I’m not sure work wise Gerry, apparently I’m doing a good job and they want me to stay on, I just deal with one day at a time, it’s impossible to plan with so much happening in the organisation.

DB, last month I told him it was over, finito, finished and cut all contact. My actions must have scared him into facing reality.

He has moved home this weekend and i have agreed we will go to counselling. Time will tell. I didn’t want him to move back home, and repeatedly told him to stay where he was but as I have found out, I couldn’t prevent it. He is in a very dark unreadable place, suicide is a reality and life remains difficult.

I must be an unusual person, moving back here, all that he bought has come with him, seeing the things he bought to set up home has really revealed to me how manic he was in his behaviour. I can see he had hopes and dreams for a different life and I can find it in my heart to feel sad for him those dreams were unreachable.

I can’t shake the feeling his moving back here is for him to get his life back on track. From the day he left and said he wanted a break, he’s not gone a single day without attempting to contact me. Perhaps he sees me as his lifeline, but one thing I do know, and I’ve made it clear. I am not the woman I was. If he wants to live here, he has to live with who I am now. If he can’t deal with that, tough luck. his actions helped me find me again.

Pam, I really admire your strength.

Amazing how true it is
To go through all that and find that person that has always been in there
You are who you are for YOU
that’s the difference
He must accept that
Like it or not
Lovely lady
So proud you got there
Enjoy life on its terms
The only way to do it all
Much love
Me

Living a comfortable life remains a challenge, working full time is hard, but I am enjoying the work I do. Once I get the admin support sorted I believe it will improve.

DB spent an hour with the GP on Tuesday and has finally gone back on his medication.

I reported Miss BO to the police last night after more harassment and subsequently realised a post I once made could allow her to know so much more about me. I’m going to write to admin and see if it can be edited. If it can’t be, I may have to cease using NT.

Fingers crossed 🤞

I am pretty sure that the Admins will agree to edit your post or move it off the public part of NT if you would prefer that.

Whew, they can edit it. Chemar is my life saver

Didn’t think I would ever go back, but here I am at the airport ready to fly to the UK. Father in Law very unwell, flying home to help resettle him. Will be the last time I see him alive, prognosis not good.

Life has moved on, my contract been extended for another 3 months, rumour has it I’m required to stay on. One day at a time.

Pam, that sounds encouraging about your job.

Your trip to England won't be easy. As ever, my thoughts will be with you.