Pamela, it is good that you and your dogs survived the weather and that your sister is coming round .

It might be an idea if you got urgent advice about the money things. This is not about me but my story might give you some context.

I have been separated from my wife for about eight years. I think that we just grew apart and, with the power of 20:20 hindsight, there are things which we both could have done differently. We have a joint bank account with a lot of money in it. Sometimes either of us needs to make an unusually large withdrawal from it. Out of mutual respect we always check with the other first and the response is always the same; "Yes, no worries.".

It worries me a lot that DB is taking a lot of money out of your joint account without checking with you first. It does not seem fair to me. Can you get legal advice and/or talk to your bank about this?

With care and concern.

I’m going to the bank again after I’ve seen the psych, he is going there on Wednesday to get his new credit card application completed but I want to do exactly that, I want to ask how I can prevent him from just helping himself. We agreed he could use the credit card until he got his own issued, but I don’t recall saying he could use the equity with apparent abandon....

He rang the landline at 10.53, I didn’t answer but he left a message and sounded very concerned, he then immediately rang my work mobile which I was using at the time of his call to the landline and left an equally concerned message. Given my sister will be here tonight, I opted to send a brief email just in case he decided to come over to check. I copied his email of yesterday from my personal email to my work email and responded to him via that way, (ensuring she doesn’t know I have replied, I have this feeling she has hacked my gmail, it’s the one account I haven’t changed but will after Xmas when I tell db I’m swapping my personal phone into my old work phone, that way she won’t think I’m on to her). It was the email he wrote about missing you, so I Just wrote “and your missed”. Nothing else, in hindsight I should have copied this mornings email but I hadn’t put that into the file and just coped the first one o came across, I could have said I’m ok, but I’m not and I can’t see the point in lying. I should have said the animals are missing you, because they are, his voice came over the voice mail and Bronson & Bono raced to the front room looking for him. The cats keep gong to the bedroom looking for him, only sit on his chair and keep meowing.