[Swedishguy]

Hi! This will be my first post on these forums, that are great from what I have read so far.

I have always had very low self esteem in regards of my penis, I have been diagnosed with BDD by a psychologist. My penis is 18-19 cms long and is not small at all when checked against penis size charts. However I have still always percieved it by beeing to short.
This was brought on by my upbringing, my mother left my biological father for a man with a larger penis (in my mind, the only thing that he had that my father did not), and she even spoke to me about how a big penis "is better than a small one". Then the first love of life left me for a guy with "the biggest penis in school".
I even got teased in school for having a small penis, although I do not understand why. I think it might be that they noticed that it made me respond, and thus they continued.

Now to the "real" problem. One day at the age of 22 I was visiting my local swimming pool. Before I hit the showers I usually went to the bathroom to try to make my penis appear bigger (out of shame of being small). I´d run hot water over it and pull at it. But this time, all of a sudden the penis "changed" I could feel the sensations dissapear from it. It didnt hurt at all. It just felt "weird". Since then I have had reduced sensitivity in my penis. My head is almost completly numb. It feels like I am wearing 3 sets of rubbers. I can tell the diffrence between hot and cold and I can feel when I pinch the skin. However the sensation feels week and somehow deleyed. Soft touching (which is what feels good in a sexual way) is not registered at all. My scrotum is unchanged though, and the foreskin is somewhat sensitive.

I can achive an erected and ejaculate, but my orgasms are VERY weak. I think about this all most all of the time, and I have had a host of psycological problems because of it. Mostly panic anxiety and depression.

It has now been 12 years *edit*

I have been to the doctors, they said I had some measurable decline in penile sensitivity (He used a tuning fork to determend if I felt the vibrations.) I have also done bloodworks, which came back fine. No other tests have been done.

A couple of questions;
1. Is it really possible to manually pull so hard on your penis that you sever a nerve? And wouldnt that hurt? Or bleed? Or get inflammed? Or SOMETHING?

2. Is there any hope that I can ever get better?

3. If i severed a nerve in my penis, according to the diagrams I´ve seen about the nerves, shouldnt that be fixable in an operation? Since my scrotum is unchanged the damage must be done on the front of the abdomen or the penis itself, which, to me, seems like an "easy" area to operate on.

Sincerely
/Swedishguy