[Judy2]

Don't know if I'll be able to get through this since my energy level has been pretty close to zero the past few weeks. Time for another vent, so please bare with me or else go on to something more cheerful. I'm just so sad all the time, sometimes tears and sometimes not, but this miserable disease has really beaten me down and used up most of my body. I feel just a fraction of the person I used to be.

Everything hurts, nerve pain, legs are still swollen with blister-like lumps between my knees and feet, vision is blurry and eyes hurt. It takes so much energy to just get dressed in old pants and sweatshirt/tee shirt depending on the weather, there's no energy left to put on makeup and fix my hair like I always did everyday in my former life. So I usually look and feel like something the cat dragged in.......nothing personal to all you kitty lovers.

Too tired to talk on the phone -- it's so difficult making the words come out, don't even answer the thing most of the time. As for company, forget it. Even having my family here is too much as they don't really know how I feel. Yeah, Mom/Grandma has MS..........but she's had it for years, so what's the big deal? Then there's the "bathroom" issues....UGH!....there's no way in the world to make it to the bathroom in time. Of course wearing these lovely "things" to hopefully keep the flood contained, causes my skin to have problems where the elastic is.

Anyway........you get the picture. Besides all this, I never go anywhere, so what's the purpose? After all these years, it just makes me so sad to have had my life ruined by this monster. Why does anyone have to continue living like this -- year after year??? Sorry to be such a wet blanket but you're the only ones I can "talk" to and who understand.

....to all of you.