Hi Debbie,

That's an inspiring attitude. I find it also helps to remind myself that there are lots of different kinds of smart. I may not be able to do the NY Times crossword anymore, but I'm still kind and generous. A lot of super "intelligent" folks never have that.

Onward

(((Debbie))) I completely understand what you are going through as I my tests showed a drop in IQ. I took that pretty hard as I knew something wasn't right. However, the neuropsych told me I have trouble encoding and recalling information and slow processing. I still have a high IQ but notice the changes quite a bit. Just something to keep in mind.

Hockey is right - it is the other traits we have that are much more important. Kindness, compassion, etc. mean far more to me and those around me than a high IQ.

Hang in there and know that you are not alone in this.

hugs to you my friend

Again, thanks to all of you...it is so reassuring to have support in a situation like MS...especially when you don't quite understand what is going on with the body/mind and there is someone here who has experienced a similar thing and can reassure you that you're not alone. Makes all the difference in the world.
Last night, my neuro and his nurse had his monthly lecture. My DH talked to him beforehand and thanked him for his caring...that they call back the same day, fit you in for an appt as soon as possible, etc. DH told him "We feel like we have someone in our corner."
That's the way I feel here, too. You're all the best!!
I love ya!!

(((Debbie)))) I am glad you have a good doctor on your side.

Have you asked your doctor about Botox? Jim's had two treatments so far and it works OK for him. He still has some spasms especially when it starts to wear off. But the pain associated with them is lowered. He is still on his Baclofen and Tizantidine (sp?) too.

hey, Debbie ... they may be tests ... but, it could of just been an 'off' day ... and you are smarter than ANY tests out there ...

you can turn this around ... and taking more courses to stretch your mind will help ... even working on puzzles (my fave: word searches)

please, don't talk down on yourself okay??? keep your mind calm .. and pursue your dreams - remember, YOU CAN DO ALL THINGS .. even if it's one thing at a time, and even if it takes a couple of days ... that's okay!!

you are one smart cookie!! don't let ANYONE or ANY-TEST tell you different!! I believe in YOU!!

Thanks, Sandy...we've talked about injections of Botox. We're working out the kinks on the sleep apnea first to see if that reduces the symptoms and keeps me from falling asleep, esp behind the wheel. Then he says we'll work from there.

Vonn...I do have a lot of stuff in my brain that I can utilize...for instance my passion for understanding how the body works, and all that jazz...but it didn't help me with the medical transcription course. I finally let them know that my cognitive difficulties are making it impossible to continue. It was actually a load off of my shoulders. I loved studying the diseases, body processes, etc. But I hated the grammar, rules, etc. And I got my BA in English with a writing emphasis! When I was 40, no less! I just had too much difficulty remembering all the rules...
I do love to write, though, & I've gotten the bug again...I get up in the middle of the night when an idea hits and get it down before it floats away...I love doing it more than almost anything.
Thanks for the encouraging words!!

Hey Deb,

I understand about the neuropsych testing and getting results that you don't like. I too had the dreaded drop in IQ according to the test.

I had mine at the tail end of a relapse and the large drop scared me silly. I was so mad that I told my then neuro that the psych that tested me was a quack. There were so many discrepancies in the final report that I thought I got someone else's results. I wrote a letter to the psych and asked him who he tested before and after me, since I was so sure the results were mixed up! I sent a letter correcting all the errors in the report. The guy didn't even spell my name correctly!
I still get mad when I look at that report, it said the psych thought my problems stemmed from unresolved issues from childhood!!! I even called my insurance company and told them not to pay the quack.

The neuro calmed me by letting me know that he thought the IQ thing was a result of relapse, and that regardless of what the psych said, at least I had a baseline now to compare to previous IQ test results for before and after MS.

I'm over it now, but it sure did make me angry when I got the results. It has gotten much better and I regained most of the ground that I lost. There are more important parts of us than our IQ as measured on some test, and even if our IQ loses ground during or after relapse, we are amazingly resilient and find ways to compensate for the residual losses.

Thanks, RW...

This test result kind of gives me an idea of what it must be like when a person has a health issue that takes away something that gave them their identity...like a strong man getting a disease that leaves him weak and feeble...or a macho guy who identifies with his sexuality and gets prostate cancer that makes him impotent...
My identity has always been my intellect. Everyone always said, "You're so smart", or "I want you on my game team. You know so much." Except my dad...he told me, "You're the dumbest smart person I've ever met." He was right...lots of book smarts, no common sense. My son proved that one evening at dinner when he said, "Did you hear they took gullible out of the dictionary?" I wailed, "But why?"
Anyway, my loss of the ability to process goes back almost 3 yrs when I quit my job rather then get fired...due to getting things messed up. I just got so overwhelmed I couldn't organize and got cussed out by the boss in front of everyone...it was a restaurant, and I refuse to go there to dine now

I was already dealing with sxs of MS, but old neuros wouldn't tag it as MS...so now I understand why I had so much trouble.
And I get now that I am not my intellect, or my kindness towards my inlaws, or anything else that others tell me. I am ME. No matter what I do, or can't do, I am ME...
so when I finally decline from age and not MS, I hope that I won't be as bitter as my FIL...he's 88 and still can't understand how this happened to him I don't want to be that way...
My verbal abilities are still high on the scale, so at least my ability to write is probably good...it is a gift I can still share, for which I am profoundly grateful. Processing, not so good...oh well

So, thank you to all of you who understand...and for all of the words of encouragement.

Hey Debbie ... I totally understand.. I'm in the same boat as you - I love to work and be busy ... but, then lose concentration and start something else ...

I'm working at getting back at my writing ... and sketching/watercolor illustrations ...

YOU GO, GIRL ... I'm excited for you .. .and heck - you don't need to go back to school .. just inch by inch ... everything's a sinch!!