Hi...

I have severe depression problems that started with the prednisone.
At this point i dont know how i survive my days. Im lying in bed, anxiously searching obsessivly for stuff on the ipad. My head is exploding and i cant stop crying, i just really dont see the point of living anymore. Im terribly scared my old friend will die, i have weird thoughts, obsessive, anxiety and what more. I dont recognize myself anymore.
I have arthritis, myasthenia gravis, thyroidproblems and they say i have probably ms. One neuro was sure, second was sure i hadnt and third said maybe.

God, im 22 and i stopped living 4 years ago. I am on the couch or on the bed.
Everything hurts, fysically and emotionally.
I never was like this before the prednisone. I take only 22,5 mg a day for over 2 years now and evrythime i try a little less my diseases flare up like fire.

I want to die but, feelong crazy to admit, i dont because my life is so empty, im scared the funeral is so quiet because my social life is non excistend.
I know im being crazy, but i really feel this prednison is messing my brain up. I cant think clearly, im not myseld anymore. I used to be happy and relaxed, even with all the diagnoses and stuff.
Note I also have fysical side effects, diabetes, moonface, striae like tattoos, vomiting blood once a week, etc...

My gp gave me antidepressants (ssri) but im too scared to take them yet. Been to 2 psychiatrists, first said it's too difficult for her because i have multiple diagnoses. The second said, yeah, its prednisone!

What i want to know: if you have been taking Prednisone for a long time and had severe mental side effects, did you become your old you after lowering the dose or quitting? Or did they stay?
I suffer so much

[ginnie]

Prednisone is a lousy drug. If you can get off it you will feel better. Please have heart. I was in a trial study with an auto immunesupressant for 10 years with something called DNCB. When I flaired they put me on that predisone and I went wacko. I was only 29 at the time, so i do have great empathy. You must find the psychs and doctos that can tailor your medications so you can feel better. Anti depressants....don't be so afraid of them Raven. It took several tries for me to find one that works. I take zoloft, and I am in a better place. Your life is not over. You just have to find the right help, and maybe see someone who can address all the issues at once. Have you considered Mayo Clinic? They have a host of doctors from all fields coordinate for your care. I was never treated better than there. I got some stupid virus, and it socked my immune system and I thought I wanted to die too. I am now 60, and still kicking. I want you to have some hope. Much depends on how you want to handle the situation you are in. If one psych says no, by gosh get to another one. Call the hot line, if you have to, just don't give up. There are also womens resourse centers, in most cities that may be able to guide you for the proper help. Really, I do feel your pain and have great empathy. You must take the bull by the horns, get off the couch and bed, make the appts. you need and go for the help. Prenidsone if you google it up, will show you a list of symptoms that can happen. alot deprends on how much you are taking. It must always be tapered down under a doctors supervision.
Depression just by itself is a booger, you have alot of different things coming at you all at once. Try to single out the worst problem first, and try that direction. I got depressed like crazy taking prednisone. Keep in touch I care, and I really hope you get some help. .No 22 year or, or 29 year old should give up. Fight to have a good life and you will. My cousin dianne has MS got it in her 20's. She is doing just fine and she is 62 now. There are also new medications out for it that just went on National news. If you post where you live maybe some of us can recommend some doctors to try. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Don't give up. ginnie

[Debbie D]

First of all, you should try to call your doc and let them know how you are feeling-it could definitely be a drug reaction.
Second of all, it is not a healthy drug for the body. The neuro that first diagnosed me with MS put me on monthly infusions of solumedrol. I switched neuros after several months of unhappiness with him. My new neuro told me that that is not the way steroids should be used-that my body was being negatively affected by it. He has only prescribed steroids once for me in the 3.5 years I've been seeing him.
Why are you on this, and why for so long?

Hugs to you, dear...please get in touch with your doc asap...and keep us updated...

[KittyLady]

I too got severe depression on prednisone and IVSM. Steroids can do that to you. I'll second what Ginnie said, get off them if you can! There maybe something else out there that can help keep your flares away. Im constantly amazed at all these meds out there that help one problem, but create 5 more problems. Depression is the worst. Ive had it for too many years to count. It comes with chronic illness' I believe. Who wouldnt be depressed going thru and coping with what we have. I too have been down the "I want to end it all" alley. I was dx at 22 with 2 wee ones at home. Its a lifetime of crap, but always remember you're not alone. We are all here for you. The support and guidance given here is far more than I ever expected. Folks here are truely a God send. There's alot of help out there for you before you really hit rock bottom. 800 numbers galor, and counselors at churches, hospitals, local community college, (they normally have students in their final year from the psychology dept) etc. Never give up. There's always something better around the corner for you, you just have to take that next step to see it. Never give up, never surrender!!

[tkrik]

Ginnie couldn't have said it better.

Steroids, long-term, can have a negative effect on you. Discuss this as well as your issues with depression with your dr. and see if there are other medicines that may work better for you.

In the meantime, make sure you are getting enough electrolytes as steroids can deplete them. That imbalance can cause all sorts of problems for you. Ask your dr. to do some blood work regarding this.

And, lastly, when I do IVSM I usually get blue around the 4th day after. It's not fun but I know it is only temporary.

Hang in there and let us know how you are doing.

Thanks all
This week i have an appointment with my neurolist. I'll take my mom with me, because I'll probably wont be able to say a thing (cry sooooo easily these days hehe).
I already told 6 of my doctors these side effects which I consider to be severe and unacceptable. Some say, I don't know. The others say, yes but is good for your illnesses, and thats that.
Anyway, this week an appontment, and ill ask for the 4th to please, please try the new and expensieve treatment. Its a pitty the just dont understand my sie effects.
Thanks again you foryou support, specially giinny, thanks so much.

[Mariel]

I understand feeling crazy with Prednisone. I felt crazy on only 15 mg, which is what they started me on for Pericarditis (fluid in heart sac). I pounded the car window when my husband was driving. I pounded the wall in the house. I was desperate, as you are. Later I found I had Porphyria and Prednisone drives porphs crazy. I can take Cortisone, but not Prednisone.
I see you have several illnesses, which makes it so hard.
You asked if my condition (mental) went away after stopping. Yes it went away within a day after I stopped.
I can't take anti-depressant either, but most people can.
I wish you could go to Mayo as someone suggested. I went to Mayo Scottsdale for another illness (I too have three major illnesses) and they did give me help which no one anywhere else could do--that is, they gave me a treatment which is not available elsewhere. It didn't cure me but it helped my severe painful neuropathy, for which I can take no drugs. The neuro there was the nicest, smartest one I have met. And of course they do have you looked over by other specialties. I hope you can go to such a place.