It’s something I experienced when being lied to
It my meds they would say
And like you
My memory may be off at times
But things of utter importance I do not
DO NOT FORGET
in fact
I make sure when involved with important stuff
Done when I’m mist coherent
Log it down somewhere as I’m big on that taking names time and dates
So I got you
I got you good
And may he not be able to keep an eye open
He has all he has coming to him in time
In time
As you heal
As you heal
With much love and understanding
Me

Pam, it is good that you got some clarity and compassion from talking with Miss BO's ex-boss.

I have little to add to Eva's wisdom beyond saying that I agree with her 100%.

I hope that you have a tranquil time over Christmas.

I hate saying "what Eva and Kiwi said" but, um, erm,... yeah, what they said!

Maybe I've said it before, but the "best" decision you took was to ... chronicle it all down. This story is so heart wrenching that you'd almost doubt your own sanity. I would! It's shocking, it's horror.

But then, you read the words from the first DB Sobriety post until the latest ones here, and you know with 100% clarity and certainty what the real truth is.

A small consolation? Maybe, perhaps. But a very important one.

I happened to think back of an awesome book called "Until I Find You" by John Irving. It's a stretch, but I hope you somehow can "tattoo" in your own heart that you promise to find yourself again too. Healing is what you will do, I have no doubt (but trust me, I do not underestimate the time and effort and hardship it may take).

I hope we can make the best out of a hard situation in the coming days, weeks, months - both of us. Heck, all of us on this thread.

Did I do the right thing
Like yourself
When you know and to Heavenly Father
Are the only one who knows
When you are giving your all in it
And in the end find you are the only one giving it gets
Tiring hurtful and the time goes by
And you put in all the work
Take time out to be kind to ourselves isn’t a thought
Cause we are doing what comes naturally to us
We take it personally
Because it is personal
It it with the one you think you can trust and be safe with
So make no mistake girlfriend
I would make the same decisions I made trying to protect my babies even for just a little time on this earth
And it is them who I hurt from when I am the best mother
I am
I’m a really good mom
And then their donors
They be the only good thing that came from them
Try and the balance I am getting
We are good
We matter
And it hurts