This is hard to write. I can waffle on about anything under the sun but as soon as I try to talk about my stuff, it just won't come out. I was diagnosed in 1990 with a schizoid personality disorder. To be honest I’m not exactly sure what that is, I mean in comparison to other personality disorders.

In January this year, I felt myself slipping. I have learned to recognise the signs and I can usually cope with it myself. But last month I gave in and went to see my doctor, and he arrange for me to speak with someone on the 19th of last month. One and a half hours before my appointment I got a phone call telling me that they would have to reschedule. A few days latter I got a letter with a new appointment which is this coming Monday.

Being older now and being familiar with the pattern this takes, I didn't really mind waiting for the appointment to come around, but it is beginning to get a little difficult. I haven't been diagnosed with Dissociate Identity Disorder (DID) but this does present itself a little, making things more difficult. And the one thing that makes the whole situation worse is stress. I work to stay calm but it gets hard sometimes.

The last time I talked to a psychiatrist was over ten years ago. And I wasn't in the best frame of mind to be making enquiries about my disorder. When I am ready to ask about it and learn more, my doctor doesn't know what to say, and I have to be in a bad way before I can get an appointment to talk to a psychiatrist. And if I'm that bad that I need to talk to one, I'm not up to asking questions. Can you see what I'm trying to say?

So I was wondering if there was anyone on the board who had any experience of this disorder, and who might be able to answer some questions for me.