Amen to that!

Had the “tweaking” done yesterday, no swollen face today. And I went to the dentist to have the small filling. It was not too bad, although I took 10mg Valium to get through it. The scans look positive and the moulds were taken to get the Invisalign ordered from the US. She thinks I can get away with the cheaper option $4500 and tells me I will have buttons as well. So now to google buttons / Invisalign. Feeling positive.

Pam,
A little off the subject; but wanted you to be aware that Niggs posted a few poems yesterday. That may give you change of pace thinking/relfecting on the poetry. He always enjoys your responses.

Pam,
Has the politics settled down about the upcoming 6 month position? I would imagine that can be a bit uncomfortable.

Also wondering how the "tweaking" is coming along. Are you happy with the results?

You should be getting your Invisalign soon as well. I think it's great that you are actually doing the things you had been thinking about. So often we think/say we should do this or that; and never happens.

The politics are in high play and yes it is very uncomfortable. I am reminded daily how petty controlling individuals can be when the don’t get their own way & witnessing the lengths they will go to in order to wrest control back again. All the toys have been tossed out of the pram. Writing this reminded me of an Australian band Skyhooks and lead singer Shirley singing Ego is not a dirty word. I just listened to it, took me back to the 70’s in a flash.

Tweaking... I can see how some can be drawn into just a bit here & there and then some more and more. I’m happy with what I’ve had done but won’t be having more. The memory of that first day still sits with me.

The Invisalign should be soon, I’ve not heard from them, we have had a few public holidays so that always slows things down. I had hoped to have started before going FT.

I am glad that you are a Skyhooks fan.

When I first came here (Adelaide) I went to a Skyhooks concert and my first Aussie Rules Grand Final :).

Pam,

Has the original partner assured you the 6 months position is still yours? It's obviously an attempt to see how well you can manage the position and is a temporary way to find out. Sad when "power play" gets in the way.

I have to admit; not sure what "all the toys have been tossed out of the pram" means...?

Hopefully the negativity at work does not take away your enthusiasm. Along with other qualifications, your enthusiasm is probably one of the reasons you were asked in the first place.

Obviously the first tweaking was pretty painful. Are these Botox injections?

I know this is not an easy time for you; pray you can stay focused on the positive.:hug:

Position is mine, I start this Thursday... my role has not been filled. It has crossed my mind this may be what they are doing...

Oh dear, all the toys tossed out of the pram, it’s a temper tantrum designed to get attention. Just like children do when they throw their toy from the high chair, cot or pram, mum or dad or whoever picks the toy up. All toys means no one has been picking them up. Sorry, not sure what country I learned that one from.

The filler that hurt after & caused the huge swelling was what she put in my cheeks & was a part of the breakdown in communication where I wasn’t expecting it, I remember she numbed the cheeks with some anaesthetic. It’s not Botox, that went in my forehead & caused no pain or swelling.

In the big scheme of things I’m doing ok, I am worried about the FT work but I’ll just have to get on & do my best.

You are a good friend to ask Gerry, I appreciate it very much.

Pam,
I love the explanation about all the toys tossed out of the pram. Does not matter what country you may have learned this from. I think I may have to use it myself. I can brag; I learned this from a friend in Australia....

You just go in on Thursday with your head held high and show you are ready for whatever your role may be. You may even have to be the adult picking up some of the toys these childish antics have displayed.

Two days into working FT. It is so strange to be doing HR things again, it is very much like riding a bike, you just get on with it. I rearranged the furniture in the office to make it my space and feel quite positive.

I must follow up wth the dentist.

That is really great Pam :).

When I was working I rearranged my office to suit me (with nice chairs for visitors of course) ;).

Pam,

Good to hear from you.

Two days in and you have the weekend to recover. You are already moving the furniture and making it "your space"...

Hopefully the politics have subsided.

Please keep us updated.

Gerry

2 weeks in and all is well, I’m incredibly tired, but I suppose that is to be expected. I find it hard to get to the gym to get these darn rehab exercises done, will be forcing myself out the door this morning...

I should have my first Invisalign tray within the fortnight. She thinks I should be able to see real results by the end of March and likely be done within 14 weeks. Fingers xd that’s true, it will cost less!

Pam, that all sounds really positive to me :).

Pam,
Feeling incredibly tired is very understandable. Do you have to be in the office every day or can you work occasionally from home? Also, how are the pain issues?

Hope all works out with the Invisalign tray. Being able to see results by the end of March and done in a few months will be great.
Results, plus costing less is of course a real plus.....

Gerry

So so tired, pain in my upper back and too tired to do my rehab exercises, but needs must. Come home & all I want to do is sleep, sadly it alludes me as I watch the clock tick over.

The work is fine, I enjoy it, I love to do what I do, I just can’t. Reality is a b1tch. Hope my back muscles get stronger over the next few weeks.

Pam,
It appears you are mentally capable; but unfortunately working full time in your condition is exhausting. Obviously being overtired you are having a problem sleeping.

As difficult as it must be, the exercises/rehab needed are so important.

Pray all will soon pull together.:hug:

Gerry

I have been out for lunches and dinners more in this past fortnight than I have in the last 2 years (excluding the anniversary week). It goes with the job, I had forgotten how much going out was associated with it :eek:

Today I’m in a lot of pain, my back is aching from sitting on an uncomfortable pub outdoor dining chair & having to lean in to hear my girlfriends talk last night. I drove & had a small glass of prosecco, but wow, the pressure on me to not drive so I can drink next time... not only my family, but it seems my friends all believe I gave up alcohol for DB. It was my choice. An odd glass of wine here & there is enough for me, I have no desire to “get drunk or tipsy” yet here they are making plans for me to sleep over, or take Uber’s next time. Very sweet & kind of them but I know the headache & pain I will suffer the next day. Too much drink has never been my friend, I get up & dance & move around like I have no health issues. The next day I pay for it. I can’t help but wonder if I must be a very boring sober companion. Anyway, to appease them I just agreed, nodded and smiled away. By 8.30 I had my first “I want to go home thought” with the drinking comments starting to annoy me. I stayed until 11 & was home by 11.30. Don’t get me wrong I had a good time & to see my friends was lovely. Next time I won’t be sitting, I’ll stand! Oh & I will still be driving & not drinking lol.

We signed to put our 2nd home on the market yesterday morning, photos will be taken mid week & it will be officially advertised by next weekend. I had a little cry after we signed. The house & area all remind me of dad & my childhood, yesterday likely being the last time I will go down there. It’s still a lovely beachside town, yachts, cafes, dolphins. Leaving town I had a huge lump in my throat & felt hollow.

So I imagine the drive down south & back including going out last night have combined to deliver the back pain I have... but it was all worth it in the long run. The house needs to be sold, and I must keep up & make the effort to see my friends. They are very good to me :)

All that sitting on a bar stool....Ouch!!!!! You may have to opt out every now and again. What are you taking to help with pain issues?

It appears you are getting along well with the job and are able to keep up with the work requirements in spite of you medical/pain issues.

Was the house you put on the market your childhood home?


Gerry

The house went on the market on Wednesday and we signed papers accepting an offer yesterday. $7k less than what we wanted. $7k in the big scheme of things is not the end of the world. Settlement in 21 days. Accepting the first offer, many will say why, you could have got more. Maybe, but with the tenant moving out on the 24th, I will have had to go down and clean, get a gardener in to tidy up, replace the carpets and curtains and also do some paint touch ups. Plus pay the mortgage without the weekly rental income to assist until another suitable offer comes in. The average time houses on the market for the suburb is 73 days. I think we made the right call.

So all being well the house will be finalised by April 6th and we will be mortgage free. As sad as I am to see the final tie to where Mum & dad lived gone, I am relieved to no longer have the burden. DB said yesterday we hadn’t seen the house since she moved in October 2012. That’s correct & in that time I’ve done everything by phone or email and carried the stress of hoping she wasn’t trashing the place because I was to ill to go down and do inspections. So yes, I definitely think we made the right call.

Pam, that sounds good to me.

I hope that the "clean-up" of the property isn't too stressful.

All being well with the sale going through in the hoped for timespan, there should be no cleanup required. The sale is “as is”. I am hopeful it will go our way.

Things are coming together. The sale of the house will be by April 11th and we will be mortgage free, well until the tax man says pay up on capital gains. I’ll have to borrow to pay my share.

I have got my aligners and she still says 14 weeks, so I’ve had them in for a week, 13 to go. I confess some days they really bother me, and sometimes I forget they’re there. Last night they were bothersome... oh well it will be worth it!

DB and I see each on the weekends, I’m not sure what will happen, we start counselling end March /early April. I was bemused to hear him tell my mother last night he’s moving back at the end of May, well he said it depends on her, if she will have me. Got that right!

That all sounds really good Pam.

I hope that you and DB can work something out which works well for you.

:hug:

The investment house is sold and the pond is now gone. I am hopeful these 2 things gone will bring some peace to my life. I can live in hope.

The aligner braces are going well, I’m on my 3rd set and have to put new ones in every Tuesday morning for the next 6 weeks. They are fiddly and I’m fast becoming over cleaning my teeth every time I eat or drink something. But I’m sure by the time July rolls round I will be happy.

Pam,
How is work coming along? I remember your mentioning full time has been difficult because of pain issues. Hope all is going well for you...

