work stress is almost like a killer. i know how much stress i had at my job right before i resigned.

i wouldn't worry about others and the job. just take care of yourself and put you first. that's the most important thing.

i would start documenting dates and the things they're saying to you just in case you need to consult an attorney. they sound like they're really harassing you and it's not right.

Did you really want the promotion but feel you couldn't accept due to the extra activities, or did you really feel the promotion was too much for you and were happy for an excuse to say so? Sorry Cherokee, but I wasn't sure.

I really did want the last promotion I applied for which was just before I retired on disability. I had been "filling in" for the position for several months before it was advertised, and I really liked the job. One good thing going for the position (in my favour) was that it was the only position available in my workplace that I could have done on crutches or my cane..... (and I had been told as much)

I was so disappointed when they gave that position to the boss's daughter who was 20 something and new to the field. She had absolutely no experience, but had just got married and wanted the job because it was 9-5 in a work environment that mostly offered shift work.

I guess when they gave her the job I knew it was time for me to retire, as I knew that there'd be no more positions available for some-one like me... with a chronic illness.

I left 2 weeks later and haven't worked since.

Well, I spoke to my manager today and declined the promotion. I told her it wasn't that I felt I couldn't do the job - I knew I could - but it was the other non-job related demands that would be placed on me that I couldn't physically perform and that I felt it was in the best interest for all concerned if I continued to do my current job and they looked for a replacement for the manager's position. Thanks everyone for your support - it helped me to feel not so guilty about not fighting back for the very first time in my life. I *always* fight back at injustice and unfairness. This is a first, and hopefully the last.

My manager wanted me to take over for her but her big roadblock - and mine too - was the boss. She told me she was afraid I couldn't work directly for him and I told her she was probably right. This guy really treats women like doo and he'll come in some days just looking for a fight. Frankly, I think he gets off on yelling and berating women who can't or won't fight back to make himself feel better. I told my manager I was married to someone just like him at one time and it's the reason I got a divorce and I sure as hell wouldn't put up with someone taking out their anger and frustration at who knows what on me because I happened to be the first person he saw when he walked in the door. Basically, the manager knows I'm outspoken and fight back and wouldn't take his crap in silence like she does.

She spoke to the boss today and I was not included. I do know that he was acting strange towards me when he left for lunch, almost like he didn't know what to say or that he was hurt or sad. Personally, I think he wanted me to take the position as well, but while I like him on his good days, I just can't subject myself to his Jeckyl/Hyde persona.

We also have a problem employee that the boss will not allow us to do anything about - she's his favorite and can do no wrong. He would not allow us to fire her and if I took the manager's position it's the first thing I'd want to do. She has drug and alcohol problems, is always late, misses a lot of work, screws up when she is at work - heck I sat and watched her mix an alcoholic beverage at her desk one day and she was just sent home two hours early. Any of the rest of us had done that we'd have been fired on the spot. See, it's the fairness thing again, not to mention she broke a company policy. While it will kill me to sit back and watch her continue to screw up and be rewarded for it, at least it won't be *my* problem, but the new manager's and I feel sorry for her.

I'm sorry that you "had" to decline, but I feel I already know the girl you mentioned....... I'm sure it's the bosses daughter who got the position I applied for.

Sending you some gentle hugs.

Aw, thanks for those hugs Koala! I bet this co-worker is a sister to your bosses daughter. While I know what I did was in my best interest it's still hard to put away all those visions I had for making this place a better place to work. I purposely told them my decision so they'd have almost two years to hire and train the manager's replacement. In typical fashion, they've decided to postpone hiring someone until after the first of the year - now I REALLY feel sorry for the new person!

Oh, and the best part of it all? I work for a union but you sure can't tell by the way things work in the office. So much for protecting workers rights!

Reading all your posts, it's hard to see how you could have made a better decision for yourself. I think you absolutely did the right thing. Sounds like there are some toxic elements to your workplace and much as you might want to have a positive impact on them and change things for the better, without support (to do the right thing) from upper management, you'd get ground down trying to change the culture alone and even worse, possibly end up the scapegoat.

Smart choice!

Becca44

You really did do the right thing. I used to be a boss in a similar situation. I wanted so much to improve my company, but we had to protect my business partner's wife who was an employee. She had a toxic personality much of the time and it just wore me down. We could have taken that company far if we hadn't had to deal with the limitations of her being there.

Safeguard your own health and when you see that craziness going on around you, just try not to let it get to you too much.