Where do I begin?.. My question 'Is it in my head or is it real' is one borne out of frustration and a comment given to me by a 'second opinion' Neurologist last week. Prior to this problem I led a full life - working, going to the gym twice a week, gardening and living life to the full. Before I got sick, my mantra was 'there's 24 hours in the day - it's there for living'. I see every day as being there for a reason and to do as much as possible however this has now changed.

Last June (08) I attended a function. During the middle of the night, the top of my body was burning up, my legs and feet were frozen. The following day I couldn't raise my head, arms, legs and thought it was the flu. The next day my muscles ached and I had a headache - again I stayed in bed. The following day it had all gone however I had an infected throat and diahorrea with a temperature until 2.30 when it stopped. I went back to work the following day and although I felt weak I put it down to the strange virus I had. My legs were weak and I had pins and needles in both my feet and hands. Three times my legs gave out so I went home; on my way home they fell away from me again and I went to the Doctor who suspected I had Guilliane Barre. Having spent two weeks in hospital having chest, MRI, Lumber and numerous blood tests followed by EMG tests they concluded that I had low Folic Acid and Vitamin E levels and although my lumber test proved I had protein in it I was sent home.
I was given physiotherapy as they were still unsure whether I had GB or not however the Hydrotherapy made me worse; I couldn't get out of the pool and dressing myself was non-existent and afterwards I spent the day and the following day asleep!

Since this has happened I have had more EMG tests, blood tests and have had a second opinion; this took five months to get but it is England! It appears after one nerve conduction test, the Dr who was testing me confirmed that they were testing me for MS/MN/Myaesthenia Graves and Chronic Fatigue but so far they had found nothing. I can walk approx. 300 yards and then my left leg drags. My hands and arms are nearly back to normal however it is difficult opening up jars etc. I wont drive for fear of not being able to stop the car. I still have the pins and needles in my feet but this is getting less. Any exercise I do whether it be going for a walk or doing the cooking ends up with me having to rest for two hours or so; I am completely fatigued that I have to rest. I have bouts of being extremely angry and upset which is obviously frustration at not being able to do anything.

So going back to my original question - Is it in my head or is it real? The Neurologist said my symptons are consistent with MS although the blood tests don't prove it and I am not to under estimate the power of the mind. He is sending me to see a Neuropsychologist and to eliminate the MS, I am having another MRI and had another blood test.

I apologise for not being positive and upbeat - I'm feeling a trite sorry for myself having not worked for eight months as a result and needed to vent my spleen