OK -- here I go again with the complaints, but I have to let it out somewhere! Especially for the newbies, MS has been my companion for 36 years so please don't think this will be you in the near future.

The constant nerve pain has been a "12" ever since this HOT weather arrived. I'm sure it's bothering everyone, but it's really kicking me in the b--- this time. Why in the world do I have to deal with this severe pain all the time? Never a break or a let-up? My neuro had told me there was going to be a clinical trial locally of a new pain med, but so far nothing. Guess another phone call is in order.

The "bladder problem", that sounds nicer than "incontinence", is just as bad. Supposed to have an appointment with a urologist this week, but now the only way I can get there is by the transportation van. My DIL who took me before, is afraid I'll fall during transfers or that she'll hurt her back trying to keep me upright. I totally understand, but have a real problem sending in the form asking for transport. Don't know why it's such a big deal for me, but it's just acknowledging another thing this disease has taken away. As far as the uro, they're thinking of putting in an intra-pubic catheter so I won't expend all my energy at once during the two to three hour sessions of trying to change my clothes.

The spasticity seems to be worse. It's really difficult bending my legs enough to make them stay on the footrests of my "chair". Then the weeping edema is attacking full force from my swollen legs. Some of the blister-type thingies look like yucky growths on my lower legs with slimey lymph stuff rolling down my legs.

To top it off, my right arm is getting noticeably weaker. I really count on my arms being my legs don't work. Can barely stand for a couple minutes.

I am so sad. All I seem to do a good part of the time is What do they really mean by "quality of life"? If an animal was in this condition, we'd think about the inevitable. Being human, we just have to suffer.

Sorry to be so depressing, but there isn't anywhere else to turn. This isn't living, this is torture. All right............I'm done now.