[frankduff]

I had brain tumor surgery and I have brain injury from the surgery I am very greatful just to be alive! I am having problems relating ideas and I repeat thing and obcess about certain thingsa that I get on my mind my rommate has noticed this andshe was really cocerned we had a disscussion and she is mad at me for saying that I am not dead and I have needs to she said that she provides evrything for me except Physiacl needs. She is a very loving person and Yes I do love her she is my Best Friend I quess she still is. I dont do well with arugements, I have been very upset all day. Because I know she wont say anything is she didnt care. I quess its just hard to be around me sometimes. I am doing the best I can do. akot of people I found out with brain Injusry are not doing as goodn as I am. I need help with this and I have told my VA Case Manager that I wanted a thearapest to talk sbout my issues and my Recovery isues in the Brain Injury Area. I know I need help it has also affected my sexual fuctions I can get an erection but I cant come. This is really embarising and I have talked to my case manager about it and my Nero Doctor at thje VA too, the only thing they said was Did I have someone I could ask out to see a movie or just hang out and I said no.She said what about your roommate and I sad she has been working hard and doesnt hve time for me right now. She has her ex boyfriend whatever he is now over here and I am alone agian They are having a caroling thing at the AA clubhouse tonight but I am not driving again today I have taken my pain meds Perocet and right now I am still in pain just from walking sround today taking pictures of downtown which is something I have wanted to do and i myspace.com/frankduff here so if you look under photos then the downtown folder it is there.This is one of the hobbies that I am trying to devlop so that I will have something to do. I wish I could drive there tonight but I dont want to take the risk of getting a ticket for DUI. ao I will stay home again Alone it sucks not dating and thats what we were talking about she thinks I dont need to date I need to focus on my medical issues and get them resolved well that could be another year before I would even have a chance of a hip replacement and that is not even been put in the VA system as a treatmaent option yet. I have a flrou injection scheduled for march of next year 2008. That seems a long way off when you are in chronic pain, and even the medications are not working I just wanted to get out today and if I did go back tonight It is going to be cold and I know what the pain is like in the cold so driving is out, which means I cant go, the cold if I did go, and the being alone here even if I have a roommate they are staying in her room and not around me. I feel real alone this christmas she is mad at me I dont have any other friends, I dont have a Girlfriend to call up I did call someone who I meet on myspace and she is only one hour away 60 miles so I am hoping that after the holiday we can get together I dont have anyoine in Gainesvilee that I can pick up the phone and call to come over ands see me. We just talked and she said that I am repeating things and I need to get to my own AA meetings i cant go with her to all the same meetings so I just want to go with her so that I can take my Pain meds and be not in pain.