Oh, please allow me to thank you and inform you that it does NOT go both ways. It's all about him. Because he had the foot ulcer for 7 years, I was told to NOT LET HIM GET ON THAT FOOT. So I had to do it all. I did it all. He got used to it. I mean if a doctor tells you that this man can not place his foot on the floor until the ulcer heals and by the time we got crow boots, special made shoes and orthotics, until we got the RIGHT custom molded shoes and orthotics, I was doing everything. When the time came for him to be doing what he should be doing, forget it.

Am I complaining? sure, who wouldn't but it is what it is. I have practically saved his life numerous times but who cares. I'm a wife and that is what I do. But last night was the turning point and after what happened I told him, "the next time someone asks about you I am going to tell the truth".

I wanted to watch Bruce Jenner on 20/20. I usually watch stuff on my computer. It would not come up. I turned to him and said "I'd like to watch 20/20" Bruce Jenner is on. Was that too much to ask? I don't think so. He said 'I'll tape it for you". I said "I would really like to watch it and I don't think it's too much to ask after all I have done for you going back and forth to emergency rooms, hospitals, nursing homes, cleaning you up, blah blah. I even sat by his bed side in a chair not getting any sleep. One would think a husband would appreciate this.

He looked at me and said "But I have missed all my tv shoes and I'm catching up". I looked at him and said "Okay, if that's how you feel but believe me every dog has his day".

So I realized what I'm dealing with, he's not going to change, I'm not going to color it anymore. He should have turned the tv over to me immediately and said "After all you have done for me, it's yours". He will never do this, I know this and I'll just deal with it.

But now I make time for ME. That's it. Of course I will go on all his appointments because he can't do them by himself but honestly, I feel differently. I might sound like a bitc* but right now that's how I feel.

Sorry to vent but it's been a heck of an April for me. I'm tired.

Melody

MelodyL
Feeling for you Melody - I can't suggest what to do in your current situation because I don't know the full details and only you know what will work for you. But you are right it is time to put yourself first. The only thing I can say is do something sooner rather than later before your own health is compromised.
I know you have plenty of other friends on here but please feel free to PM me if you want to vent in private.

Everybody needs to let off steam sometimes too...

Don't forget we have a Caregivers Support forum -
A place for people who are a caregiver to another to find help and support.
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum56.html

You didn't miss anything Mel... about Bruce Jenner. He was only promoting another reality show. He is full of himself... very selfish appearing. I found him rather narcissistic and boring.
I really don't want to go further here about it so try and find
the interview on CNN or YouTube.

On CNN Smerconish's program there was a very interesting interview with Zoe Tur, who is now a female (she was a male helicopter pilot...she was very disappointed with Bruce. I bet you can find that on CNN's website.
If not, here is another example of the interview:
http://www.mediaite.com/tv/transgend...that-maleness/

Smerconish is on Sat morning CNN at 9am. He typically has very good and intelligent guests and comments on the week's news. I really like him.

Take care.

I am sorry you have been thru such a terribly stressful time.
And I hope Alan is now on the mend at least.

I found the interview very interesting. I don't think that he is trying to promote another show. JMO. People should watch it and form their own opinion.

Thanks to all who replied to me. Yeah, I'm taking care of myself. I forgot about the caregivers forum. Thankfully I have my sprouting and someone bought me a Fresh Life Automatic Sprouting machine. OMG. it does it all by itself. This is a great hobby for me that I have been doing for years and hopefully will continue.

And I get together at night down the corner at Dunkin and sit with all my friends and we ALL talked about Bruce Jenner. I watched it on ABC on my computer.

Interesting how a man can be an Olympic athlete, have 3 wives, all those children and now at 65 become a woman. I have no opinion on his choices or if he even has a choice. But hey, he has the freedom to do what he wants.

But at 65? I don't think I could do it. I'd stay in the closet. lol

I'm talking to Alan but that's about it. He doesn't have a clue. He is too absorbed in his own health to ever think about my health so I have to do it myself and I do. Thank god for Methyl B-12. That's all I can say.

That supplement probably got me where I am today. Excellent memory. I sleep great. Sure, bad knees, aches and pains, sciatica, diabetes. but I do manage.

And I get to watch anything I want on my laptop which is GREAT. Love youtube.

so thanks to you all.

So far, Alan is on the mend. Now it's MY turn. lol

Melody

I only saw a few minutes yesterday. According to what you wrote; I hit the "nail on the head"; couldn't help but add "he's a real jerk" !!!!!! All show and for show....He must be desperate for attention and a few $$$$$.


Gerry

Melody,
A while back I was reading your posts regarding Alan's Psoriasis and the scraping off sounds coming out of the bedroom. All I could think about was the mess that it must have been to clean up. There was much more about your looking into anything and everything you could do to help him.I guess it's about time you vent...


Gerry

To be honest i think he has Aspergers. Oir son took off 12 years aho, put us through hell with addictions to onlime gaming and gambling
Nothing we did had any effect. He eventually said " mom,you were great parents, this has nothing to do with you, but i havent seen you in so long you are no longer a priority of mine." Let me tell you, his actions after that well lets just say i got professional help and put up walls. My son then said All i need is to go on SSI and ill be taken care of" he got a diagnosis of Narcissistic
personality disorder but later on ONE doctor said You have aspergers"' makes sense now. If this is going to continue i will put up more walls and do what needs to be done but thats it. I am supposed to arrange for p/t and have a therapist come to the house. I am at the point that if the phone rings and the p/t person is on the phone, i am tempted to hand him the phone and walk into another room. Yes, i think i will do just that.

Melody

P.s. sorry to go off topic. Will not do it again

People need to watch the whole interview. And that is two hours worth. Interesting to say the least.