[summerfreeze]

Doubt I'll get a diagnosis here, but here are my symptoms. *admin edit* none of my doctors have ever been able to figure it out and I'm pretty much hopeless at this point...

Symptoms:
Severe apathy/abulia (I basically feel like I'm dead. Doing anything is no different from staring at a wall. I sit in my room all day and do almost nothing. This is different from depression because it's not associated with feelings of sadness, I literally feel nothing. The only thing I do during the day is walk the dog and the rest of the time I spend staring at the computer screen doing almost nothing. These symptoms get worse all of a sudden about an hour after I eat dinner at night, and my head starts to feel hurt and feel really strange. This severe apathy is normally symptomatic of damage to the frontal lobes of the brain but that's not the case in this case as both my MRI and CT scans were clean.

Sometimes I'll randomly start gagging, a lot of times after I got up from eating dinner, or after i started walking around.

constant weird sensations and pain on my scalp on the left side of my head

Periodic episodes of severe depression/anxiety where I have such a strong nervous feeling in my stomach that I barely eat anything.

I've done research and have been able to find nothing that fits my symptoms. I've already been tested for urea cycle disorders, Wilson's disease, and lyme disease and have had an MRI and a CT that showed nothing. My symptoms started ten years ago and I've been absolutely miserable ever since.

[Chemar]

Hi
Sorry to hear of the struggles you are having to get a clear dx

I do just want to let you know that our forums have patients (or their caregivers/loved ones) as members who share info, experiences and support with each other
We do not have professionals who can diagnose here

[Kitt]

Welcome summerfreeze.

[Angelita]

Hi Summer,
I'm sorry you're going through all of this. I'm not a Doctor so whatever advice I give is off my own back. You mentioned that you experience weird sensations on the side of your head? Have you checked 'Neuropathy' I often get tingles on my scalp in a specific spot. It's due to nerve damage. Perhaps that's what is causing some of your symptoms. Check it out if you can. Take care.

[Lara]

Have you been tested for Diabetes?
Have you had your B12 and Iron levels tested?

[kiwi33]

Hi summerfreeze

This is different from depression because it's not associated with feelings of sadness, I literally feel nothing.

Before my Major Depressive Disorder was diagnosed and treated that was how I felt - my mental health care team tells me that feeling "nothing" is often symptomatic.

It might help if you got your GP to refer you to a psychiatrist for a full assessment.

[EnglishDave]

Summerfreeze,
Like Kiwi33, I have been - and am now fighting - the same symptoms and I have a dx of Depressive Personality Disorder. I acknowledge I need Psychological help, but have been severly damaged by the last two. I still advocate Therapy for others despite my experiences, I just have to rely on strong ADs which don't touch the root cause.
Please get to your GP and ask for a referral to a Therapist, rarely does this go away on it's own.

Dave.

[Snoopy]

Hello summerfreeze and welcome to NeuroTalk.]

What you are describing sounds like emotional numbing. This can be caused by depression, feeling overwhelmed/burdened by life or even trauma.

Please seek out a Psychiatrist for a proper evaluation and treatment. There is help for you.

Take care

[Littlepaw]

Welcome Summerfreeze,

I agree that the feeling of apathy you are describing can be indicative of depression. Not all people experience sadness or tearfulness. Fatigue, loss of enjoyment and interest in activities, loss of motivation, emotional flattening, sleep and appetite disturbance - too much or too little, nausea, withdrawal from life by isolating...all of these are symptoms of depression. In some presentations of atypical depression, anxiety is a strong feature. I would not rule out this possibility. Talk with your doctor and remember that therapy and antidepressants go hand in hand. Sometimes antidepressants are needed to allow the therapy to work if a person is so low that participating is difficult.

I would also encourage you to explore the possibility that the nerve symptoms you describe, headache etc may NOT be related to the emotional flattening. You could have two different things going on. Be mindful of meds that might be prescribed for nerve symptoms, some of them can lower mood. Some antidepressants can address both nerve pain AND mood.

Sending Healing Love and hoping you find relief soon,
Littlepaw

[summerfreeze]

Didn't mention this, but I've been on at least 20 different medications, these medications including every class of anti-depressant that exists. Tricyclics, MAO inhibitors, SSRIs, an SNRI, and wellbutrin. I've also been on lamictal, adderall, ritalin, etc. None of these have made any dents in the "apathetic" aspect of this. my apathy is closer to the abulia seen in frontal lobe disorders than it is to depression, judging by what I've read on the internet. I do see a psychiatrist, he has no idea what is wrong with me either and he's honest with me about that fact.