Yep.....thunderstorms all day. But the good news is the pollen got washed away!

Which reminds me once again of my biggest frustration: If I don't make a big deal out of MS fatigue, they won't understand that it's not "normal" (stayed up too late, rough day at work, just had the flu) fatigue.

BUT.

If I make TOO big a deal out of it ("It's such crippling, crushing fatigue that I can barely get through the day without a couple of naps or I cry and can't think straight") than I absolutely KNOW that my kids and granddaughter will think twice before calling me because I might be napping.

If I don't make a big deal, they'll expect me to do things I can't do. If I DO make a big deal, they won't ask me to do things I can and WANT to do.

*sigh

Noone asks me to do anything anymore...*big sigh*

My kids still "suggest" things for me to do. Like going to the Botanical Gardens!! :rolleyes: Are you kidding me??? That's about four miles of nothing but walking. Yes, they offered to push me around the gardens in a wheelchair but I'm just not up for that right now. They don't seem to understand that I--am--slow now. I know it's not their fault.....and I'm so thankful that they are able to get around without anything hindering them......but I can't keep up with their pace and I feel like I'm slowing them down. I'm always waaaaay behind them and, while they stop to let me catch up, it's just another reminder of how slow I really am. :(

I am exhausted today. I have spent the last two hours just lying in bed, but I can not relax. Plus MS symptoms are rearing their ugly head. I just tried the biofreeze I have for my knees on my rib cage and back:rolleyes:.

And yet, I am still going to my book group this evening. I do plan on parking on the street instead of driveway so I can make an early exit. I feel like I gave up doing too many things the first year that I was dx, and I am not willing to give up some of the things I enjoy at this point. Fatigue/ spasticity ... have robbed me of the ability to travel,shop, goes to art festivals ..., so I am going to go to my book club - gosh darn it;). And I am going to try to go see a local production of Godspell on Saturday night.

I know what you mean, Barb. If it weren't for the unrelenting fatigue and exhaustion I'd probably be up for walking around the mall or even the botanical gardens. Yes, I'd be slow but if I could do that without the feeling of dragging around cinder blocks tied to my ankles I'd do it!

You know, sometimes affirmation STINKS!

I found myself wondering--what if the biggest part of my fatigue really IS depression? What if I really WOULD feel better if I didn't just schlump around all day, not bother to get dressed some days, sit in front of the window/computer for hours?

Well, this morning I did three loads of laundry, made a baked macaroni and cheese, then had company for the afternoon--just my daughter and her little dog. That's it. And I'm so tired I'm almost in tears.

No, it's not all in my mind. No, it's not just depression. No, it's not laziness. It's MS. And it bites.

Well, B2Y, I wish I had the magic spell to fix it all. And you know what? It's depressing not to be able to do the things we want to do. I'm not talking about stuff that would be challenging even if we were in perfect health.....I'm talking about just what you described - visiting for the afternoon with a family member. Just run of the mill ordinary stuff. I think that's why other folks cannot grasp what this means to us. We say we cannot possibly go out somewhere and then entertain company at home the same day. This is the "ordinary stuff" we can't do anymore and it's hard to explain it to someone who cannot relate. I just want to go out to lunch, shop a couple of hours and then go to Starbuck's with my friends. Doesn't sound very hard for the average person......but I'm not the average person anymore. Yet.....I'm so very thankful for what I can still do. I don't want this to sound like I'm not grateful or that I'm whining. I'm just stating facts.

Me too me too me too...bahhhhhh!!!:Viking::Crazy 2::Slip::Sinking:

Old People with Food on Their Clothes

I remember back 20, 30, 40 years ago--I'd see elderly people, especially women, with food stains, or actual food, on the fronts of their blouses. I'd wonder, Do they not see it because their eyesight has failed? Do they have early dementia? Are they just too lazy to change clothes? I'll never do that!

Seriously? This morning, as I'm putting on an "almost clean" sweatshirt with just one spot where I dripped applesauce and I'm not going anywhere anyway and I can make it go one more day because it doesn't stink or anything and now I don't have to bend over and paw through the drawer....

And it hit me. I'm one of them!! Now I get it! When you don't have enough spoons to get through the day to begin with, it's just ONE MORE THING. And I'm not even in the era where most clothing had to be ironed.

Would I change clothes if I were going out in public? Of course. Well...maybe to the Post Office. You can always feign surprise and say, "Oh my goodness, I must have spilled something on me just before I left the house!"