[Erin524]

This has been the flare from Hell.

Those visual flares that I've had were nothing compared to what's going on right now. (well, the pain from the first optic neuritis was comparable to my current back pain)

My back hurts. I'm numb from pretty much the chest down. I feel strange. Like parts of my body arent connected to where they're supposed to be connected. My head feels weird. My feet are so numb I cant drive my mom to her appointments. I feel really really really sick and weak (and that was before I started on the 'roids) I'm not sure I'm able to walk a straight line and standing up for very long is not all that possible. There's a giant invisible python strangling me around the ribs, and I'm pretty sure that invisible snake has spikes on it that are stabbing me in the back and sides too.

The thing is, I know that this isnt the worst it could be. Knowing what other MSers have to deal with, I'm grateful that it hasnt been any worse, but geeze, this is the worst I've ever felt. I dont see how other MSers who unfortunately have it worse than me do this every day.

I spent about $100 taking a taxi to the infusion center yesterday and the day before. (about $25 a trip...It was about $20 for the ride, but I like to tip the drivers)

Those stupid steroids kept me awake all last night. The pain in my back didnt help either. Yesterday was my last day of IVSM, and I had to sit in the ER in really uncomfortable chairs (the little gurney they gave me to sit on was just as uncomfortable too) I'm pretty sure the really bad back pain last night was the result of having to sit in the ER.

Reason I had to do the IVSM in the ER yesterday? They made my infusion nurse work the ER, so they dragged her there kicking and screaming and dragged me after her. She wasnt happy about it. I made sure that management knew that *I* wasnt happy about it. (I also made sure to compliment the nurses to management. All the nurses were great. I especially told them that the infusion nurse was the best part about the whole experience)

I'm so tired today. I dont know if that's the IVSM and/or the prednisone taper I started today, or if it's the MS, or if it's the combination of the crappy day I had yesterday along with all the IVSM and MS and the lack of sleep I had last night. (didnt fall asleep till about 6 or 7am today, slept till noon)

Someone please tell me that this stupid flare is going to end soon and that I'll hopefully go back to feeling like I did before this Flare-Hell hit me.

I felt so good a couple of weeks ago. It's just blown me away how fast that went away.

I'm really bummed because my birthday is coming up in a few weeks (May 24th) and I'm really not looking forward to feeling this craptastic on my birthday. (I hope I get a really good b-day present from my parents this year. I need something really cool to help make up for the suckiness of all this. I'm thinking about a new computer...a Mac Mini)