Now my Dr. wants me to find out about a mask that will work with the CPEP machine. I'm doing some reserch on it.

As far as helping with the depression, it is not doing anything to help with it. I honestly thought he had turned it down because of the way I felt this morning when I woke up.

I hope you are doing better then me with it.

Ada

BP

Please call your doctor and get in and have some adjustments made.

Your VNS shouldn't be making you feel like your going to choke. It will
also add to the stress and depression issues.

I'm sorry ladies that your not having more relief from this.

Hopefully it will start to work with more time.

Donna

just a little update on bj. a lead came off and she was scheduled for surgery this last thursday.

i'll post a link to the thread in just a sec.

http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/sh...ad.php?t=28371

Hi Everyone,
 

I am sorry I haven't posted sooner. With the surgery last month and then my husband Bill will be gone a year on the 21st. The day before Thanksgiving. I am having a hard time with all of it. I wake up thinking of him and go to bed at night thinking about him.

We are having a family dinner on the 22. It's going to be rough. The main thing I have to do is keep up a front for my 2 grandson's. Dustin mentioned to me Tuesday night that he'd be gone a year this month.

The kids got me another vehicle and the boys are keeping Bill's truck to fix up. They didn't want us to sell it.

As far as the VNS. I am frustrated about it right now. I don't sleep at night. I wake up every hour or so . Last night I was waking up every 15 to 20 minutes. I woke up once thinking I had been sleeping for awhile and I'd been to sleep about 2 minutes. Did it again later on in the night.

It's only on .25. We are suppose to turn it up next Wed. but I am just so discusted with it. I keep saying I'm not going to give up on it, but I'm getting closer to saying lets turn it off.

I have several people around here following me to see how it's going to do so I don't know what to tell them.

I wish the company had come forward with more of the side effects instead of just saying, let's do it. I don't understand why no one called my Dr. nor me and told us about the side effects. There are a lot of them.

Anyway, I am still hanging in but it's been rough.

BJ, my friend, I PM'd you and have tried to call you, I hope you are doing better.

Ada

Ada

Ada I'm sorry the VNS is working for you either. I know it's supposed to take a while but it does get frustrating. I was hoping for this light to switch on and say all will be well but it hasn't happened. It's a constant struggle just to get up and go to that dreadful job. :( I wish I had known more about the side effects too. But everything was thrown at me and I didn't know which way was up. My sleep is so disturbed and I don't even know if I've been sleeping or not. :confused: And the constant tickle and hoarseness when it goes off is so annoying. I'm at .5 now and I think we're going up to 1.0 eventually. My doc said that it's "supposed" to be annoying but not painful. Yes, it's annoying that's for sure. :(

I know how hard this anniversary of your husband's passing will be on you. Just know that I'll be thinking of you on the 21st. Tomorrow is 2 years since I lost my dad and I can still see him lying in the ER like it was yesterday. :( I hope you are able to enjoy your Thanksgiving with your family. I know it will be hard but I know you can do it. :hug: