Kiwi, I would welcome your blunt assessment of this young woman and equally what I find confronting may well be the help I need in the healing process to find me again. A young friend of mine listened with horror as I gave a very skimmed version of his departure and she said to me, all I’ve heard is your concern for him, nothing of yourself, and it’s true, I’ve lost who I am in my efforts to be strong enough to deal with all my issues on my own these last 25years and carry him. So yes, I will value and treasure all you can offer and give. It’s what I need.

I have just now received this email from him to give an example of how detached he is and the world he’s living in.

“Sorry to keep sending emails. Did you pay my psych appt yesterday if not I will pay tonight But can you print out and keep for reclaiming Thanks. And What account do you want A to pay the rent into - the one she used to use. It’s more money towards the mortgage”

His Psych didn’t send me the a/c for yesterday, she knows I’m no longer responsible for his bills. He has moved out with A elsewhere, the account A used to pay rent into, and that would be 3 times in the 3 months she lived here, we closed on Thursday. Is he nuts, or is it just me??

This is how he was when he was in the deepest grips of alcohol, not thinking things through. As if his ex wife would be paying his ongoing psych appts that he’s attending after he’s moved out. As if I’m going to give over account numbers for her to pay money towards “our” mortgage, something she could use later down the track, oh I paid towards the mortgage...

He sent the email at 10.33, he is at work today and it pinged on my personal phone, my personal phone has never been set up to receive emails or ping on their arrival. But as of Thursday while we were at the bank, my phone now gets email alerts. So I have not answered the email. The phone rang at 11.22am, it will have been him, he always rang me between 11and 11.30am. I didn’t answer.

She has told people in our local community I’m an evil old woman, I’m violent and aggressive and have kept him a prisoner for the last 2 years making him go to work and not letting him go out.

I am truly frightened of this girl.