Hi Kiwi,

Thank you for the thoughtful reply! Yes, I may explain it poorly sometimes because I truly don't know exactly what I'm missing. All I can explain is the situations in which it effects me.

For language, my speech did indeed get worse verbally but not drastically. The only effects I've noted are I can't talk as fast as I used to and I certainly can explain anything complex because if I can't rap my mind around it or understand it myself, I likely won't be able to explain to soundly to others.
The only other speech effect I noticed was I struggle to find the word I'm looking for for words typically with 6+ characters.

I think a better take on the "hyperventilation" subject would be... Maybe it isn't a visualization of someone actually hyperventilating that I should be getting but when I hear or say the word, it's just a word for me. When you hear or say it, is it just a word or does your brain instantly create meaning for the word based on your understanding/experience with it? A flash of meaning goes along with the word for you so you don't have to stop and figure out what it means each time right? It's just a word for me until I stop and make myself visualize someone being in the water, then I will try to think of them breathing heavily and step by step, I'll give understanding to what hyperventilation is. See, if on the spot you asked me what hyperventilation is, I could tell you the definition. Little to your knowledge (not directed at you, just the person that asks me), in my head I'm not following along or producing substance of what I'm saying so it hyperventilation still won't make sense to me.


Another good example could be using the shifter in my car. It's automatic but any time I go into manual mode, I have no grasp or understanding on why I should go up or down gears. I understood the hell out of it back in freshman and sophomore year of high school when I used to drive my friend's 4wheeler and my first car. If I decide I want to go into first gear, I don't have any memory or association with "1st gear" from the past that gives me meaning for what 1st gear is for. I'd have to stop and try to figure out what 1st gear's use is the same way I'd have to wit hyperventilation. In 2 minutes, when I want to go into first gear again (if I want to understand why I'm going into 1st gear) I have to stop and think hard about what 1st gear is for again.

Sorry for the long text. It's just so difficult to explain and such a mystery. I know marijuana has its risks like any pharma meds. I personally don't think either are particularly good; that's why marijuana is my last resort and I haven't just given up and signed up for medical license here in FL. But if worst comes to worst, I'm going to do what I have to do. I'll do everything I can to find a cure before that