Gerry

It’s tough Gerry, much tougher than I anticipated, and I am so very tired. My sleep patterns remain severely disrupted, I awake 3 or 4 times a night, rise between 4 & 5am because I just can’t go back to sleep. My brain is like a racetrack with thoughts constantly circling. The job itself mentally draining and while I enjoy it, I confess to feeling overwhelmed. The admin support I was promised has been missing and even though they say tap into it, when I ask it bounces back or is exorbitantly slow in being actioned. It will possibly be extended for a further 4 weeks post end June and of course there is no guarantee my old job will exist. This one I’m doing certainly will not. I must live for each day now, it’s pointless looking ahead. Nothing I imagined in my life is as it was so there is little point to plan.

Pam,
It's been a while since you last posted an update.
You had mentioned you and DB were going to go to counseling. How are things coming along between the two of you. Is he still hopeful moving back in at the end of May?

Work appears to be both physically and mentally exhausting. After this position is through; do you think you will be able to return to part time work?


Gerry

I’m not sure work wise Gerry, apparently I’m doing a good job and they want me to stay on, I just deal with one day at a time, it’s impossible to plan with so much happening in the organisation.

DB, last month I told him it was over, finito, finished and cut all contact. My actions must have scared him into facing reality.

He has moved home this weekend and i have agreed we will go to counselling. Time will tell. I didn’t want him to move back home, and repeatedly told him to stay where he was but as I have found out, I couldn’t prevent it. He is in a very dark unreadable place, suicide is a reality and life remains difficult.

I must be an unusual person, moving back here, all that he bought has come with him, seeing the things he bought to set up home has really revealed to me how manic he was in his behaviour. I can see he had hopes and dreams for a different life and I can find it in my heart to feel sad for him those dreams were unreachable.

I can’t shake the feeling his moving back here is for him to get his life back on track. From the day he left and said he wanted a break, he’s not gone a single day without attempting to contact me. Perhaps he sees me as his lifeline, but one thing I do know, and I’ve made it clear. I am not the woman I was. If he wants to live here, he has to live with who I am now. If he can’t deal with that, tough luck. his actions helped me find me again.

Pam, I really admire your strength.

:hug:

Amazing how true it is
To go through all that and find that person that has always been in there
You are who you are for YOU
that’s the difference
He must accept that
Like it or not
Lovely lady
So proud you got there
Enjoy life on its terms
The only way to do it all
Much love
Me

Living a comfortable life remains a challenge, working full time is hard, but I am enjoying the work I do. Once I get the admin support sorted I believe it will improve.

DB spent an hour with the GP on Tuesday and has finally gone back on his medication.

I reported Miss BO to the police last night after more harassment and subsequently realised a post I once made could allow her to know so much more about me. I’m going to write to admin and see if it can be edited. If it can’t be, I may have to cease using NT.

Fingers crossed 🤞

I am pretty sure that the Admins will agree to edit your post or move it off the public part of NT if you would prefer that.

:hug:

Whew, they can edit it. Chemar is my life saver

I’m going home
 

Didn’t think I would ever go back, but here I am at the airport ready to fly to the UK. Father in Law very unwell, flying home to help resettle him. Will be the last time I see him alive, prognosis not good.

Life has moved on, my contract been extended for another 3 months, rumour has it I’m required to stay on. One day at a time.

Pam, that sounds encouraging about your job.

Your trip to England won't be easy. As ever, my thoughts will be with you.

:hug:

Gosh it’s tough, poor old dad remembers me but forgets who DB is sometimes. SIL is creating so many difficulties and went off at me on the phone yesterday. I’ve said to the brothers don’t ask me to answer the phone again, nor open the front door. She says to me what she wouldn’t dare say to them and I’m biting my tongue to say nothing. I’m here to support DB, his father and brother in whatever decisions they make for his best care. I got blamed for his dinner going dry, food she says is more important than him having his medication and a shower. He hadn’t washed in 3 days under her care nor had a change of clothes. He has an infected toenail which may need surgery if we can’t get it right.

It is good that the brothers are stopping SIL from giving you aggro.

:hug:

It’s so much worse than we were led to believe. DB down at his house again tonight, he stayed there Sunday night but here at BIL last night and dad spent the night out roaming goodness knows where, the state of his clothes, he’s fallen, he’s been in mud up to his knees, cuts all over his arms and one leg (amputee 25 yrs ago) we took him to the GP this afternoon and back for bloods in the AM. I’ve made an appt to try to get him on the transfer list to move, and he wants to move. SIL in riot mode over it, making it all about her...yet where is she when he’s out wandering, passed out without a care. BIL on the verge of a breakdown, took yesterday and today off, wages he sorely needs. It’s a sad and sorry mess. I checked his bed, he hadn’t even been in it. We’ve thrown his shoes and shirt out, the trousers will be salvageable after a wash but so much mud, he must’ve been in the creek somewhere...all he can say is he hopes he’s not in trouble or hurt anyone - so sad.

Pam,
I didn't realize your father in law live alone. If so; it appears he might need to move to a care facility. If SIL is so concerned about a move, maybe she would like him to move in with her. Situation with SIL does not sound good.
Very sad.

Gerry


Gerry