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-   -   The "you dont know what you saw" arguement (https://www.neurotalk.org/multiple-sclerosis/171427-dont-arguement.html)

doydie 06-12-2012 11:08 PM

I don't admit it with just everyone because I don't to cause an argument with everyone. But sometimes I will speak up when it is my husband. There are times when we are talking when I here something that he doesn't say. Instead of arguing about it I just tell him that with my MS I percieved it was such and such even though he said it in a different way.

Tonight we were in Walgreens and as I walked past this liqour display I would swear it was talking to me. It was the same voice by the potato chips. As we were leaving I went by the liqour and it wasn't talking to me. The old woman watching me thought I was a little strange with my eaqr towards the display but I was satisfied. Oh, I have never drank anything of any kind of liqour so I know it wasn't calling me. I don't even think I am spelling liqour correctly!

Dejibo 06-13-2012 07:28 AM

With my MS there ARE times that I am not sure about what I saw. There are times I cant remember what I saw, so when I DO speak up, you can bet your bottom dollar I am SURE of what I saw, and I dont need some busy body to tell me im wrong.

#1 isnt that RUDE? when someone tells you something to tell them they are wrong?

#2 how can they possibly know what you did or didnt see? I KNOW what my fav color is, why would you want to tell me I dont know my own mind?

#3 it makes someone who is sick and struggling NOT want to talk to you! then you get upset that I dont stop when I am walking to chew the fat with you. Well, if you call me a liar half the day you bet your bippy I dont want to talk to you.

its not one person in my circle that does it. lately its several and when the DH jumped on the bandwagon I blistered him. I told him I was hearing that nonsense from others and he didnt need to mimic the bad neighbors. He apologized and hasnt done it since.

Erika 06-13-2012 08:13 AM

I think that perception is relative and personal; so mostly I allow others theirs.
For example:
Pooh to an adult human is disgusting...to a baby it is play dough....to a dung beetle it is a palatial home.

But if someone insists on trying to make their perception the only one that is valid, with a light heart, I might ask them what the color of the sky is in their world. That usually causes them to pause or slows them up a bit.

If they persist beyond that, there is always this good line:
"Sometimes it is better to remain silent and appear the fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt."

In the end, it usually isn't worth debating with someone on differences of perception...especially if their's is so limited that it has needed to be pointed out. Some are just so blind, that they just can't see even that.

I have found that to smile sympathetically in their direction and then to carry on is the best punctuation to such conversations.

Sparky10 06-13-2012 09:12 AM

Maybe she doesn't want anyone to talk to her. Maybe she's thinking "Why do all these people tell me things that aren't true?"

I've found that if you give jerks an opportunity to be a jerk, they'll take it. Maybe having MS has made you more aware of this!

knittenkitten 06-13-2012 10:37 AM

I think some people take the opposite side of a subject as a way of furthering the conversation. They do not realize they are killling it instead. I have a boss that disagrees with everything I say. I quit tallking to her unless I absolutely have to. It really hampers communication.

offinthedistance 06-15-2012 02:56 AM

My ususal response;

Well, if I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong!

Dejibo 06-15-2012 08:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sparky10 (Post 888485)
Maybe she doesn't want anyone to talk to her. Maybe she's thinking "Why do all these people tell me things that aren't true?"

I've found that if you give jerks an opportunity to be a jerk, they'll take it. Maybe having MS has made you more aware of this!



I think you may have touched on something. This happens frequently from my nosy neighbor and I am fed up with her. she is a know-it-all and isnt afraid to tell you so. (yes, the one that ruined my b/d surprise) and there are a few others that simply have rubbed me raw and I DONT want to hear their opinion, ideas, or advice.

I walk everyday that I can. I swear a few of them see me out walking and make a bee line to tend their flower gardens on the street edge. I even got a set of bright blue headphones to wear as a signal to say CANT HEAR YOU! so I try to wave, and keep going. So many times they make the motion to "come here, I wanted to tell you something" I have said "let me catch you on the way back please" or "im in a hurry I have an appointment and I will be late if I stop to talk, sorry. but they make the come here motion wider and higher. UGH! NO!

I think there is truth in the finding that with those we like we are willing to put up with much more bad behavior than from those we dislike. I swear, this one woman has simply caused me to think about raising bail money. She called me yesterday 4 times to tell me about her dermatology issues. I explained that I have a fever, bladder infection and am in bed, can we do this later, only to have her launch into how many sun burns she has suffered in the past. I think THIS woman set me up to be less tolerant when others do it, because im so tired of HER doing it! Cant see the caller ID in the dark in my room without glasses and I couldnt believe it when I picked up the 4th time and it was her!

So, I will try to bite my tongue, and not stop when I am walking.

Erin524 06-15-2012 10:48 AM

our house phone has an audio caller id. Someone calls us, it tells us who it is in a nice flat computer voice. Very handy to have around. That way I can ignore all the annoying people.

jprinz99 06-18-2012 08:53 AM

or... you could flippantly mutter what the resident teenager says when wanting out of a convo: "What-everrrr"

:D


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