[mikhail.tomasovic]

it has been over one year since i visited these forums and i tried to make a new log-in name just to find out to my surprise i had one already. i noticed that i had a private message after setting up my account again, and i read your kind words. i cannot express how much i appreciate what you said, although it has been some 17 months since i visited.

since that time i have progressed very rapidly, i was turned off of this forum because some members acted as though i did not deserve any kind of help because i did drugs and was a junkie. i can report happily that i am on a drug called suboxone for my addiction, and i do not ever want to use heroin or other opiods again.

the good news is i had been progressing extremely rapidly after moving in with my girlfriend in january into our own apartment in new orleans. i walk around the house by myself while holding my walker up off the ground, having to nearly never put it down. the only times i need to use it is when i become very anxious. after getting off much of the medication i was on i began to see things more clearly, my balance has drastically improved (still needs a little bit of work, but is definitely good enough to walk even up and down hills and uneven surfaces) and my anxiety has become a bit more manageable.

i began to see a doctor who specialized ONLY in brain rehabilitation and another doctor who is a neuropsych specialist (one of the best in the south, both of them are in the top 5). dr. bianchini is the neuropsych and dr. glynn is the tbi rehab specialist.

what i learned from dr. glynn first was if i had a hypoxic brain injury EVER (from the overdose), i certainly do not have any traces anymore (from mri, ctscan, eeg, etc..) and furthermore i do not seem to have any symptoms of a brain injury period, so he could not work with me. he instead referred me to dr. bianchini to work on the massive anxiety disorders i have and he did a battery of tests on me. i suffered from a seizure last may around this time of year actually (hypoglycemic seizure, i have since been diagnosed with that as well) and i was able to walk PERFECTLY FINE for about five weeks. i used no assistive device and walked around almost at a jogging pace outside in the grass and inside was a bit more careful. for some reason my anxiety increased drastically again and i was left with the same problem.

dr. glynn, dr. bianchini, dr. ewin (neurosurgeon and hypnotherapist), and dr. fiore all concurred that my problem was not physiological and instead stemmed from anxiety. they could not tell me what caused the anxiety though, and they were treating it but are still baffled about the root of it. i decided to go to rehab for my strong addiction to heroin (the root of this problem i have been having for the past 3.5 years) even though i had not used heroin since the overdose... i still used some prescription pills for pain but i liked them way too much for comfort, so i am in an eight week Intensive Outpatient (IOP) program at Touro hospital here in new orleans. dr. wetsmann, the doc at the rehab center, has put me on suboxone (as i mentioned earlier) for the heroin addiction and i have noticed extreme improvement in my daily life. i am much more motivated, i am moving better, i am driving by myself and actually going places on my own. i still have the anxiety though, and i lock up and fall sometimes like yesterday.

what happened yesterday was hard for me because i have been making such strong steps forward. my fiancee was involved in a debate online about religion and i decided to put my $0.02 in and help her argument out. the guy whom she was arguing with knows me and was actually a good friend of ours for some time so he knows a lot about my condition and how it had been progressing. he called me a cripple, which i kind of laughed off but i guess it struck a chord in me and i began to believe it i guess. i fell about ten minutes later in the kitchen just from locking up, i was kinda foolin around high stepping and kicking my walker and stuff and i suddenly locked up and fell backward, hitting my elbow and back on the ground. it hurt but it hurt my confidence more. i got up and got ready and left with my fiancee and good friend to show them the house that i am planning on buying. while we were there i began to feel anxious for some reason, and my confidence was already a bit shaky because of the fall in the kitchen, and while walking out my walker (which i hold up in the air, i don't use the wheels or anything and it rarely touches the ground) got caught on some of the weeds in the garden... it pulled and i felt it get caught and it threw me off a bit and i locked up and fell forward bashing my face into the concrete and i got some bad raspberries on my hands as well. i have a knot on my cheek and a large scrape and it felt like i could have knocked my jaw out of place... needless to say, i lost a LOT of confidence from that and when i got home and went to walk into the door of my apartment (something i do many times a day, never with any difficulty) i felt like i was going to fall again and of course if you think you are going to fall, you will... and i did fall forward kind of twisting and busted my right elbow on our foyer. that really effected me and i began to sob heavily for quite a while... i was just so upset and heartbroken (not realizing that it is only events from one day and i would be fine again).... i went to bed and was upset last night, but i reassured myself and today i am doing well again but a little bit anxious and my confidence has been effected a tad bit... but i feel like i am doing better again.

my whole thing now is what is causing my problem??? i believe that when i overdosed i somehow messed up my dopamine receptors causing the MAO (i believe) inhibitors to not work correctly. my locking up and everything from anxiety, low blood sugar, lowered libido, lowered motivation, etc... are all symptoms of a dopamine deficiency not to mention my opiate addiction. what do you think? is that plausible? have any of you ever seen something like this?

to add a bit to this (it was originally a pm), i have been applying for jobs since starting on suboxone and have been a lot more motivated. does that help any at all?

thank you so much,
Mikky

[mikhail.tomasovic]

i might also add that periodically throughout the day i begin to feel a sense of euphoria, as if i am loaded off drugs... i don't understand why this comes and goes but it seems to occur either before or directly after i have some sort of anxiolitic episode...

[mikhail.tomasovic]

no thoughts at all?

[love2laugh]

Have you had any tests done to rule in/out problems with your dopamine receptors ?

Could your medications factor into this ? I know some medications can have weird side effects.

Or, it could be, as you mentioned several times, due to anxiety and stress.

Just my .02....

L2L

[mikhail.tomasovic]

thanks for your response L2L. i haven't had any tests for my dopamine receptors yet... but my psychiatrist who is administering the suboxone has told me my neurochemistry seems to be leveling out. now, i am going to see a psychiatrist on friday who specializes in psychosomatic manifestations. he will be able to tell me a lot more and will probably want to look at all the factors you mentioned (i.e. dopamine receptors, medical interaction, etc...). so i will see what he has to say



thanks a lot guys,
Mikky

[mikhail.tomasovic]

guys much to my chagrin i learned today there are no tests that can be done to test dopamine levels... how is this possible? it seems as though any other level can be tested but dopamine/serotonin cannot? how am i ever supposed to find an answer to this then????

[pabb]

Originally Posted by mikhail.tomasovic

guys much to my chagrin i learned today there are no tests that can be done to test dopamine levels... how is this possible? it seems as though any other level can be tested but dopamine/serotonin cannot? how am i ever supposed to find an answer to this then????

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/e...cle/003561.htm

[mikhail.tomasovic]

pabb thank you for that information but that is not a dopamie levels test that is a test for tumors in children and young adults...

[pabb]

Originally Posted by mikhail.tomasovic

pabb thank you for that information but that is not a dopamie levels test that is a test for tumors in children and young adults...

from what i read that is the USUAL reason it is done, but if they can test the level for any reason, why not for you?

[diff_diag1]

Originally Posted by mikhail.tomasovic

it has been over one year since i visited these forums and i tried to make a new log-in name just to find out to my surprise i had one already. i noticed that i had a private message after setting up my account again,.....
thank you so much,
Mikky

Hi Mikky,
I can understand your frustration. But if you dont mind could you post a little more history and what happened before this. I assume from you post you have posted it here before but I was not able to find the full details here. If you can just copy paste the details in a chrnological order I think it might help us better to try and undersand whats going on. **