Thanks guys and defreeze congrats on your baby girl. I guess ive been dealing with ignorant people for so long that I keep trying to find a way out of the fear of hydro but I just don't know where to look. Like whenever I try and go for help someone just attacks me instead that it is hard to find hope that the feelings will go away. Like every road i turn to is just a dead end. It has gotten bad to the point where I have looked at more info on hydro and it is like wow I can be a burden on someone. People have made me feel like having hydro is like being married to someone who already ahs a kid. It is extra baggage that no one else wants. I know it sounds silly but idk where the right help is.

I have had to deal with the questions about my scars too and I know it can be hard. I deal with it usually by making jokes about them. My friends and I once did a 'join the dots' game with the scars on my stomach from all the revisions I have had, and believe me, there are many.
The easiest way to deal with everything is to remember that the scars and the hydrocephalus are who you are and nobody can change that. If people want to judge you because of it then they are the ones with the problem, not you.

While I have never been teased about having Hydrocephalus, I do feel self-conscious about it.

The first girl I ever actually dated was not the summer right before I started my senior year of high school. I had so much trouble in school with grades and kids teasing me, just like every kid gets' teased, that I ended up not graduating until I was 20yrs.-old. The girl I dated between my junior and senior year, turned out to be 15yrs.-old and using me until her 'real' boyfriend was released from the county lockup. When she told me she wanted to breakup, she had a friend of hers call me at 2a.m. waking my father up. Her friend told me about the 'real' boyfriend having been released from the county lockup that night. I told her friend I wouldn't believe it until I heard it from my 'girlfriend'. At first she refused to tell me. I kept persisting, causing her to cry when she verbally verified it in the background. I don't know if it could be considered that I got sweet revenge on her but, I happen to run into her mother five years later and we had a nice chat. Her mother told me that, my ex-'girlfriend had dropped out of school, within months of us dating.

I met my future(now ex)wife the next year. We were 'unofficially' engaged for five years. During the engagement, she cheated on me and, I knew there was something just not mentally right with her, but I couldn't put my finger on it. I forgave her for cheating on me. During our eight-year marriage, despite her biological ability to bear children it always felt somehow(back then), that I was married to a child instead of a woman. When I had a Gran-Mal seizure(I have Epilepsy that resulted from the surgeries for the aneurysm and Hydrocephalus), despite all the info I had given her on my health, she just freaked and stared at me like a zombie.

When she left me at 4.75yrs. into the marriage, I told her at the six month point of the separation that I could legally file for divorce if I wanted to. She begged me not to, so I relented. The next year she told me that she had always wished that, my disabilities would 'just go away'. To me that was extremely ignorant and, it was then that I made the definite decision to divorce her. I didn't divorce her for another two years due to money. When I did, my parents along with her mother n' maternal grandparents were at the courthouse. When it was finalized, my ex-wife reacted by crying hysterically and going around suddenly hugging her mother, my mother and my step-mother.

The answer to her obviously odd behavior was finally answered four years after the divorce when my ex-wife was finally diagnosed as being disabled. I don't know what the actual diagnosis is, but my mother n' step-mother have always felt my ex-wife was mentally retarded. I personally didn't(and still don't) feel that description accurately fit my ex-wife's behavior. But she definitely(and finally) had admitted to being disabled. Her denial was perpetuated by her parents, who I had revered for years.

Now I am in a relationship that has lasted four years. My girlfriend and her parents accept me without reservation. But why did it take practically thirty years for a woman to accept me.

lcms0516 I really dont know why it took that long for that to happen. I wish I could give yuo an answer. It is very frustrating but I am happy that someone accepted you for who you are. I just dont want to end up feeling like this forever because if I do then I will never get anywhere. I don't know how to break out of it. I just don't want to get hurt. People tell me to ignore the people who say things like that but how can I tell which people won't use it against me and which ones will.

It is just so frustrating. I feel like everywhere I turn im afraid people will make fun of me if they find out that I have hydrocephalus and I do not want to be considered the broken twin.

I know that feeling all too well.

I definitely know the feeling of not wanting to get hurt. Because my Hydrocephalus was used against me, more than once.

Following my divorce, I met a woman on a Christian dating site. When she found out about my height(5'6" due to hydrocephalus affecting the pituitary gland and the short height of my mother's family), she(5'11") said she wasn't interested.

Another woman on the same website, said she couldn't cope with my health(ex-wife deja vu).

People can be jerks, no question about it. You have to put yourself above all that are realize you are OK just like you are. I have no hair at all, and got teased most of my life because I wear a scarf instead of a wig. I ignor those people. Keep yourself focused on the good that you are. We can't help people who are cruel, but we can indeed ignor them. Stay with the friends you do have, that accept you just as is. Stay positive, that your life can turn out just fine. Shoot for any dream that you want. You can't shoot for the stars until you take off at ground level. No matter what our handicaps or conditions, we can be just fine. Hang with those who have positive outlooks. Scars help make us who we are. Celebrate them. You are still here and doing OK. We all get scarred up during our lives, sometimes they can make you a better person too. I wish you all the best. ginnie