It's taken me a long time to deal with this. Eventhough my divorce was almost 20 years ago, the following article Might have helped me through a really tough time IF I had read it 30 years ago.


Women don't get alimony for the rest of their lives like women who preceded us did. We get Something for a short time but then it stops leaving us to fend for ourselves when we are older.

In my particular situation, I was left with physical and emotional damage from an abusive husband. All the years that I SHOULD have been spending on education and building my own earning power, I spent slaving away in a house for no pay or recognition. It took me 11 years AFTER the divorce to be able to NOT lock my bedroom door when I went to sleep at night. 3 years after my divorce I was dropped from his Insurance. He was a violent and controlling man who was dragged off to jail the night before I filed for divorce for domestic violence. Eventhough I DID take care of the finances every penny had to be accounted for during the marriage. I had NO future if the marriage ended.

For years it was a Horrible struggle just to find food and rent money. I won't go into the details. I never broke the law or got into any kind of trouble but worked temp jobs that didn't last long and was forced to take in roommates who were often NOT of the best ilk. My things were stolen, I had to keep my food IN my room and a lock on my bedroom door.

Looking back NOW I wish I had made ONE decision differently. That ONE decision set in motion a series of events that I can honestly say RUINED my life. I understand NOW what my Mother used to say to me when I was growing up: "If I knew then what I know now I sure would have done things different."