Cognitive issues are the worst for me. Most of the time, to look at me, you'd never guess I had MS. But my mind is so blank, cloudy, dark, foggy, and I have a hard time really caring about anything. I've forgotten my kids at school, regularly forget to feed them (& myself), can't be trusted to put things in the mail or pay bills. It's so hard to focus on getting anything done!

Then I get really angry and disappointed with myself, because suddenly the whole day is gone and I haven't even brushed my teeth or gotten dressed, much less tackled my to-do list. Today was one of those days, and by the end of it I was too frazzled to even tuck my kids in because they got on my nerves by bickering in the car.

This disease sucks.

You are typical, Karousel. A social worker told our support group that cognitive is the highest symptom for MS, although a few people don't have it. But most do.

Cognitive issues
 

I have good days and bad. I am a licensed insurance (property & casualty) agent so I have to stay "sharp", but there are days when I wonder "who am I and how did I get here?" My IQ was pretty high when I was younger, so I can't help but blame those foggy days on MS. My husband says it's just age, but I'm only 57. I guess it's good to know I'm not just getting "old". :)

If I spend one day doing a bunch of things, even just a couple, like going to grandson's soccer match and bringing him home, plus going to the doctor, the next day I'm likely to just sit in front of this computer and do nothing much. feel like not moving. Then the third day I'm able to function again. When nerves don't process things fast, maybe they have to catch up. Sounds ridiculous in a way but maybe.
I think it is a great hazard to us to feel that "angry and disappointed" you mention, but I think we must really work not to blame ourselves for the periods in which we can't do much but stare at something. I no longer stare at TV. I turned it off ten days ago because I got disgusted with it. I may turn it on sometime, especially when Downton Abbey finally comes back on. Politics has me fed up, so off with the thing's head until the morons are finished laying waste to one another.

If it was just me, it wouldn't be so bad, but sometimes I just really don't feel competent to be in charge of small children!

I went to lunch with my sister on Monday. We walked into the restaurant and the host asked me "do you want a booth or a table?". Simple enough question. I just stood there.....not able to process the information. Finally my sister said "we'll take a booth". I told her - once we were seated - that it was the cognitive issues that causes that type of thing. That host could have said "do you want me to pour ketchup on your feet?" and it would have made as much sense to me as the "booth or table" question. I hate it when that happens....thank goodness it doesn't happen often......but in a way I'm glad she got to see that. That's something you can't describe to anyone. They have to see it for themselves.

That's one of the reasons I knew I had to get done work. Even though it has always been temporary, just a few seconds, I couldn't expect customers to stand there patiently while I processed a simple question. It would have to come the point of customers not trusting my responses when I DID respond. I think I did a good job of "faking it" until I pulled it together, but there were some awkward moments, at least from my point of view.

My brain freeze moments have ALWAYS been in response (or I guess I should say NON-response) to the spoken word. I've never had that happening while reading, for example. Or something on the TV news. I've never stood there not knowing what to do with a can opener or blankly staring at my checkbook.

But every so often, especially when it's a QUESTION being directed at me, it's almost as though the person is speaking a foreign language. I have to realize it's a foreign language, translate it into MY language, and then I still have a couple moments of knowing I'm supposed to say something, but being unsure just what. I replay the question, and then I'm good.

As I said, even though it seems like forever, it really only lasts a few seconds. My brain is still on dial-up.

I love that "my brain is still on dial up".

I wish we still have dial up, in the phone system. Both land line and cell phone have glitches, such as delivering messages from one to seven days late. My dial up phone didn't have those glitches; it wasn't expected to perform miracles.
Once I forgot my own name when I was sitting in a circle at a yoga class, where we were introducing ourselves. I was sweating, hoping I would remember before they got to me.
I did remember in time. But it was a stress and that yoga class was a special stress that put me in bed for months with a very bad attack.
Recently I forgot my daughter-in-law's name. This was even worse than forgetting my own, as it would have seemed I didn't value her. But I was able to bypass the necessity of knowing the name. This has only happened once. It's not like dementia where you forget consistently the same things (I think that's what dementia is--there were some Alzheimers' patients in my rehab after I broke my leg in Seattle--they would tell you the same story over and over, as they never remembered they had told it before).

Oh my gosh, my manager asked me my 'goal' for the week and I did the "deer in headlights" reaction. Blank stare. I just sat there. Then mumbled incoherently (keep in mind, I work from home, so she can't 'see' me, we're on a phone call conference).

She probably thought I was out of my gourd. I hope she doesn't think I'm hitting the bottle on the job or something... I told her I was taking a medication that impairs my thought processing/cognitive, but she just doesn't 'get' it. It sucks. I totally appreciate you all sharing your stories :grouphug:

(by the way, I'm still doing the same crap 'role' at work, still trying to communicate effectively with clients, still waiting on my accommodation to be approved although I've seen my doctor and my insurer has faxed the questionnaire, which I completed, to my doctor's office and has been in contact with me. Conveniently, my manager's out on vacation! Nice huh?)

I'm sorry you're having to wait, at work, for the changes you need made. I have that thought processing glitch, at times, even though I am NOT taking a med which does this.
My klonopin dose is only .5 per day, divided up into 3 doses, very small, but enough to help with stiffness and spasticity.