theloney1, let me go back a bit. He got upset, because, I spoke with
mutual friends, regarding, things that he'd shared with me, because,
he kept coming to me, so upset and I didn't know how to help him.
So, I tried to go to some mutual friends for some advice.
So, he sees it as, I broke his confidence. Which, looking back, I do,
understand. So, I've written an e-mail of apology, but, haven't heard,
back, yet. Ger, these are groups for people with mental illnesses.
I have Depression and anxiety. He suffers from Schizo-affective (sp?)
Disorder. I don't know, anymore!?!

Phyllis

It just seems that this has caused you so much extra stress and anxiety. I do understand the type of group you are with; but you also are a part of that group as well. It seems unfortunate that it is causing so much extra stress. All the more reason for trying to understand one another because they should also be aware of what this has done to you.

Has any of the "mutual friends" come to you and apoligized and said they were sorry for telling your "friend " what you disclosed to them?

Hope I'm am not upsetting you; just want you to know there is dialogue here.While not part of any group do have, as well as one of my daughters, some emotional/anxiety issues myself.

I haven't said anything to them, because, they could, easily, tell me,
they never said, anything. And I have no way, to prove, they did.
Then, it would start a whole new issue. This whole thing started,
because,be was so upset, because, he was going through so much
and wanted answers from me, about, how to deal with his situation.
and I felt so helpless, because, I didn't have the answers, so, I went
to a couple of mutual friends, hoping, they'd know what I could say/
do, to help him. Now, he feels, I betrayed his confidence. He doesn't
understand, I was only, trying to help him. I mean, I know, he feels
betrayed, but, he won't discuss it with me, so, I can try to get him
to understand!

Phyllis

It wouldn't be a good idea to discuss this any further with the mutual friends. Best just to let it go or as you say, it would only make matters worse.

Maybe he, like many men, is quite private and there's a good chance he really did not expect you to solve things for him; but maybe he just needed someone to listen and kinda vent and felt he could do that with you. Try, if possible, not to bring this matter up because it just reminds him all over again. It's just going to take some time for him to get over this. Hopefully it will become a faded memory.

Take care of yourself.
Ger

Phyllis

Hard as it will be you are going to have to let it go. When he is around,
try to make contact. And when he is ready he will talk.

Its going to work out.

Donna

*I*, have, let it go. I mean, I never mention it to him. I just don't
like the fact that I've caused him to distrust me, now, so, he doesn't
feel like, he can confide in me, anymore.

Phyllis

Phyllis

How are you doing? Let us know.

You are such a caring person.

Donna

I "care" a *great* deal about, *this*, person! It has *nothing*, to
do, with being caring! ...Lol Anyhow! Now, he won't share with me,
anymore, bcuz, he *thinks*, I was too "clingy", when, I only wanted to
be treated as, I knew, he was treating some of our mutual friends!
This whole thing started over, F. / B. . He'd put a *bunch* of our mutual
friends on his F./B. "friends" list. However, he wouldn't add *me*, so,
naturally, I was hurt and couldn't understand his reasoning?!?
Anyhow! Now, he thinks, I was being too "clingy" as, he put it!
However, *he*, was the one, who was *constantly, talking to me about,
a *horrible* time, he was going through. So, I guess, I came to care
about him a little too much, since, he was coming to me, 24/7, and
*constantly* telling me how, he was hoping, I'd be on-line because,
he really needed to talk! Long story, short, he's added me to his
"friends", list, but, I haven't seen him, yet, so, we shall see!!
Sooo,...sorry, you asked?!?...Lol Thanks so much!!

Phyllis

Okay! Here's the deal! I attend some support groups for various
mental health conditions.
__________________________
Okay. Here's the deal: Attending support groups for whatever reasons, be it e.g. Al-Anon, whatever, in my experience, has very basic confidentiality 'ground rules', re: "What's shared here, stays here!"
It's what allows such groups to actually function vs. dysfuntion.
(I, a woman, would feel similarly "respect & confidentiality breeched" in a similar experience, no matter *how* good/close that friendship.)

You do obviously care greatly about your friend. I wish you healing within your friendship.

He was sharing them, privately, on facebook

Phyllis