Thank you Debbie

As I read your post I was feeling sorry for myself that walking has become a painful chore, not an automatic reaction. Your comment cast a whole new light on things.

Really???? I just need to quit bitching and remember, as always, that there are others who have life so much worse than me.

Cheers

Lyn

I follow the Debbie school as well. on days when its sometimes to hard to even phathom, I try to take myself away from myself and realize that while I may be in pain, I woke in a home that I own. While I may be nauseous, I have food to eat, while many in the USA dont have any food in their homes. im blind, but I have a truck load of folks headed at me to teach me how. I can still see shadows and have been taught how to use a program that I speak to and it types things for me.

I do hope you are able to find some sunshine in your own life. I want so badly to stay stuck in the dark on some days and just stomp my feet, and scream why me Lord! why must I carry this?! what did I do to deserve such treatment?! Why not tag a drug addict, or a hooker, or a murderer, or an adulterer, WHY ME! and then, I throw off the covers, and find reasons to keep moving forward.

Then I come here, and I get my dose of daily cheerleading.

Debbie - You are right and I often do the same thing. Don't get me wrong, I still have my pity parties but I think of all the others who are in a similar situation or worse. And, I think of them and how they deal with their daily struggles and they become an inspiration to me to just keep going. A friend of mine gave me a little framed picture of fish. It's called Phish Philosophy. She gave it to me as a reminder to "just keep swimming" (Finding Nemo). There is a lot of truth in it and I keep the picture on the counter in my bathroom. This way I see it every day and am reminded to keep going regardless and that I have a wonderful friend in this life.

In my post, I hope no one felt I am suggesting that their journey/pain/suffering is invalid...

In fact, I have asked God many times, "Why me?" When my brother in law was attempting to rape me, I screamed, "God, why me?"
When our friends' daughter was killed by a drunk driver, I shook my fist in the air at God, screaming, "Why them, God?" So many times...

I am imperfect, and I used to feel so guilty about asking this of God. I understand now, as I journey with this stupid disease, that we all have crosses to bear, and my Creator understands my humanness and imperfection when I question what I encounter during my journey.

My dear sister, who passed recently, always cried and asked why she had to suffer from her various ailments...why her?
She never seemed to take responsibility for the decisions she made in her life to bring her to her present circumstances. She smoked, was very obese, cheated the system, and chose mates who were selfish and abusive. Many of the things she suffered from were from poor choices.

There are things that come along in our lives that are not a result of choices we have made...it's just life.
I remember watching Sesame Street with the kids when Mr. Hooper had died (well, the actor had died, so the show had to deal with it). Big Bird kept going around, asking everyone why Mr. Hooper died. Everyone had their explanation...then, at the end of the episode, Luis finally said to Big Bird, "Because...just because."

And that is what I remind myself, even as I cry from the pain and disability I deal with occasionally. Because...just because...

As a long time follower of your advice Debbie I dont think anyone thought you were advocating a "suck it up and deal with it" attitude. I saw it as a we are dealt what we are dealt, and we can choose to sit in the dark or we can come on out to the light.

I know when I am IN pain, scared, feeling alone, upset and angry at this whole disease process I am much more likely to not take advice or stories in the spirit in which they are intended. I am more likely to grab whatever you said and bite back at you, cause...I DONT FEEL GOOD! and I want it to stop now please! Two days later when I have more wind back in my sails and some rest under my belt, I am much more likely to return and say "oh!" When IN crisis...nope, not gonna happen, and I will go silent and be upset.

its my opinion that we have all gone thru so much. from badly behaving family (have you MET my sister?) to diseases that make no sense (Granny is choking and her MD cant tell her why) to being housebound and not having a friend or neighbor close by to help us find pee pads for our doggies (remember sal's pal?) up to attack after attack, and finally leading to my blind behind bumping into walls and trying to figure out how and why should I get out of bed today. Can I cook? no! I will burn the house down! Can I drive? no! I will wreck the car. Can I vacuum so my house is clean? well..yeah, but I am going to bang up everything in the house. I have to count on everyone right now to do stuff I should be doing for myself. Just because I show up with a good attitude, doesnt mean I always had one. You should have seen the MASSIVE break down I had about this. kicking and screaming like a 5 year old.

I hope all are feeling better. :grouphug: